Page 68 of Forever Yours


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“And if they say no, they won’t hold, then what do I do?” It might have seemed like I was being difficult, but that exact thing had happened already, which was why I was getting the lecture.Ugh.Only two days as a temp receptionist, and I already wanted to quit.

The woman—I couldn’t remember her name—pursed her lips. “Just try harder, dear.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I didn’t want the job, but I sure as hell needed it. I had bills to pay after spending all of my savings in LA, but more importantly, I couldn’t sit in my apartment and feel sorry for myself anymore.

The previous week, Georgia had taken a red-eye and shown up at my apartment door to give me tough love. I couldn’t believe she had taken the time to do that when she was still competing on the show. Though it hadn’t been her intention, her appearance had only made me realize yet again that I was a shitty friend. If for no other reason than I didn’t want Georgia to feel like she had to come check on me again, I dragged myself from my bed, changed out of my pajamas, threw away all my used-up tissues, and applied for a job.

That night while I cooked myself dinner—thankfully, no more sad prepackaged salads for me—I called Georgia. Truthfully, I didn’t want to hear aboutSing Battle, but I sucked it up for the sake of my friend. She didn’t have anyone else to talk to who understood like I did.

She told me the latest news about Walter and Brandon then paused. “Sooo,” she finally said, dragging it out in a way that told me I wouldn’t like what she had to say. “Have you spoken to him yet?”

“No, and I’m not planning to.” Honestly, I was surprised she hadn’t brought it up before then. It had probably killed her to keep her mouth shut for the past month.

“I just think you might want to hear his side of things?”

“Side?” I laughed bitterly, wishing I was still numb. That would have been preferable to the feeling of a vice squeezing my heart every time I thought about Trenton and what he had done. “What side? It’s clear what he did—he left me out to dry on national television and got me disqualified fromSing Battle.What could he possibly say that would make up for that?”

I’d been asking myself every day since it happened. Trenton cared about me—or at least, he used to—and I knew that in my soul. That was what hurt the most—he cared, yet he’d still crushed my dream. I’d replayed our conversation about the photos—the most I could remember, anyway—and though I could admit he hadn’t been happy about putting us on hold, he had given no indication that he was so pissed that he would humiliate me on the show.

“Always remember, I want the best for you.”Those words haunted me because I didn’t know what they’d meant. He’d seemed sincere, but his subsequent actions made me believe otherwise, made my heartbreak a physical pain deep in my core.

“I just think—”

“No, Georgia. Just no.”

“What?” She seemed put out. “I’m not allowed to think?”

I rubbed my forehead, which was starting to throb. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

“I know. I’m trying to guilt you into doing what I want you to do.”

“Not this time. The phone works both ways, you know? He could call me.” His actions had been so out of character that I’d expected him to come to his senses and apologize. But with every passing day, it became clear that he wasn’t going to, and my heart broke a little more, the shards spreading through my body until it felt like my insides had been shredded. I didn’t think I had any left to break, but I kept proving myself wrong. I hesitated before asking my next question. “Have you seen him?”

She sighed. “No, honey. He has no reason to come to the studio, and frankly, I don’t think he’d be welcome.”

That didn’t surprise me. For the first time since we’d been paired up, the media was more Team Alison than Team Trenton. The consensus was that his actions had been shitty. Sadly, that didn’t make me feel any better. I didn’t think anything could make me feel better about what he’d done. It would have been bad enough if he’d simply been my partner, but we’d been much more than that. The betrayal was a sick feeling deep in my gut. I alternated between wanting to scream and curl into the fetal position.

Georgia had to go, so I finished cooking and sat down to eat. As tired as I was of those stupid salads, I would much rather be eating one with Georgia than eating in my apartment alone. I missed my friend, and it caused a different kind of sadness, though just as gut-wrenching, that we wouldn’t see each other much anymore.

I missed Trenton in spite of it all. Yesterday at work, I’d been flipping through an oldPeoplemagazine and came across a picture of theAvengerscast putting their hands in cement for the Chinese Theater. Initially, my heart had warmed as I remembered how fun that visit had been. Then it had shattered yet again, the pain as fresh as it had been my final night onSing Battle.

That was the thing, though—everything had been great with Trenton right until that last day. Sure, there were things that bothered me, like the thing with Lindsey and the idea that I wasn’t pulling my weight with the audience votes onSing Battle, but when it had just been the two of us, it had been damn near perfect. That was what I missed—none of the bullshit, justus.

I loaded my dishes in the dishwasher and pulled a notebook from under the couch cushion. It was silly to hide it, because I didn’t know who I thought was going to be interested in it, much less go searching for it. But the contents were so personal that I was scared to leave it lying about. I turned on my laptop and opened the piano app I’d downloaded. If I’d wanted to use the real thing, I could have gone to my parents’ house, but that came with way too many caveats, such as actually speaking to my mother, which I still hadn’t done.

I opened my notebook to the page I’d been scribbling on the past week. For the first time, I was inspired to write my own song. I only wished I hadn’t had to suffer through heartbreak to be inspired.

Trenton

I read the paragraph on my phone a second time: “An unnamed source close to Trenton Mazer reports that Trenton believed he was doing Ali Prescott a solid by letting her have the spotlight to herself. This source requests that people not judge Trenton too harshly. He didn’t realize the repercussions of his actions.”

Unnamed source, my ass. At least Evan’s words made me sound clueless instead of cementing that I was a raging asshole who’d purposely sabotaged his partner so he wouldn’t have to do the show anymore.

I’d gotten several interview requests since my final appearance onSing Battle, and I’d declined them all. Only one person deserved an explanation, and that person wasn’t talking to me. Everyone else could think whatever the hell they wanted.

I had picked up my phone to call Ali a million times, but every time, I had refrained. I couldn’t explain myself to her—or I didn’t want to because I stood by my opinion that she needed to figure her shit out on her own. I wasn’t a betting man, but I’d thrown in all my chips on that move. I was all in on Ali. She didn’t needSing Battleto get a recording contract. Besides, the terms of the contract she would get if she won the show probably wouldn’t be in her favor, anyway. She would be required to sign it with no room for negotiation.

I texted Evan:I’m coming to see you.

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