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29: Ronan
Sarah texts me to say they’re ready for me in the main conference room. A buzz tickles the edges of my mind. This is it. Everything I’ve done, bringing these two companies together, comes down to today. I have so much riding on this deal that failure isn’t an option.
I’m not worried. I’m finally feeling awake again. The thrill of victory is so close I can almost taste it.
I have no idea if Selene is going to show. The thought of doing this without her kills my buzz a little, but I won’t blame her if she doesn’t come. I’m prepared to go over her material if I need to. I try to push thoughts of her out of my mind.
Maybe it’s better if she’s not there. I won’t be distracted. Today, I need to be focused. On point. Ready.
The air in the office tingles with electricity. People watch me as I walk to the conference room. Everyone knows what this meeting means. I feed off the tension, letting it drive me. It feels as good as a plane climbing, or standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump. This is what I do. This is what I live for.
I’m in my element, but there’s a hollowness to it.
I should be sharing this with her. But I can’t.
I walk in and greet our guests. Ten men and women sit around the table, several in highly decorated uniforms. Sarah sits at the table, along with two of our lead developers.
Selene isn’t here.
“Good morning,” I say. “Welcome to Vital Information and Edge Gear.”
The door opens. From the corner of my eye, I see Selene walk in. Her entrance almost shatters my concentration into a million pieces, and I falter for half a second while I regain my composure. She quietly takes her seat, but doesn’t meet my eyes.
I recover quickly and move on with the introductions while Sarah passes out packets. The beginning of the presentation was always mine, so I continue on. I can’t read anyone’s faces. If they’re impressed by my speech, they’re not showing it. I click through the slides, giving an overview of our company and products, as well as background on some of the developers and engineers who have particularly impressive resumes. I emphasize the team aspect, and talk about how we’ve brought together the two teams to achieve something completely new and extraordinary.
I get to the point where Selene should take over. She’s here. Does that mean she plans to go through with her part of the presentation?
I shouldn’t even have wondered. She stands up on my second-to-last slide and eases her way to the front, unobtrusive so as not to interrupt me. She still won’t look at me, but she takes the remote from my hand and smoothly launches into the next part of the presentation.
She’s perfect. She holds her audience in rapt attention while she talks about the technologies involved and how we’re bringing them together to provide state-of-the-art protective gear with both military and law enforcement applications. Her intimate knowledge of the team—and the tech—shines through in her words. Selene is an excellent speaker, and I see interest playing in the eyes of several of the people sitting around the table.
I realize after several minutes that I’m not watching her. I’m listening, but my eyes are on the other people in the room. I don’t want it to be noticeable, so I force myself to look up at her.
In the dim room, with the projector screen glowing behind her, she’s framed by a soft glow. Fuck, she’s beautiful. I’m mesmerized by the way her mouth moves when she talks. The straightness of her posture. The way her neck looks so soft with her hair pulled up.
But more than anything, I’m so fucking proud of her. She is nailing this presentation in every way possible. Her points are spot on. Her excitement for the project shows. There’s no question she knows her shit. She’s making me look like a rock star for having her on my team.
If we close this deal, there’s no way I can claim credit. She’s owning this room right now, and I’m in awe of her performance.
She finishes her part, and opens the floor to questions. She and I hadn’t planned the meeting beyond this point, but she stays up front, taking questions and directing them to the engineers when necessary. I let her take the lead. She’s relaxed and competent, and there’s nothing more I need to do until the hand-shaking at the end.
I take it as a good sign that they have so many questions. I answer a few, and the engineers get a chance to talk about their recent developments. I sense a great deal of interest. We don’t have an agreement yet, but we will. I can sense the deal closing.
It will take weeks before we have a signed contract, but it’s going to happen. I can feel it.
I should be in the midst of an adrenaline rush, fueling my high. But Selene’s voice lodges itself deep inside me, her proximity like a tiny hammer knocking inside my skull. I realize I’d counted on her not being here. She’s hardly been in the office, and I’ve been waiting for her to turn in her notice any day. I certainly haven’t given her any reasons to stay.
But here she is, knocking the socks off everyone in this room, myself included. And I’m hit with such a raging storm of emotions, it’s all I can do to say the right things to close up the meeting and assure them we’ll have copies of the official proposal to everyone by morning.
After what feels like an eternity, the meeting ends and our guests file out. Selene lingers, standing at the head of the large table, thumbing through her notes like she has a reason to stay. I wait behind, nodding to Sarah as she heads back to her desk, and close the door behind her.
Selene looks up at the sound of the door closing. Her eyebrows lift, like she’s surprised I’m still here.
It all came to me in a rush as I watched her. I know what I need to do.
“Can I talk to you?” I ask.
“Sure,” she says.
