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ChapterThirty-Two
Leo
"Lexi,I—"
"Ssh."I held my finger to my lips and gestured to my lap."Stay right there."I slid out from Ben's sleeping body and lifted him in my arms.It was harder now—he wasn't a toddler anymore—but I managed to carry him into his bed.I took off his shoes and jeans; he could sleep in his t-shirt.I gave him a kiss on the forehead and pulled the blankets up over him.Closing the door gently behind him, I straightened my blouse and went outside to talk to my son's father.
Leo wasn't where I'd left him.He'd moved to the dock and was standing at the end, looking out into the blackness of the lake.
"Leo?"I spoke softly so I didn't spook him.
When he turned around, my first instinct was to run to him and let him hold me.My body had craved his touch since I'd left him.But I held myself back and wrapped my arms around my body.
"I'm sorry if I scared you," he said.
"You didn't.I knew you were here."
His face was mostly covered in shadows, but I could make out a sliver of a smile from the light coming from the house.
"It's a pretty small town," I said by way of explanation."Word is, you're here to swindle Dex out of the Inn."
"Is that right?"His voice was light and for a moment I forgot everything between us.Everything we still needed to figure out.He moved towards me but stopped only inches from me."I missed you," he said, his voice deeper now.
"I'm sorry that—"
"Don't be sorry.You had a lot to deal with.I'm sorry.I should've come sooner.I'll never forgive myself for not being here with you."
I couldn't help it.I didn't want to, but I did.I started crying again.Just having Leo near had released the flood of emotions I'd done my best to keep bottled up.
"I asked you not to come," I said between sobs.
"Hey," he said."Come here."Leo stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms.It felt good to be close to him.He smelt like coffee and wood smoke, like he'd been sitting in front of a campfire.I nestled my face into his sweater and let the tears flow.He rubbed my back but didn't say another word.He let me cry and didn't rush me while I exhausted my emotion.Finally, the tears slowed and I pulled away just enough to look at him.
"Thank you," I said.
"For what?"
"For that.I needed to do that."
"I was going to ask how you're holding up with everything, but I don't think I need to."He wiped a tear from my cheek and the gesture was so gentle and intimate I thought I might start to cry again.
"Come on," I said, "let's sit."I took his hand and led him off the dock, across the lawn to the deck.Once we were in the light, I could see his face clearly and the resemblance to Ben struck me again.
He sat in a wooden chair.I grabbed my blanket from the swing and sat across from him, turning my back to the lake.
"I wasn't sure I'd see you again," I said.
"Seriously, Lex?"He sat forward in his chair."There was no way I was going to let you walk out of my life again.You tried, I know.But I wasn't going to let you push me away.I'm not going anywhere."
I wrapped the blanket tighter."It's not fair to you," I said."I mean, you have a career—you have a life.I understand if you don't want...well, this."
"Lexi, stop."Leo grabbed my forearms and held me tightly, forcing me to look at him."There's nothing else in this world that I want more than this.Nowhere else I'd rather be."
I looked up again and saw the emotion on his face.In that moment, I knew I was only going to hear what I wanted to.And he was saying exactly what I wanted to hear.
"I'm sorry," I said."I didn't know what to do.There was so much going on and...I was scared," I admitted."I didn't want to make you choose because I was—I am—afraid of your choice."
"You don't have to be scared."Leo pulled me towards him and touched his lips to mine.The kiss was brief, the sensation gentle, but there was no doubt of the feelings behind it.He pulled away and released my arms."And don't you ever worry about me choosing.I choose you.Always."
