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Chapter Five
Declan
Declan had madeit home under a haze of anger and jealousy unable to stop himself from thinking about Andi’s anger fuelled statement when he had let his jealousy rule the voice in his head that was telling him to shut the hell up instead of making the already volatile situation worse. He’d had the opportunity to start off peacefully, but instead, he had pulled the pin on the grenade that was him and Andi.
“So if that bothers you, the next time you see me walk my fine ass down the red carpet, turn off the goddamn TV.”
And of course as Andi strode out of the penthouse, all Declan could do was dip his eyes to said fine ass before she disappeared from view and he had to take a few minutes to rein himself in before he left the penthouse and headed for his apartment.
He had fallen in love with the space as soon as he saw it while helping Luna’s dad clear it out. It was a two-story warehouse that he felt could be turned into a studio on the ground floor and an apartment for him upstairs. It had stone walls and concrete floors that just had called to him and once all the paperwork was signed and sealed, his three brothers, the band, and even Luke and Noah had come to help him sort out both the studio and the apartment.
He had worked his fair share of dead-end jobs in order to be able to afford his warehouse in the south side of the city. Luna’s dad had been looking to sell the place after the tenants moved out and he had sold it to Declan for a steal under the stipulation that the band didn’t forget that it was Mike who had given the band their very first gig in the family-run bar.
Declan loved Luna and her twin brother Luke’s father. He worked hard to make sure his kids got the chance to live their dreams but making sure they stayed grounded, just like his Ma did. Luke and Luna were still expected to pull their weight and tend the bar when they could, even if Luke was always busy considering he was an F1 race car driver.
Jogging up the stairs to the open-plan apartment, Declan tossed his keys to the side, set his guitar down beside the couch, then opened the fridge and pulled out a beer before he threw himself down on the sofa and pulled his phone out of his pocket to call Noah. Luke had introduced Declan to Noah, his teammate and rising star in single-seater racing years ago and they had hit it off right from the first moment. Then Noah had asked the band to play at his twenty-first birthday party and that was when people really started to take notice of Heartache Melody, and doors had started to open.
But other than that, Noah was sound. He hadn’t had the best childhood, to be fair. And like Declan, Noah had a history with a girl who he couldn’t let go of no matter how much he tried.
It was just the universe’s karma that the two women in question were his Andi and Charlotte Coyle, Noah’s new boss at Rebel Racers.
And when the fuck did he start calling Andi his again?
Rolling his eyes, Declan pressed call and didn’t even wait for the other man to say hello before he grunted out. “I’ve had one hell of a morning...how’s your girl?”
Noah’s response came immediately down the phone in a pissed-off tone. “She’s not my girl and so far, I’ve been avoiding her.”
Noah wasn’t one to run from a fight, had been fighting his whole life to chase his dreams, and yet, there was something about Charlotte Coyle that had the cocky git behaving like a shy, surly teen again. But, hey, who was he to judge considering he defaulted to grouchy asshole mode the moment Andi had stepped into the room.
He had been avoiding the past and what had happened between him and Andi like the plague for years, pouring his anger into lyrics and music, and a hell of a lot of alcohol.
“Noah,” Declan said with a sigh, “if today has taught me anything, ya can’t run from your past man. That fucker will sucker punch you when you least expect it. Go and get it over with and then meet me in O’Malley’s for a pint.”
Declan hung up the phone, knowing Noah would meet him at the bar and they could put the world to rights without the pressure of having the band around. O’Malley’s was a little firefighter pub his Da used to take him to and he was always welcomed there when he stopped by. Normally they would go to Luna and Luke’s dad’s pub but sometimes, he and Noah just wanted to sit and talk shite and not have the band around them.
Noah didn’t judge him for all the stupid shit he had done before Andi left to go to college nor did Declan judge Noah for what he had done to push Charlie away. They kept each other's confidence, knowing the other would never, ever divulge any secrets.
Declan ran his fingers through his hair before he allowed himself to think back to the last massive fight he and Andi had before she left school to spend the last few months of her leaving cert in private study.
They had been clashing for weeks, Declan’s girlfriend Lauren having it in for Andi and because Declan had been so angry at Andi, he had let it happen. He had treated her so badly because he was hurt, and he had let his ego rule his actions.
The door to the music room burst open and Andi came rushing in like a hurricane. Her cheeks were flushed with her temper and her eyes showed the hurt and the pain that their recent clashes had caused.
“You bastard!” Andi snarled at him, striding forward with her fists clenched. “how dare you show that loose knickered bitch the lyrics I helped you write and then tell her it was my way of throwing myself at you. She plastered the lyrics all over my locker. Do you have to humiliate me in every way possible?”
Declan shrugged his shoulders, trying to appear nonchalant when in fact he was dying a little inside. He hadn’t even shown Lauren the damn lyrics. She had snooped in his lyric book, songs that he and Andi had worked on and when Lauren had laughed at some of it, Declan had told her the lyrics were all Andi.
He hadn’t expected Lauren to go and be as vindictive as she had been and now, without his knowledge, his personal lyrics and feelings were all over the school, even if they were blaming Andi. And he hadn’t told anyone otherwise.
He’d already fallen out with Rhys because of it, and now Andi was standing in front of him looking shattered.
“I can’t do it anymore. I can’t deal. You’ve won, Declan. You’ve fucking won.”
That was one of the last times he had seen Andi in person alone and he had sat there like a lemon and said nothing. The lyrics had been deeply personal to them both, writing like it was a duet, with him singing both parts and it had been less angsty, less rock than he was used to but it was his and Andi’s lyrics.
They had spent hours lying on the floor of Rhys’s bedroom and trying to perfect it but they never got around to finishing it. It remained unfinished in one of his many lyric books because he couldn’t bring himself to conclude without her.
Instead, he had written songs about her that he would never sing to her. Songs that were filled with pain and anger and regret. Some he had tested with the band to see if they worked toward the album and others were just so deep and raw he couldn’t share with anyone and he tweaked those in the midnight hours alone in the studio where no one could see into his soul.
He had tried to talk to her when her parents threw her a leaving party but she had evaded him all evening. And then she was gone along with his hopes of making amends, of coming clean and finding out why she had not turned up at the concert that night.
But now Andi was back and would be staying in Cork for the foreseeable future.
It was up to him to take the opportunity to have his say and to get closure on one of the most important things in his life so maybe he could move on with his life and forget that he was still in love with Andi Collins after all this time.
And maybe he was just fucking kidding himself.
