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Something deep inside told me he was making his mind up, and it wouldn’t serve me well to have my back to him when he came to a decision.
“Excuse me?” she hissed.
“I said enough. You get to know a lot about monsters when you’ve lived with one, and deep down, they’re all lashing out because they’re broken inside. If you think you’re currying favor with your cheating boyfriend by attacking and cutting me down, I suggest you try a new tactic,” I said to her, but gazed at Alexander. “If he cared that much, he’d be staring at you, not me.”
His eyes narrowed to slits. Ever so slightly, his fingers twitched.
I think he’s made up his mind.
“How— I’m not—” For the first time since I met this unpleasant woman, she faltered. “You can’t talk to me like—”
“No, you can’t talk to me like that. I didn’t trade one miserable existence with a monster to come to another prison and put up with your garbage. You want all of Alexander’s attention? You can have it. It won’t be missed.”
His lips peeled back, sounding the warning bells in my head. But under that blazing sun, clutching my aching body while the echo of Sirena, the handmaidens, and the goddess’s laugh rang in my ears, I couldn’t stop.
“I’ve got bigger things to worry about, so stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours.” I said it to Sirena, but my gaze was still on him. Always on him. “Trust me, you won’t be missed either.”
Giving them my back, I limped out of the stadium.
“Hey— Hey, come back here! Don’t walk away from me, bitch! No one speaks to me that way.”
Sirena’s shouting, fussing, and carrying on followed me out onto the grass.
“How I admire your fire, my little pet. Even though your attempts to defy my will displease me, I will enjoy watching you make enemies along the way.” That strangetsking laugh. It would follow me to the day I died. “The harder you try to save them, the more they’ll prove they don’t deserve to be saved.”
***
IDIDN’T MAKE IT TOthe mess hall that afternoon. After the beating I took in the arena, I dragged my battered body into a hot bath and soaked until I wrinkled. All my friends were lounging on their beds or in the common area when I returned to the dorm.
Daciana wasn’t among them. I had no idea where she went after leaving history, but she was entitled to stay there while she worked out what she was going through. It wasn’t like they could execute her for skipping training for an army she’d never join.
“We’ve got to spend every spare minute on these scrolls,” Ionna explained. “We brought you something to eat though. Hope you like sausages and artichokes with poppy seed pastries for dessert.”
I more than liked it. I scarfed it down in between picking up my own books and getting to work on my scrolls about harpies. Our textbook only had two chapters on the creatures. I ran out of things to say five scrolls in.
Eventually, we put aside our impossible task and headed out to the grayed-out section of our schedule. My friends led the way to the atrium, where they turned right instead of left. My eyes drifted against my will, finding the spot where I held Galen as he died. Memories took me, leading my mind away though I continued on and outside.
I bumped into Nitsa’s back, nearly sending us both toppling down the marble steps.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize everyone had stopped.”
“We had to,” she said softly. “Look.”
I looked down, following where she was pointing. The entire novice class stood on the steps, waiting respectfully as the procession passed. Madame Remis led the way, speaking and gesturing to the two men carrying a stretcher across the lawn. A sheet lay over them, but there was no questioning they were carrying a body.
A band tightened around my throat, knocking me off balance.Galen?
“Can’t believe it,” Nitsa continued, unaware of what was happening behind her. “Another life lost during training. It’s so senseless. Why can’t they make these lessons safer?”
Tycho’s response floated over her head to me. “Because they don’t care if a few or more Sisypheans die. It’s only further proof we don’t belong in the army. Better we die here with some semblance of honor than be a liability out there.”
Nitsa quieted while I got my breath back. My prayers were with that poor soul and their family who did not think them worthless—no matter what class they were in. But it wasn’t Galen. I couldn’t have born if it was Galen.
Only when Madame Remis and her silent bearers were gone did we continue to class. Whispers trickled through our group, passing the news on.
“His name was Giles Nanos.” I didn’t recognize the girl talking to Ionna. “Son of Alectrona, the goddess of sun and morning.”
“Was he killed during training?”
