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He flung his arms around me and squeezed me tightly.When he let go, I told him about the elementary school in town and that I might be able to teach there while he went to grade one.
"What about Dad?Will he come?"
And there it was.The moment that could no longer be avoided.
"No," I said."Dad will stay in the city."
"He has to work, right?Dad likes to work," Ben said with the honest acceptance only a child possessed.
"Ben, what would you say if I told you that you have two dads?"I swallowed hard and waited.
"Does the other dad work lots?"
"Does it matter?"
Ben shrugged."I guess not."
"So, would it be okay?"
"I guess."
I waited for him to say something else.When he didn't, I said, "Well, you're a lucky boy because you do have two dads, and someday very soon I'm going to introduce him to you, okay?He really wants to meet you."
"Okay."
I shouldn't have been surprised by Ben's nonchalance.He didn't understand it yet.He probably wouldn't for a few more years.I hadn't discussed with Andrew how I would handle this situation and I'm not sure he cared all that much.Despite everything, I knew Andrew must care for Ben, even if it wasn't the way I always wished it was, and no matter what, I knew he would be part of Ben's life in some way.
I rocked us in the chair and when Ben's breathing changed to slow, rhythmic breaths, I kept the chair swinging, enjoying the weight of him next to me too much to stop.When I saw the flicker of a shadow move next to the tree line, I didn't panic.The woods were full of creatures; it was probably a raccoon, a rabbit, or even a deer settling in for the night.But when the shadow stepped out onto the lawn and into the square of light coming from the window of the house, my breath caught in my throat, but not because I was scared.
