Page 54 of Navigating Lexie


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Lexie

Lexie’sbreathingwaserratic as she sat back down next to Sedona after her speech. She hadn’t intended to direct her speech at Nav, but that’s exactly what happened and part of her regretted it, but she also meant every single word. There was still so much left unsaid between the two of them and the anticipation of what could still be lingered in her mind as the night progressed.

As the dance floor became crowded and her Maid of Honor duties had officially been relieved for the night, Lexie took a step outside, letting the cool evening air wash over the sweat beading down her back. She pulled off her heels, looped them around her wrist, and stuck her sweaty feet into the sand. She walked out toward the water with her glass of wine and plopped down right by the water. She closed her eyes and listened as the water crashed against the shore in calming movements. The party behind her was fading as the door opened and closed letting smokers and others who needed a break from the sweaty room escape into the night.

She jumped as she felt the sand shift around her. Tossing open her eyes she turned to find Nav with his hands in his pockets standing a few feet from her. “Mind if I join you?” he asked.

She nodded and patted the sand next to her. Nav lowered himself down, placing his arms onto his knees and resting his head on his arm as he looked over at her. “You look absolutely stunning tonight, Lou.”

Her heart raced at the compliment. “Thanks, you do as well.”

He chuckled and turned to stare back out at the water. “Before you tell me to fuck off, I have to say a few things.”

She opened her mouth to protest, to explain she didn’t want him to leave but snapped it shut as he continued to speak.

“The week I spent with you in St. Thomas was the best week I have had in years. I was able to remember so much about our time together in college--some good and some bad. I was able to reflect on the massive mistakes I made, and I was able to allow myself to fall helplessly in love with you again. Actually,” he paused to laugh. “I never fell out of love with you, but that’s a whole other story. Anyway... I just want you to know that I broke up with Victoria when I returned home the day of Oliver’s funeral.”

She pulled her face towards his and loosened her shoulders. Oliver’s funeral? He was at the funeral? “You were at the funeral?” she asked, quietly.

“Yes. I stood off to the side so as not to disturb your moment, but I wanted to be there for you.” A realization hit her. The blanket. The blanket Eagle had wrapped around her shoulders was a blanket with the National Guard emblem on it. She hadn’t thought anything of it because they hand out freebies all the time and just assumed it was another recruiting tactic.

“The blanket,” was all she could muster up to say.

Nav shifted beside her and laughed. “Yes, I met up with Eagle a couple of nights before the funeral. I wasn’t intending to come and I just…I didn’t know if you’d have one and I asked him to make sure you got it if you needed it. I never got it back, so I guess I assumed you knew it was mine.”

She shook her head as a tear fell down her cheeks. A quiet moment. A quiet moment not even she knew about in which Nav professed his love to her.

“When I got home that night I just knew I needed to end things with Vi. I didn’t want to do it because you were suddenly single. In fact, our breakup, while precipitated by you, wasn’t because of you. I had no intention of ever pursuing anything with you again. I knew you moved on and I was so happy for you and then heartbroken for you at the same time. Anyway, I just need you to know that I wasn’t dating Victoria when I left for St. Thomas. In fact, we had broken up for several months. We remained in contact, which I’ll admit wasn’t my smartest move, but I made it clear on several occasions that we weren’t together...”

He dropped off and Lexie fully shifted her body toward his so she could look at him. Her dress was covered in sand and she didn’t care.

“I just don’t understand why she was at the airport?”

“To put it lightly? She’s crazy. She knew I was on vacation but I didn’t provide her with any of my flight details. I’m assuming she figured it out on her own or one of the other firemen told her. Regardless, she wasn’t invited to meet me there and I was just as shocked as you were to find her in the terminal. I promise with everything inside of me, Lou, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have done that to you. Everything I said on the island was true. I loved you–I still love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

“Why did you move to Otsego?” she asked, genuinely curious why he had made the move.

“Well, for one, Victoria’s antics just amped up after we got back to Etville. I rejected her at the airport and sent her home, alone. I had a friend pick me up and get me back to my apartment, but then she started to show up unannounced at my apartment, too, trying to break in. She started showing up at the fire station to try to catch me as I was leaving or during my downtime at the station. I contemplated filing a restraining order against her, but she threatened to make up some lavish lies to my commander. I just needed to get away from her, from everything. So I quit. I called Eagle and he reminded me Avanna’s loft was currently open so I moved in. Part of me knew things were over between you and me but another part of me wanted to be close by just in case you decided to give me another chance. Even if it was just as friends. Plus, other than Adam and Kennedy, my entire family is here, and while I was only technically a short distance away in Etville, I just wanted to be back in the town that I’ve loved my whole life.”

Lexie smiled and reached for Nav’s hand. He twisted it in hers and she shifted her body so they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. He released her hand and placed it around her shoulders as she nuzzled her head into Nav’s neck.

“I’ve thought a lot about you and us and who we were back then,” she paused. “At twenty-two, I felt like I needed a man who could loudly express his feelings for me. I wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to feel loved and I wanted the world to know. Oliver provided me with that manic, loud love that I was so desperately craving at that time. I thought because you wouldn’t put a label on what our relationship was for everyone to see that meant you didn’t care or love me the way I loved you. There might be some truth to that, but when I look back I see a man who loved me dearly when we were alone and even though I never saw it then, I can see the way you allowed your quiet love to envelop me in every moment.”

“Yeah, I was an asshole. I’ll admit that, but I hope you’ve come to learn that I’ve also grown as a person. I have no problem expressing my love outwardly, inwardly, quietly, loudly--whatever you need, baby, I’m here to make sure you get it.”

Lexie’s heart swelled as she felt Nav’s lips against the softness of her hair, pulling her closer to him in the process. Lexie allowed her mind to reflect on the journey it took to get back into Nav’s arms; relishing in the joy she felt with Oliver, the grief she still feels with his passing, and the hope of new possibilities with Nav by her side.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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