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“Yeah. If she had broken your heart the way that fast girl had, we would’ve had us a nice Fourth of July bonfire. But you’re the one that broke her heart and your own. I’m not saying I don’t understand why you did it. It’s honorable. We raised you well, but my heart hurts for her too.” Aunt Iris extends her hands toward the presents.
They’re so wrong but I’m way too tired to argue right now. “I’m going to bed. I haven’t slept all night.”
“We know, hon. We can tell. Go on and get some rest. I’ll wake you up for late lunch. We can go to the fireworks together this evening.”
Oh, shit. I forgot about the fireworks. I’m in no mood for a celebration.
I head to my room, close all the curtains, take off my clothes and throw on some pajama pants. The smell of my mother’s lavender detergent and hints of blueberry are in the air as I lie on the bed and close my eyes.
My phone starts vibrating. I almost fall out of bed to grab it from the night stand. But it’s not Saona. It’s the bar manager, asking if I can come to work today and tomorrow. I want to. I do. When I broke up with Josie, work at the bar was what kept me busy and not thinking. It was a refuge, along with my house and my full-time job. And I could use the money for the next phase of house remodels and repairs.
My answer is short and to the point.I’m still out of town.
I’m going to spend the next two days here. I can see what I can do around here and when I go back home, I’m going to throw myself into fixing the second floor. I’ll take as many shifts as possible at the bar.
My last thought as I fall asleep is that maybe instead of New York, I should have brought Saona here.
* * *
Saona
It’s no use. I honestly don’t care about crucial confrontations any more than I did about crucial conversations. Plus, the beach is really no place for books about work environments and politics. I place the iPad in my lap and stare out into the sea. The waves crash against each other and break into glorious foam. I let myself exhale into a peace I haven’t felt in days. A peace I had not wanted, if I’m honest.
I haven’t wanted time to think because thinking is bad. It brings memories and pain. Right now, all I want is the sun on my skin, the sea salt in the air, and the breeze washing over me. That’s why I ran away from the beach house we rented. Punta Cana is too beautiful and just what I need right now. It’s time I enjoyed it.
“I knew I would find you here.”
I smile up at my sister.
She looks like a swimsuit model in the black bikini she bought at the hotel store yesterday. She drops on the beach chair next to mine. “You look good, Saona. We have to get your photo in that red monokini. You can use it as your profile picture on Facebook. But you’re evil because you should’ve saved me too. Mom trapped me in the room for twenty minutes, asking me to help her with you.”
“Sorry,” I grimace. “But, every woman for herself.”
We both laugh.
“I’m sorry you’re caught in between. I just don’t need to talk to her right now. I finally slept well last night.”
We’ve been non-stop for the past five days. After Jax left, we got a call that our grandmother was sick and we had to come to the Dominican Republic to see her. Thank God, she pulled through and is already back home but it’s been a hectic time. Our mother, as always, has been impossible. And that’s saying something. Because I only speak to her when necessary.
This trip, even with the scare, had been a gift. God is really watching out for my mental health. I hadn’t gotten a chance to digest the whole Jax thing and I got to see my grandma. I also got away from my apartment, because minutes after he’d walked out the door, I didn’t think I could stand being in there. So many times, on the way to the airport, my finger hovered over his name on my phone. I’d put it away and turned it off. My job had my grandmother’s house number but they wouldn’t bother me.
“If it weren’t for Emmi and Eddie, I would tell you let’s stay another week.”
I stretch my arms up and the iPad slips down the side of my stomach and lands on the chair. “Only if we can put mom on a plane back.”
“Of course.” She signals for the beach server to come our way. “Can we get twoPresidentes?
“We’re going to drink beer at nine in the morning?”
“We’re at the beach. That’s allowed. Are you going to call him back?”
A fissure opens over my chest. And it’s all one word,him. She doesn’t even have to say his name and I’m on the verge of breaking again. “No.”
“Manita, you know me. I think most men are shit. But maybe you should talk to him. See what he wants.”
“For what? It’s over and it’s better if I get back to my normal life, anyway.”
“And what is that, exactly? You went from being with David to being with Jax.”
