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She knows very well but she’s hoping I tell her different. That way she can get on Sierra when she gets back.
“She went to visit KellyAnn in Pennsylvania.” I kiss her cheek and ask for her blessing, like a good daughter should, but we are lukewarm with each other at best. I can’t forget the things she’s done and she’s always unyielding.
“Come sit for a minute.” It’s not a request and she shoots an admonishing look to the kids, who’ve let out a groan behind me.
She steps into the living room ahead of me and Emmi tugs at my hand. I look at her and she whispers, “Padrino’shere.”
Padrino, Godfather. David. Fuck me.Angry heat sweeps over my body. Why is he here? Why didn’t my mother tell me?
I school my face into a neutral tone. “You guys go get your things together and we can leave in a few minutes.”
They nod and head to the room my sister and I used to share.
I step into the living room and thank God my niece prepared me. One look at his smiling face, and the comfortable way he’s sitting in the living room of the apartment I grew up in like he belongs more than me, and the fires of hell are burning through my body.
“Hello, Saona.”
Fuck that.
I turn to my mother but I can barely look at her. “Can I please speak to you in the kitchen?”
“We have company, Saona.”
Whatever. “I need to talk to you, Mother.”
“I don’t want to cause any problems.” He couldn’t be more insincere, so I don’t bother looking at him but turn my mouth his way.
“No one’s fucking talking to you.” I say.
“Saona.” My mother breathes out but I start walking and she has no choice but to follow. “You will not speak like that—”
“You see that over there?” I point to the living room. “You will never do that to me again. I don’t care if you love him like a son and see him on your own time. If you ever ambush me again with him like this, it will be the last time you see my face. You’re my mother and I’ve always showed you respect but I’m done allowing you to disrespect me.”
Her eyes go wide and her hand shoots to her chest. “I’m not disrespecting you. I just don’t want you to make a mistake you’ll regret forever.”
I sigh because I don’t want to scream but I snap. “We’re divorced. I would have never stayed with a cheater knowingly.”
“Cheaters deserve a chance too. Don’t be like your father. Don’t throw away someone who will love you even after you’re dead because of a mistake.”
My heart leaps to my throat and I stagger back. “Oh my God. No. No. You cheated onPapi. That’s why you guys broke up?”
“It was a mistake. One I’ll regret for all my life. I begged him for a second chance. But he, just like you, didn’t want to bend. And then he died and I couldn’t love anyone else.”
I’m nauseous and I want to cry for her because this is the saddest thing but mostly, I’m angry. BecausePapiwas the best person I’ve ever known. He was hard working and passionate and he cared for his family. He used to help my unmarried aunts with stuff around their apartments and drive them where they needed to be. He didn’t deserve to be cheated on. I want to scream at her but I can’t. Maybe it's because she’s my mom. Either way, I just want to not be in her presence right now.
“I have to go. The kids are going to get impatient. But I meant what I said. If you ever pull this on me, I’m done. I won’t come back again. You regretted your mistake all your life. That asshole in your living room only regrets that he no longer has access to my money. The money you broke up my relationship with Jax for but don’t care that David pilfered on street skanks. I’ll see you later, Mom.”
I walk away. My niece and nephew are at the door with their coats on and their backpacks strapped on their backs. I smile at them. Because it’s easy. They’re beautiful and excited. “Let’s go.”
“Saona, can I talk to you? Don’t blame your mother.” David is standing by the archway to the living room.
I stroll past him and then turn my back on my niece and nephew so I can mouth what I really want to say to him.
“Fuck. Off.”
* * *
Saona
