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“Does she have to hold your hand while you do it?” Her tone was cold, jeering. He didn’t blame her, he’d behaved appallingly.
He took a deep breath, preparing to open himself up to further humiliation. There was nowhere else to go. Not if he had any chance to make amends.
“Emma left me for Drew. They’d been having an affair behind my back for months before I found them pretty much in bed together.”
This time her eyes flew to his. Round, horrified. He braced for the caustic, “you deserved it” response.
Her mouth fell open. “You’re kidding.”
He shook his head.
“And you had no idea?”
“I always knew Drew had a crush on her. I didn’t know she reciprocated. It came to a head when Drew was touted to be the next Bachelor. Emma became so moody and dark. Quite unlike her—she’s a level-headed kind of girl, mostly.”
He felt a spike coming from Polly, could sense her comparing her volatile nature to Miss Perfection, and wanted to say how dull it was now he’d found Polly. But it would look crass, try-hard, so he kept quiet.
“We weren’t seeing much of each other. She was busy with work, so was I, and then one night I went round to Drew’s and he wouldn’t let me in. Emma was in there with him. It all fell into place after that.”
“Why would your best friend do that to you? I would never—how could she—?” Her eyes were sparking with anger and he realised she wasn’t ridiculing him, shecaredthat he’d been hurt. Hope flew around his chest like some manic little bird.
Until she said, dully, “So no wonder you’re not over her.”
Fuck.This was not the direction he’d planned. He moved towards her. She wound her arms tightly around her waist.
“You’ve got this all wrong. I’m over her,” he said.
“Yeah, like hell. You couldn’t even mention your ex was coming to the woman you’re…” She stopped and he felt his brows lift as their eyes met.
“What are we, Polly?”
She looked at him helplessly, then her eyes skittered away. She wasn’t going to get out of it that easily. Not this time.
“Exactly what are we to one another?”
She shrugged, stared at the collar of his shirt.
He gave a bark of a laugh. “There we have it. That’s the crux of the problem, isn’t it? I don’t know where I stand with you.”
It was her turn to shoot out a harsh laugh. “So you just hedged your bets by having Emma waiting in the wings.”
“No! Jesus Christ. No.” He rafted both hands through his hair in sheer frustration. “God, are you being this difficult on purpose?” She didn’t answer. “Okay.” His palms came down on the table between them and she jumped. “Sorry,” he said. “I just don’t know where to go next. You block every attempt I make to talk to you about us. Every time I try and say what I feel, you just laugh it off… push me away.”
“I do not.”
“You do.”
She glared at him now. “Okay, I’ll tell you what wewere. Wewerefriends. And fuck buddies, if you want to add another minor detail. But that doesn’t give you the right to hide things—”
“From where I stand, it does,” he almost snarled back. “If you think yourfuck buddywon’t think of you as this cool guy anymore, that they will view you as a loser who couldn’t hold on to his girlfriend, who didn’t even see it coming… if you are worried about all that while trying so hard to impress the woman you’re crazy about…”
He had the grim satisfaction of seeing her jaw go slack.
She wrapped her dressing gown tighter around herself. “W-what?”
“You heard me.”
“You don’t mean that.”
