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“Who said anything about falling in love?” I asked.
“You didn’t have to. I know you. I can see it when you talk about him, when you get a text message from him. Something is there. Something more than you’ve ever imagined, or ever allowed yourself to imagine. As exciting as the fellowship is, so is your relationship with Mac. It’s okay to want them both, and to be conflicted about which one you want more, or trying to find a way to have both.”
“I just found out less than ten minutes ago and you already have me rearranging my life and Mac’s over this. I’m going to need a minute. Maybe even two,” I said.
“You should take it. All of it, and you should talk to Mac about this. See where his head is with it all.”
“No. I need to make this decision on my own. Whatever it is. If I decide to stay, I need to know I did it for me, not for him or us. If I decide to go then I need to know that I did it for me, not because he or anyone else pushed me to go. If it goes south either way, then I have no one to blame but myself.”
“That is very magnanimous of you and stupid,” Faith said.
“Stupid?”
“Yes. Stupid. This might be your life and your decision ultimately, but Mac is a huge part of it. If you weren’t so into him then you wouldn’t even be worried about what he thought. As he is, then you need to talk to him about it. You need to see what he wants to do. I think you will be surprised by his answer.”
“It isn’t his decision to make. It’s mine. Whatever it is, it has to be mine. I have to own it. It wouldn’t be fair to have him help me decide to go and then miss him and New York and need to come back. Conversely, I don’t want to stay and, as you say, hate him for not going. Until I have an idea of what I really want to do, I’m not going to discuss it with him. When I have made a decision, I will tell him about it. It will be easier for us in the long run.”
“I think you’re making a mistake, but it’s your mistake to make,” Faith added when she saw the look on my face.
“You said this is my future, my career, so it should be my choice. No one else’s. I have never let a man decide my life or be a factor in it. I’m not going to start now. Yes, Mac matters to me, but he isn’t the only factor to consider here. I love you for everything you’ve said, but I need to figure this out on my own.”
Faith reached over and poured more wine into my glass and hers.
“Fair enough. I won’t push. If you need a sounding board, you know where to find me. Until then, should we order some Thai food?”
Chapter 25
Mac
“I wondered when you were going to come visit me,” I said.
“This isn’t a social call,” Cole said as he stormed into my office and sat down in front of my desk.
He was a formidable man in any situation but as he sat across from me with his blue eyes holding mine, I almost squirmed in my seat. Cole was a few years younger than me, and I had known him since he became friends with Walker in high school. It was one thing to know the man as a teenager, it was another to have him come into my office as a man who was concerned about his sister-in-law.
“It isn’t? Do you need some advice? Some PR help? I thought Faith would come to me with that.”
“Faith could run circles around you, and you know it,” Cole stated.
“I couldn’t agree more. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to get her to come and work for us, but for some reason she won’t. I can’t imagine why?”
“We aren’t here to talk about Faith.”
“I’m here to work, you were the one who came into my office in the middle of the day looking like you wanted to call me out for a duel at dawn. So, why don’t you tell me what you want.”
“What the hell is going on with you and my sister?” Cole asked.
“You have a sister? Did your father have another child we didn’t know about? Congratulations.”
“Don’t be coy with me. I’m talking about Hope. She’s like a sister to me and is my sister-in-law. I love her and will treat her like she was my own, and she is. That includes calling out people who mean her harm.”
“Harm? I would never harm Hope. I would sooner cut off my own arm then cause her a moment of pain,” I said.
I could understand Cole’s concern for Hope. They had always been close and if the roles were reversed, I would be doing the exact same thing for my sister. In fact, I had done the same thing with Luke, Bailey’s fiancé. I knew exactly where Cole was coming from. I also knew he didn’t have anything to worry about and I thought it might be fun to play with him a little. Though I didn’t like him thinking that I would harm or hurt Hope and it made me worried why he did.
“Then what are your intentions with Hope?”
“That’s for me and Hope to discuss, not you and me.”
