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I watched as Kasem caught up with Li and Saul, and I started to wonder what the hell was on with those three.
“Can I stay with you and Sammy tonight? I don’t wanna spend any more time in that prick’s company.”
“Sure, you can share the bed with me.” Cho replied surprising me.
I turned, raising my eyebrow. “Really? You’re not worried someone will find out?”
“I don’t give a fuck, Kwan. They can think what they like. You’re my friend, for fuck’s sake.”
When we finally reached the hotel, I made my way to Cho’s room, ignoring Saul’s withering looks. He could go fuck himself too. I was done putting up with his bullshit.
It was about time I stood up for myself. I’d let people walk all over me before. I should be grabbing this opportunity by the balls, not sitting here wallowing in self-pity.
As for Beau? He’d looked happy enough. I wouldn’t split up a perfectly good relationship just because I fancied a one-night stand with a guy as good-looking as he was, but in a way, I felt he needed an explanation as to why I’d invited him along and then ignored him.
Cho and Sammy cracked open a couple of beers, and we sat on the bed, chatting about how the gig had gone that night. We all agreed Kasem was running the show, and then I told them about what Kasem had said, about the money, how it was his group, and how I thought they were trying to push us all out, one by one, starting with me.
“Just keep your nose clean, Kwan. Don’t give them any reason to kick you out,” Cho said as he lay on the bed, his back against the headboard. “What happened to the guy anyway? The one you invited along tonight. I didn’t see him.”
I didn’t really want to talk about it, but I had to tell someone.
“I think he had a boyfriend. He was with some guy tonight. A bit average looking, but they looked close, you know?”
I leaned back on my hands as I sat on the floor, wincing as my wrist gave way beneath me. Sammy was on it straight away.
“What did you do? Let me take a look.” He was hoping to be a doctor, and before he joined Kings, he’d been planning on going to university. He took my wrist, turning it this way and that.
“It doesn’t feel broken, maybe sprained”—he ran his hand over my knuckles—“and these will heal.” He looked at me again, waiting for me to answer.
Did I tell the truth, or did I lie?
“I had an argument with Kasem about the group, the money. I got angry when he pushed me, so I shoved him back. I might have punched the wall in the bathroom.”
“I’m going to strap this up properly for you. It's not too swollen, and you need to keep taking the painkillers. The pain should ease in a couple of days, and the swelling will go down too. I have some cream for the knuckles, but they should be ok.”
Sammy dug around in his bag, pulling out a red bandage, strapping it tightly, concentration on his face. It felt much better already.
When he was done, he sat back on his bed with a bounce, looking between us both.
“So, what are we going to do about this? With this new information, we could confront Saul. Not sure Li would be on our side. He tends to hang around more with Kasem these days, but the three of us could say something to him.”
“I’m not comfortable doing that just yet. Not with this new gig coming up.” Cho voiced the thoughts I was having. Things were just starting to take off for us. We didn’t need to rock the boat now. I nodded in agreement.
“Me either. Why don’t we wait a few weeks, see what happens and if things don’t improve or this appearance doesn’t happen, then we say something.”
“Okay, I agree for the moment, but now, I’m going to bed. I’m fucked and not in a good way.” Sammy put his bottle in the bin and climbed into his bed.
I stood and went into the bathroom, stealing a pair of Cho’s sweats to sleep in. He wouldn’t mind. I stripped off, ruffling my blue hair, looking at my roots. They would need doing again soon.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Dark bags shadowed my sunken eyes, and my lips were chapped. I usually used a lip balm or a lightly coloured lip gloss when on stage, but it had worn off. I had a terrible habit of chewing on them until they bled, and a bead of blood dotted my dry lips. I licked it away, watching as it formed again, mesmerised by the colour, stark against my pale lips and skin.
I touched them, wiping it away, and wondered just how long it had been since I’d been kissed, wondered what it would have been like to have Beau kiss me. He had the most beautiful lips, from what I remembered. They were plump, and I bet they’d be soft and welcoming. I recalled the warmth of his hand as I shook it, the calluses from working, a far cry from the smooth skin on my hands.
It wouldn’t hurt to text him, would it? Just to say I’d seen him there, but that he’d gone when I looked again. Maybe I could find out who the guy was without actually asking. But how would I explain my ignoring him, not even smiling at him, when he’d been looking my way.
I had no excuses, not one, but it was playing on my mind. If I didn’t deal with it, I knew it would just be a constant niggle in my brain until I did something with it.
I finished up in the bathroom and went back into the room. Cho and Sammy were already asleep. I found my phone and pulled up Beau’s name in my contacts, my fingers hovering over the text button. I climbed into bed next to Cho, curling up on my side, the covers barely covering me.
Kwan: Thanks for coming tonight. Sorry you had to leave. And I’m sorry I ignored you.
I deleted the message and retyped it several times, each time wondering if it was the right thing to do. I typed the same message once more and deliberated pressing send.
“Just send the fucking text, Kwan. If he wants to get back to you, he will.”
I pressed send and threw my phone on the nightstand.
Cho was right. He could ignore it or not; I just hoped it was not.
