Page 5 of Lost Without You


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It was then that my eyes landed on the old, familiar backpack, and not only did my feet falter, but my heart did too.

I knew that backpack.

It had come along on a number of trips over the last ten years.

A trusty, old school JanSport with sewn on patches from different state parks we’d hiked.

Which only meant one thing.

Savannah was here.

She was here.

In Colorado Springs.

The sound of tires on gravel had me looking out the window and sure enough, a car came through the clearing. It obviously slowed upon seeing my rental.

Not wanting to delay the inevitable—and not wanting to scare the hell out of her—I went to greet my best friend out on the porch.

Her gaze met mine through the windshield and fuck if it didn’t hurt that she didn’t smile at seeing me.

Once upon a time, we were thick as thieves. She may have been two years younger than me, but from the day I saw her drawing nonsense with chalk on her driveway, she’d been my single constant.

Sure, there was my family, my friends, school...then college, and baseball.

God, baseball took up so much of my life.

Even now, coaching high school baseball, the sport was still a major part of who I was.

But never was anything greater than Savannah, whether she was pushing me away—three years ago or five months ago when I last saw her—or whatever it was she was doing by being here with me this weekend.

Not wanting things to be awkward, I moved down the steps toward her car, just as she opened the door.

“Hey, stranger,” I said lightly.

I watched a myriad of emotions cross her beautiful face, before she finally settled on a smile.

With her arms thrown out wide, she stepped close and I took the hug she was offering.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in the same jovial tone she used when she told me goodbye months ago, and I tried to ignore the kick in the gut I felt at the knowledge she hadn’t known I was here.

It was simply a coincidence.

I refrained from dropping my nose to her coconut-scented hair and instead, forced myself to step away from her embrace. “Hiding out for a few weeks. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to get away. Needed some quiet. Life...” She shook her head and smiled again—not that it was a true smile. It didn’t make the dimple just under her left eye pop. “It’s just been crazy, and I wanted to get away before I couldn’t anymore.”

“What do you mean, ‘couldn’t anymore’?”

She laughed and turned to open the back of the car. “Are you living fully off the grid, Ryan? Where have you been? There’s talk about stay-at-home orders in California.” My brows lifted. I knew that it was happening in other countries, but no, I hadn’t heard that my home state was considering the order. However, I also knew Savannah well enough to know she was clearly deflecting right now. “Speaking of off the grid,” she continued, “where were you when I got here?”

I watched as she reached in and pulled out the missing, but now clean and folded, bed linens. I reached for them to help, as I answered her. “I went to town for groceries and coffee. There’s a place that couldn’t care less that I’m there.”

This time, the smile she gave me was real. “Aw, is the celebrity life getting hard for you? You need to hide out? How far ahead is your life from the show airing, anyway?”

"I’ve been here for six weeks, but the finale is due to film on Monday, so I was going to head back to California then. And no, celebrity life isn’t hard, but I’m not supposed to be answering questions. So yes, I need to hide.”

Savannah bent further in the car and my eyes travelled down her long-sleeved cotton shirt on her back, to her ass in skin-tight denim. I shifted on my feet before taking a step back.

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