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Chapter 18
“Do you really think he’s lying to you?” Summer asked as she prepared tea for us.
I sat on Summer’s love seat. We were meeting to go over the logo she’d created for the Watering Can. “Not exactly lying.” I mean, omitting the truth was lying, but this felt less intentional. “More like avoiding. He won’t answer my questions about his parents. Something is definitely going on, and Yasmine confirmed last night that his behavior is odd. She doesn’t think this is typical for him either, which I already knew. She texted me this morning that she’s talking to her mother later today. She’s going to try to have one of her family members reach out to Marco’s parents and poke around for information.”
Summer carried the tea over, handing me a mug. She took a seat in her sunny-yellow rocking chair. “That’s so strange. It doesn’t sound like Marco at all. Did you end up talking with him after you went out with Yasmine?”
I took a sip of the lemon chamomile tea. Very nice and soothing. “No. We texted a little bit. He invited me over, but I declined. I’m a little nervous to see him, because I don’t want this to morph into a huge deal.” I cupped my hands around the warm mug. “Our relationship is new and fragile. But if Yasmine doesn’t get information soon, I will absolutely confront him about it. I’ll have no other choice.”
Confrontation was one of my least favorite things to do in life. Not only did it make me anxious, it gave me heart palpitations. Just thinking about it now made me begin to perspire.
“What do you think he’s keeping from you? Like, he didn’t actually tell his parents he and Yasmine broke it off? Or that they did, and they’re angry about it?”
“Something like that.” I considered what I thought was the most likely scenario. “My guess is that he told them the engagement was off, and that upset them, and then he told them he was already dating something new, and they couldn’t handle that. Some drama like that. More than likely, he’s just worried about hurting my feelings. And I totally get that! Don’t get me wrong, I do. But the whole not knowing is way worse than him telling me he lied to spare my feelings. Not to mention, if his parents are angry, he’ll be forced to choose between us, at least for the time being. That would be awful. I honestly didn’t want to be melodramatic about it, but here I am being exactly that. I’m so excited to be with this man. I don’t want anything to go wrong, which I know is compounding the situation. Maybe I’m too hypersensitive about wanting it all to be perfect right from the get-go. No relationship is perfect.” I drank some more delicious tea. “I’m probably just being silly, and it’s nothing.” It didn’t feel like nothing, but it certainly could be a much smaller issue than I was making it out to be.
Maybe his parents were actually fine with everything, but just wanted some space to process it all, and he didn’t want to talk about it until they were ready.
Summer tucked her feet underneath her. It was sunny outside, and her loft was bright and cheery. It was such a cute setup, eclectic and mismatched. It suited her perfectly. “I don’t think you’re being silly at all. His behavior is giving you a red-flag vibe, so you have no choice but to listen and investigate. Once you get to the bottom of it, things will go back to normal. I’m sure of it.”
“I’ve lusted after this man for so long.” I slumped back into the pillows. “On the pedestal I created in my mind all those years ago, this man is pure perfection. I’m having trouble reconciling the fictitious Marco my brain conjured up with the real Marco. That might be the root of all this. Blending them into one real human who has flaws has been difficult. When you’ve idolized somebody for as long as I have, and they don’t live up to your expectations, where do you go from there? You cry on your girlfriends’ shoulders, that’s what you do. Just listening to myself telling you all this feels pathetic.”
“You’re not crying, and you’re anything but pathetic,” she consoled. “Eve, your feelings are legitimate. In the past, your boyfriends have mostly been nice and proper. Marco is an emotional choice for you, so you’re invested in a different way. Your heart is on the line this time. He gets your blood pumping in a way the others didn’t. Kind of like Xander and me.” She winked. “It’s the only kind of relationship I recommend these days, by the way. Go for the guy who gives you all the feels. Who knew you and I were each dating guys in the past who weren’t fulfilling us because we were scared to take an emotional plunge? Well, you weren’t scared,” she corrected. “You were just biding your time, waiting for an opening. I was the one who was scared.”
“You’re right about the emotional part. My feelings are off the charts with Marco. But ‘nice and proper’?” I chortled. “What does that even mean? All my past boyfriends were fun and social.” That was the truth. “They had stable jobs, if that’s what you mean by ‘proper.’”
Except Lucas. He’d been in the process of getting his real estate license when I’d met him. I had no idea if he was still doing that, or if he’d gone in a different direction, but he’d been my most flamboyant pick, if flamboyant could refer to a man who changed jobs every three years or so.
