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“Uh, baby, I’m not following,” I tell him.
“I imagine you aren’t. Feel trip over, darlin’. We get back home, I show you my list and then I fuck you hard. ”
“Your list?”
“Yeah. My list is about to change. My girl feels, freely and happily, with no small amount of brave courage. Time to take that list and turn it into a bucket. ”
“You make no sense. ”
He just smiles and nods. When we situate ourselves back on the seat, he takes the trails at a slower speed, but none less exciting, until we reach his truck. He loads his ATV back up in the bed of his truck, and then walks over to me.
“Get naked,” he orders with a wave of his brow.
I look around, seeing nothing but trees and sky, and then because I’m too busy wondering about his list and bucket riddles, I pull my mud soaked shirt over my head. His eyes shoot straight to my chest and I smirk to myself when he groans.
“Towel,” he barks after I wrestle my wet jeans down. He wraps a clean towel around my body, then folds at the knees to help me step out of my pants. “Leave your panties on. I know it isn’t comfortable with the mud and all, but if you take them off I wouldn’t even care if it was a dirty fuck, I would take you so hard. ”
“Ohhh kay, so they stay on,” I sarcastically draw out.
“While I get ready. Pull the glove box open and grab my list. Mark off number three, and then take a look. Pick which ones you want to experience together, then cross off the ones you don’t. Then our list becomes a bucket. ”
“Do you mean bucket list? What? Did you have one before? I don’t think they work like that, Lee. You can’t take your bucket list for yourself and make it a couples project. ”
He doesn’t respond; too busy peeling his mud-soaked clothes off before wrapping a towel around his hips. I roll my eyes and move to climb into his truck, pressing the latch on his glove box and reaching in to grab the solo piece of paper on top of his owner’s manual.
I recognize the handwriting as Dani’s and my brow pulls tight. I do a quick scan to see it’s a good size list, full of activates. On the top, Feeling Alive, is written boldly and underlined. Two items already crossed off, reading them both brings tears instantly to my eyes. Paintball and Karaoke. It hits me then that this isn’t his bucket list, it’s the one he created as mine. Or better yet, going by the title, he created this as a map for his plan. My hand shakes when I see the third line has “muddin’” written in Dani’s neat script.
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“I had this brilliant plan that if I did enough things that made you feel, it’d cause your body to spike in adrenaline and your heart to go out of control, that you would remember how much fun being alive is. You’d been living in a dark place and I just knew you were keeping yourself from feeling in order to protect yourself. I understood it, darlin’, darlin', every bit of it, but in order to make you see how much I care, I had to remind you that feeling alive is worth the fight. ”
“Oh, God,” I mutter.
“I figured I could have stopped the list when you became mine, but then I remembered how beautiful it is to see you experiencing the beauty of living. So, instead of Feeling Alive, we make a new list, Feeling Together. You pick from there, or we pick together, but we make a list of things to do. Once a month, Molly goes to Mom’s and we live our lives, together, and never stop feeling. ”
I look back at the list, smiling when I see ‘sex’ made the list at number ten. My voice coming unstuck and I look back at Lee. He’s studying my reaction and I notice, to my shock, that he seems nervous.
“Sex wasn’t until number ten?” I ask and his shoulders relax and his dimple comes out.
“Well, yes and no. I didn’t tell Dani when she helped me write that list, but that sex was public sex and not just sex, sex. I hadn’t planned it out yet, but I figured that one could move around when we found a bathroom with a sturdy lock on it. ”
I laugh, place the list down in my lap and reach out to grab his hand.
“Could we maybe add some things that Molly can do with us?” I ask.
“Yeah, darlin’, I would love that. ”
“Then as far as I can tell, we’ve got a good list to keep us busy for a while. But, Lee . . . there is no way in hell you’re going to get my to jump out of a plane or off a bridge. No way. ”
He throws his head back and roars with laughter. My hand tightens on his and I watch as his abs flex with his rumbles and when his eyes meet mine again there is nothing but love in them.
“You’re going to enjoy every step of us feeling together, darlin’,” he vows.
“I already do, Liam. I already do. ”
“OH, GOD!” I SCREAM WHEN Lee tightens his hold on my hips and pulls my body back forcefully to meet his thrusting hips. When he pulls back just a breath and then slams back inside my body, I clamp down.
“So tight. Fuck, the way you squeeze my cock, darlin’. ” His voice is strained and when he pulls back, my pussy clamps tight in response, not wanting him to leave me.
“Please, Lee,” I beg with no idea of what I need except for him to make it happen.
“Fuck,” he growls and his hands leave my hips when he pulls completely from my body, causing me to whine instantly, before I’m flipped and his body is covering mine.
“You’ll get my cock, Megan. Fuck, when you make that noise I swear to Christ I can feel it in my balls. Pulling tight until I have no doubt I could come from you making that sexy as fuck whine from losing my cock. ”
Instantly, I mewl and whine, the sound making him close his eyes.
My hips rock against his and I watch as his jaw clenches, making those sexy flexes pop out near his ear. Of course, since I find that ridiculously hot, my hips pick up speed and his cock, already wet with my excitement, slides between my folds. He doesn’t open his eyes, but his hands come and frame my face, his palms holding my head by my ears and his long fingers curling around the top of my head.
“Come inside me, baby,” I beg, wanting him to fill me so badly that I’m panting for it.
His eyes hold mine and he groans when, again, I rock my hips. “I love you, Megan. ”
My heart thumps, “I love you, Lee. ”
His hips move this time, slowly. “So much, darlin’,” he murmurs and then closes his eyes.
“Yes,” I breathe.
“So much. ”
He pulls back his hips, but doesn’t move the rest of his body, keeping us connected from hips to head when his lips brush lightly over mine.
“You’ve given me the world,” he says, still whispering.
I nod and then gasp when he moves his hips back in, my legs coming up, and his cock filling me without aide.
“I’ll love you until I take my last breath,” he pants, his hips thrusting in a torturously slow speed. “Forever, Megan. ”
“Yes. God, yes, Lee. Forever. ”
His eyes never leave mine. His thrusts never speed up. When we both come, together, I watch as one small tear leaks out of his eye and falls onto my face. He doesn’t speak or acknowledge the sign of how deep his love is rooted that still burns an invisible trail down until his tear is lost in my hair. When we both come down from our climb, he doesn’t leave my body, just wraps his arms tighter and pulls us to his side.
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We fall asleep like that and while in the safety of his arms I feel the peace I’ve been working for. All the pain of the past vanishing as I let go of the last hold it had on me and while I drift off to sleep, thank God that Lee brought me back to life.
I felt it.
When she finally let go and gave me all of her.
It was a moment that rocked me straight to my core.
When she gave me her body, I watched that last tiny bit of fear bleed from her face, and the realization that she can trust in our love enough to let go.
I don’t know what I did in my life to deserve her love but whatever it was I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure I’m worthy of that gift.
Her body goes slack and I know she’s asleep, but I still can’t get my arms to let go. I hold on, all through the night, and not once do my arms slip.
“Darlin’,” I call down the hall, grabbing my keys off the table by the door before walking down the hall, “Megan?”
“In here,” she grumbles from the closet.
“What the hell?” I question when I walk into her room. “Did your closet throw up?”
“Funny. ” She moves back from her closet and almost trips on the shoes that are scattered on the floor. “I was looking for my black boots, but I think they’ve vanished to the same mysterious land that my socks always go missing to. ”
“Mysterious land?”
Her hands come up and plant on her hips. “I’ll have you know that place is real. How else do you explain how hundreds of socks a year just vanish? Poof. Gone and never to be seen again. ”
