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“You’re gay?!”
Not that it’s of any importance right now, but I couldn’t keep the comment inside.
There are so many moving parts in this world that Sebastian’s sexuality is not something that needs to be delved into or made a concern.
“Yeah.”
Sebastian is suddenly an inch of himself. As if in me knowing his sexual orientation I’ll suddenly change every opinion I’ve ever had of him and how I’ll treat him.
“And you didn’t think I deserved to know?”
“Well, I don’t know.” He gives a curt shrug, unsure of himself for the first time in his entire life. “I wasn’t sure it was something that should be spoken about.”
“I thought I was like your brother?” I ask, kinking an eyebrow at him. “We told each other everything. Or at least I thought we did.”
“Look,” he starts, nervous energy bleeding from every pore on him. He stands, his demeanour rigid. “If this changes anything, I’ll...”
“It changes nothing.” My interjection stops him finishing that thought. “Not to me. I don’t give a fuck either way.”
“I just thought… you know… given the industry we work in, being gay wasn’t something we did.”
I feel my eyebrows pull tightly together, and I fix him with a scrutinising glance.
Sometimes I hate the life we grew up in. For a multitude of reasons, but right now, watching someone as loyal as Sebastian so full of concern and uncertainty, I really fucking hate it.
I vowed to make changes, and now I know I can.
“I don’t give a fuck what our industry says or doesn’t. In my family, in this business, I say it doesn’t matter.” I feel passionate about that. “You don’t just choose being gay, Seb. Fuck, you didn’t ask for this. It’s who you are. I’m just upset you felt you couldn’t tellme.”
Sebastian mulls over that for a second or two before he dissolves into sheer relief. “So, nothing’s changed?”
“No! Not between us.” I frown. “Is that why you never had a girlfriend? Or why you never even touched Talia? I thought you were just being loyal.”
He shrugs noncommittally. “When you know, you know.”
Everything makes sense now. Sebastian always reacted to female attention but never gave in to it. He was also able to be compassionate to Natalia for years in ways I never could, while also remaining loyal to me. All the tell-tale signs have been there for years, and I never thought to ask.
“So, nothing changes?”
“No.” I’m blunt on that. “There are way worse things you can be than homosexual.”
“This lineage we have is full of homophobes, though,” Andreas points out, as if this is a casual moment. “I’m really glad you might fly the flag in solidarity, but not all of us have that privilege. So, if my family is anything to go by, not everyone will be as accommodating.”
“I think it’s time your family grew up and evolved. I always did think you Giannottis were a bit backwards.” Suddenly, I realise something. “Is that how you ended up with Natalia?”
“Two lost souls,” he replies with a shrug.
“Talking of Natalia,” Sebastian starts. “What are you going to do about our runaway?”
“Runaway.” I snort. “She hasn’t gone far. I’ll find her in good time.”
But what am I going to do?
I vowed I would break her some other way than using women to make her jealous, but having seen her reaction to Andreas’s comment about pining for me, I can see that maybe that would be the straw that could break the camel’s back.
But I know Natalia.
If I use female attention to get a rise, Natalia will match it.
