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This being able to kiss her.
Her being able to kiss me.
Feeling her body respond to mine, and hearing the way her breath caught.
When she pulled back, I felt a physical ache.
Her hands relaxed on my shoulders, until she dropped them slowly down my chest.
“Let’s watch your show,” she whispered. “And maybe...maybe we can revisit this after your...” She waved a hand in the air in a circle, “finale thing.”
“Maybe?” My arms loosened from the wrap, but I didn’t remove my hands from her. Instead, I slide them over the small of her back until my hands encased her hips. I held her in place as I thrust my own up gently. “I definitely think it will be revisited...”
With a sassy grin, Savannah removed herself from my lap. “You’re the one who agreed to taking it slow.”
“I may rescind that.”
Savannah laughed at that, and snuggled into my side. “Let’s do this thing, then. Get it over with.”
I picked my phone up from the mattress where it had fallen, and pulled Tony’s last message up again. “I’m a little scared with how they might have edited it. Don’t lose this warm feeling you have,” I warned.
When she was silent, I looked down to find her smiling softly. “I’m good. I trust you, Ryan. I know that sometimes it maybe doesn’t feel that way, and I know that my anxiety often has my mind a mess but...this was a good weekend. An even better twenty-four or so hours.”
Nodding, I pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, and settled in to watch the last day of my second biggest mistake.
Thankfully, the editing of my words wasn’t warped in a way that I was a total asshole. I never once used Savannah’s name, nor did I go as far as saying there was someone else, but I knew that—at least, by this point—Bella had seen my closed-room phone call to Mitch.
I may not have said another word about Savannah on camera, but the viewers knew.
I remembered the last day interviews.
I remembered the things said off camera, too.
The crew tried to get me to say something about my phone call the night before, but I stayed closed lipped. One, I’d been reeling over the fact that they asked about it—it was in those moments that I knew that my phone call had been picked up and recorded. I didn’t know that it was going to be used as footage though, and thought that if I didn’t bow to their questions during interviewing, then nothing would be said.
Oh, naïve little Ryan.
I should have known better, and truly, had I known...
Would I have answered their questions?
Would I have blasted my feelings for my best friend on national television, potentially risking her ever speaking to me again?
Honestly...
I didn’t think that I would have.
Hindsight being twenty-twenty, it would have been nice to have another bargaining chip with Savannah, to further prove to her that my feelings weren’t sudden or spur of the moment.
Not some sort of reaction to being away and near another woman with the prospect of forever in front of me.
But when Savannah rested even more into my side, and her hand found mine, I knew that I didn’t have a single thing to worry about.
