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“I guess it must have been hard,” Alice conceded. Both her nan and pop passing before Alice even remembered them would have been a huge sadness, though Rowena rarely mentioned it. Then starting up the Book Genie when Alice was barely out of nappies, well, despite the major fibbing, she had to admire her mum.
Rowena shrugged. “I was young. I got on with it. I tried to forget all about Henry. I pretended to everyone, Nan and Pops included, that you were the result of a one-night stand.”
Alice felt her lips twitch. “Andrew from Basingstoke.”
“Mmm. So, of course, when you started to ask questions, it was easy to keep up the lie.” Rowena gave a little shrug. “By then I think I’d almost convinced myself of it too. It’s amazing—if you do it enough, you start to believe your own lies. Now, darling, I’m not saying I’m proud of it. None of it. As time went on and I saw Henry in you more and more; the way you smiled, your poor little knees that kept getting injured. Your eyes—” Rowena sighed heavily. “The passion you have for the Brontës and Jane Austen, oh gosh, it tore me into shreds.”
“You never showed it, Mum. Ever.”
Rowena waved her hands in the air. “Ta-da, Rowena Montgomery, Mistress of emotional disguise.”
Huh,like someone else Alice knew.Shehustled thoughts of Aaron into a dark corner of her mind and slammed the door. There were parallels opening up between her and Mum that she didn’t need to investigate right now.
“What made you decide to go find Henry? Without telling me?”
“I just thought if Henry was unhappy about being a father and I’d already told you, the pain of him rejecting you would be too much for you to bear.”
“You don’t know that, Mum.”
“I know, darling. Iassumed. I always assume, don’t I?”
The truth hung between them, acknowledged but unspoken. The assumption Alice would work in the Book Genie after she graduated. The assumption she would be happy for swathes of her salary to be funnelled back into the shop, the assumption she would keep on living at home with Rowena.
“It wasn’t hard to find Henry,” Rowena continued after a moment’s silence. “To be honest, I’d been internet stalking him for years. When I turned up, he was so happy to see me. And then, oh goodness—” She sandwiched her cheeks between her palms. “When I told him about you, he cried. Openly wept, poppet. He is so happy to be a father, and so is Gabe—by default.”
“Gabe?”
“His husband.”
“Oh, yes, the actor.”
“I have a letter from Henry for you in my luggage,” Rowena added, almost as an afterthought.
Alice was about to demand it—yes,demand—when Rowena’s next comment floored her. “He’s here. In Australia.”
Her eyes flew wide. “Henry’s in Perth?Now?” she almost squealed, jumping up from her chair.
“Not quite. He’s the keynote speaker at a conference in Sydney. But he’s planning to visit Perth on the way back to meet you.”
Black dots swam in front of Alice’s eyes. Totally overwhelmed, all she could do was sink back into her chair. “Oh, god, when?”
“On Sunday.”
Only five days from now. Trip-trippity trip went her heart. Alice’s head nose-dived between her legs.Breathe deep and slow, in for two, out for three…
“Oh, sweetie, has all this started an attack?”
Alice got it under control. Brought her head out from between her knees and pressed a hand to her breastbone.
She knew what she had to do. “I’m fine. But I don’t want Henry coming to Perth.”
Rowena looked shocked. “Darling—why ever not?”
“No offence, Mum, but I need to see my father on my own terms first. Without you there.” Resolve fortified Alice’s spine, one vertebra at a time, until she was sure she was sitting taller. “I’ll fly to Sydney to meet him.”
Rowena’s jaw dropped. “But you’re terrified of flying.”
“There’s a lot of things I’ve been terrified of, Mum.” Alice got up and placed her hands flat on the tabletop. “But as from now that’s changing.” She met Rowena’s saucer-stare. “I’m going to Sydney to meet Henry. End of story.”