Summer giggled. “It wasn’t meant as a burn. You’ve just been very thoughtful about your relationships. You’ve picked really good guys who are steady and easygoing. You seemed happy when you were with them. But being with Marco is different. In a good way. He brings out an unstable side of you. You’re not as rule-followy when you’re around him. I’ve noticed a difference in your behavior. You’re more”—she swung both hands in circles in front of her—“caught up in the moment. Does that make sense? Again, not a burn. Just facts.”
She was right.
I did feel a little out of control when I was around him, and this was literally the only time I’d ever felt like that in a relationship. I didn’t hate it, which was weird. In fact, I felt the exact opposite. I found myself craving that feeling.
And I had been happy with my boyfriends in the past. But there was a difference between being happy and being fulfilled. Summer was right. It seemed I’d picked nice, proper guys in the past.
It wasn’t that Marco wasn’t both of those things. He was just more. I guess it shouldn’t have been surprising that loving him might be more complicated.
I drank some more tea and contemplated what she’d said. “I’m not sure how I feel about being less rule-followy, since I enjoy rules.” I really did. Order in the world just made sense. “Which might explain why I’m having such a hard time with this. Things should go in their proper place. People should act predictably. When they don’t, it causes my anxiety to skyrocket.” I rubbed the back of my neck. I felt like I was getting rashy having this discussion. “I really want this to be solved so we can move on and grow closer. I want our relationship to progress without feeling like there’s a hurdle we can’t jump over.” I shook my head, my gaze landing on Summer’s big front window. “It doesn’t feel insurmountable, but if it keeps going, it will be. I don’t want to back him into a corner or try to catch him in a lie. I just literally want to know what’s happening with his parents. Then I want to help him figure it out.”
“You’ll get that chance,” she told me. “This man is incredibly crazy about you. From what you’ve told me and what you guys discussed about your road trip with Yasmine, he’s been into you for a long time. Maybe just as long as you’ve been into him. He was in an arrangement in which he was on track to marry a woman he wasn’t crazy in love with. And suddenly”—she snapped her fingers—“he’s with the woman of his dreams. Or at least a woman he’s been thinking about for a long time. There’s no doubt that that kind of realization could throw him for a loop, make his decision-making a little less solid. If he thinks for a second he’s at risk of losing you, it might make sense that he’d react cautiously. He’s not going to put your relationship in jeopardy if he can help it. Now, if whatever’s going on happened a couple years into the relationship, then it might be a betrayal. This? This feels like a man who’s willing to sacrifice a lot to make sure there are no early bumps in the relationship.”
“Yasmine said just about the same thing.”
“See?” Summer was upbeat. “This is already getting solved. Whatever is going on with Marco, he’s trying to deal with it without worrying you. That’s my take, anyway.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“You’re in the throes of a budding relationship. Remember how I reacted when Stacy confronted me and told me she was Xander’s fiancée? I was overly emotional. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was caught up in this crazy love hurricane between Xander and me, and I thought the world had stopped on its axis because he’d lied to me. I should’ve called Xander right then and there and asked him to explain, trusting that everything he’d said to me the short time we’d been together was the truth and not a lie. But I didn’t. Instead, I ran home crying. We each come to a relationship with our own baggage and trauma. Whether it’s from previous boyfriends, family, broken female relationships, everything is up for grabs. Marco’s behavior is obviously triggering you, and that’s fine. But take it from me—go into this with a calm, cool head if you can. Set yourself up to understand that Marco might not have made the decisions you wanted him to make in the moment, but he made them because he cares so much about you. It makes a difference.”
“Thank you,” I told her. “That’s great advice. I’m so glad I came over.”
“Anytime,” she said. “You were there for me when I needed it the most. I’m happy to return the favor. You and Marco were visiting possible locations for the Watering Can, and you dropped everything to come and help me through my crisis.” She chortled. “And if you recall, the crisis was that I was making out with the man of my dreams. Literally the hottest make-out session I’ve ever had in my entire life. And I ran out of there like a lunatic. So that’s what friends are for—we drop everything for each other.”
“I’m beyond grateful that I have such a great group of dependable friends,” I said. “It’s saved me thousands of dollars in therapy.” I still spent money on therapy, of course. But having great girlfriends certainly helped.
“Me, too,” Summer said. “Now we get to talk about the fun stuff. The Watering Can logo is on its way. I think you really going to love it. I did three iterations, like usual. But I’m really excited about one of them in particular. It’s a flowerpot made of flowers in bright colors, heavy on the pinks and greens. I think it fits you and the concept to a T.”
“I’m so excited to see it.”
