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The accusation is like a hot dagger right through my heart—one I both expected and didn’t.
The pain that courses through me is debilitating, but I try to push it away. My coping mechanism comes in the form of shaking my head, not believing my father would do something like that to Natalia. I knew he disliked her. That’s what made her more attractive—the forbidden fruit—but she was his best friend’s daughter. She was off limits.
Natalia’s entire demeanour has changed. It’s like she’s letting her armour go, but with it, her demons are free to run amuck, and as her eyes darken, I realise she’s going to let them.
“He raped me, Beckett.”
The second hit isn’t any easier.
In fact, hearing that statement again seems to make it less true.
I continue to shake my head, muttering under my breath because…how can that be true?
How can someone like Natalia ever be overpowered in such a heinous way?
“No. You’re lying.”
That doesn’t seem to deter her. It seems to empower her.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s the truth. Alistair drove me to one of the family homes, telling me you’d meet me there. That wasn’t the case.” This time, she drags in a difficult breath. “Because you weren’t there. Alistair told me there was a change in plans.”
“I wasn’t going to make it…”
“Precisely, and at first, I thought it was weird, but that was fine. I thought I’d just come back here.”
“Let me guess. He wouldn’t let you leave?”
There’s a slight shake of her head, her hair moving with the motion. “At first, he kissed me, and I pushed him off. I thought that was it, but he changed. That darkness I always saw in his eyes suddenly became larger than life. It practically took him over. I tried to leave, Beck. I tried to get my phone to call you, but he caught me by surprise.”
Her eyes close for a second longer than they usually would as she relives something I’ll never know.
“He pinned me-”
“No,” I murmur, closing my eyes at the image of it.
I can’t bear the details.
Snapshots of them from the other night assault me, but this time it’s in technicolour. The force my father used. The response Natalia had when I found out. All of it is blinding me.
“He pinned me,” she continues, her voice wavering as she tries to remain stoic.
“Natalia…”
“No, you need to hear it!” she bellows, preventing me from going any closer. “He pinned me like I was some animal, and when I fought back, he didn’t like that.”
My eyes drift across the cut to her lip, the purpling on her cheek, and I realise that she could be reciting last night with my father.
“No, you see, when I fought back, he had to do something to stop me. That signet ring you all wear, it really does the job of leaving its mark. Just in case you ever wondered.”
I hadn’t, but suddenly the ring on my right hand feels too heavy to wear. I’d become so accustomed to the piece of jewellery, but now it feels like the metal is burning my skin. Something I took pride in as a sign of my place in life now feels villainous.
“It took a few hits for me to get quiet enough for him, though.” Now I can hear the real venom in her tone, the acridness almost intoxicating. “But you know, when I was silent enough, when he had that upper hand, he really went to town.”
She rolls her eyes, stilling her emotions so they don’t take her thunder.
“Do you know how it feels to have your clothes ripped from your body in that way, Beck?” She stops, only to chuckle mirthlessly. “No. Of course you don’t. Well, let me tell you…”
“Talia…”
