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“Wow.” I shook my head. “Was that a compliment?” That was two sort-of compliments in as many minutes.Mind blown.
She sighed. “Why are you making this more difficult than it has to be?”
And there she is—the mother I know and tolerate.“I’m the one making this difficult?”
“Look.” Her tone was sharp, and she cleared her throat before continuing. “I won’t pretend to be mother of the year. We both know that isn’t true. I probably shouldn’t be a mother, but you know how you came about—”
“I was a mistake,” I prompted. That had been made clear to me time and time again.
She ignored me. “And Stan wanted a child, so I had Emily for his sake. But I’ve done what I can. I helped you get into college—”
“I’m supposed to thank you for that? You practically bribed them to let me in. In case you haven’t seen all the news about college admission scandals, that’s frowned upon. In fact, it’s illegal.”
“We didn’t bribe them, Alison. Your stepfather is an upstanding businessman. He wouldn’t stand for that. We knew how much you wanted to get in, so we nudged. That’s all. It probably only amounted to you getting your acceptance letter earlier than you might have otherwise.”
I read between the lines of what she’d said—I had gotten in without their help. They’d merely expedited the process.Holy shit.That changed some things. However, there was one thing that remained the same, something I never thought I’d ever admit to her. “I didn’t want it,” I said quietly. “I only studied opera because I thought it would make you proud of me.”
“Well.” She seemed taken aback, a first for her. “Well,” she said again, “that seems like an incredible waste of time and money, then.”
I couldn’t stop the bark of laughter that escaped my lips.
She frowned. “I wasn’t making a joke.”
“Of course not,” I said, still laughing, “because you don’t make jokes.”
She seemed utterly perplexed by my reaction. The situation was absurd, though, and for once, we agreed on something—my college degree had been a waste, along with everything I’d done to try to please the woman.
In her own way, my mother wanted what was best for me. Trouble was, she refused to accept that she didn’t know what that was. She would never understand me or my choices, and that was something I would have to accept. The fact that she’d watched me onSing Battlegave me hope that while she didn’t understand me, she might support me anyway. It wasn’t the mother-daughter relationship I wished I could have, but nothing in life was perfect.
“What did you think of my partner?” I asked her.
She pursed her lips. “What was his name? Tristan?”
“Trenton,” I corrected.
She waved her hand dismissively. “He was okay, I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing. He didn’t compare to you, though, especially on ‘Phantom.’ Wherever did they find him?”
“Mom,” I said slowly, “he’s super famous.” I didn’t bother to explain that he had been in Misdirection because I doubted she would know what that was.
“I’ve never heard of him.”
“We probably only made it as far as we did on the show because of him.”
She snorted, the first time I’d ever seen her do that. “People are idiots. You are obviously the more talented one.”
I closed my eyes and let her words sink in, waiting to feel a rush of happiness. Instead, I only felt empty. I’d received high praise from the person I’d been desperate to impress my entire life, but it had come at the expense of someone I cared about, someone I loved. It made me feel sick.
“He’s really talented,” I said quietly.And funny and sexy and kind and everything I could ever want.
“If you say so.”
“I do say so,” I said vehemently, suddenly feeling sick for a very different reason. The media had been all over Trenton, calling him selfish for throwing the competition, but they didn’t know him like I did, and I was starting to understand.
She shrugged. “If he’s as famous as you say, then he’s probably well connected. If you are going to continue to pursue this type of music, that can only help you.”
I recoiled at her words. “I don’t want to use him for his contacts. I want to make it on my own.”
My mother chuckled as if I’d made a joke. “Darling, no one makes it on their own. Look at Emily. She’s getting a leg up because of her relation to me. Eventually, she’ll most likely surpass me.” Her matter-of-fact delivery was shocking.
