Page 129 of Paper Coffins


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“Fine, give me the short version, but I want to know.”

Meeting his gaze, I know he won’t give up that easily, so I give a small sigh and swallow hard on the lump in my throat.

“The long and short of it, Seb, is that Alistair raped me and took delight in telling me it was under Beckett’s orders. He also told me Beckett didn’t want a child with me. Told me he was there to make sure I got rid of it. I didn’t get much chance to argue before he decided to beat the baby out of me.”

Sebastian’s face pales.

“You ever find Vinnie, he’ll tell you the mess I was in.”

“For what it’s worth, I’d have killed him.”

The very idea of having Sebastian do such a thing while Beckett isn’t anywhere to be seen sends me toppling over the edge. I’m not even sure if having him here or having him believe me is what causes me to break the most, but when Sebastian catches me in his arms, it’s like a trigger switch. The feel of his arms around me and not Beckett’s is almost enough to burn my skin. I struggle to get away, but Sebastian fights. While his hold could be enough to set me back, I don’t see it as malevolent. He coos at me, trying to calm me without using any actual words.

My brain goes into overload, and I can’t stand it.

“No! You do not get to be here in place of him. You don’t get to catch me and not him!”

I push him, hard enough that he stumbles backwards, and we’re apart again.

“You don’t get to take his place!”

“I’m not, babe. I’m really not. I’m just the backup.” He issues a wry grin. The playfulness glistens in his eyes, but he maintains the gap. “That’s me, right?Wingman extraordinaire.”

I laugh but concede the point by rolling my eyes as I try to stop the torrent of tears. An insidious voice inside tells me not to accept the sensitive nature Sebastian’s offering. As much as I want it, I don’t feel worthy, so I use my tongue like a knife and act petulant in the face of a friend.

“To Beckett.”

“To you both,” he corrects me. “Nothing changes that.”

“I changed that.”

“No, sweetheart, you didn’t. Not by choice.”

His voice is a balm to mine. I’m near shouting, but he maintains a soft almost whisper.

“C’mon,” he says, reaching for my hand.

This time, I don’t resist and let him move me to the bed. We’re quiet for a few moments, sitting on the edge of the mattress, ruminating on the facts, sitting in its rubble. For the first time, it’s comfortable, and my entire body deflates in the presence of calm Sebastian brings.

“So, was it all a lie? The pretence you put on?”

I turn to look at Sebastian, who gives me a pointed look. I shake my head, a slow grin growing back on my face as I wipe away the last remnants of tears.

“No. I did want to burn the city down and take it back.”

“And are me and Beckett victims in this now?”

“Depends on Beck’s next moves.”

“Oh, believe me, you’re going to want to put your best face on.”

“Why?” I gasp, becoming tense all over again.

“He’s on a warpath, sweetheart.”

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