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Edie and Joe
Edie had painted an honest and factual picture of how her lovely gran had met her horrible grandad, a man she knew only by name and never wished to meet, even if he’d been alive. That was another story, though, for later. It was part of her mum’s history, and she was building up to all that, knowing it was only a matter of time before Joe asked who she was. And Edie couldn’t wait to tell him. For now, she concentrated on her gran and her real grandad who having listened to the backstory, had another question.
‘They weren’t happy then, Bobbie and Martin. I’m so sad about that. Please don’t tell me he hurt her.’
Edie couldn’t hold in the tut. ‘Of course he did, mentally and physically. Not at first, it was more of a drip, drip effect. He wanted her to stay at home, have no life beyond the walls of the flat and after my mum was born, they moved to a house and it became her prison. He wanted to own her, beat away the love she had for the father of her child who she wouldn’t name. You see, Gran never told him who you were, she lied, said it was a one-night stand and meant nothing. She knew Martin wouldn’t cope with who you were, the guy on Top of the Pops that women adored, who was earning more money than he could ever dream of while bringing up a daughter that wasn’t his.
‘What made everything a hundred times worse was when Gran couldn’t get pregnant, and it turned out to be his fault. She said that was what pushed him over the edge. He became really violent, towards Gran, and she saw him change towards my mum, going from a man who had been faking his affection to one who despised a little girl for just being born.
‘Despite his promises to love my mum unconditionally, he became bitter and jealous of a ghost. You. Control was all he had left, to make him feel more of a man I suppose. Home life was terrible and when Gran ended up in hospital it was the final straw. She left him when Mum was six and Gran found herself back to square one, like her mum before her. Single and with a child to bring up.
‘Martin moved away, went to live back up north in York and basically abandoned Mum and Gran. Luckily she kept the house when they divorced but had to work two jobs to make ends meet. Then, when the student loan system came in and everyone had the chance to go to university, she went back to education and got a degree, a better job and looked after Mum, then me, totally alone.’
On hearing this Joe turned away from the table and holding his hands on the top of his head began to pace the kitchen. Still, nobody spoke, it was like the two of them were on the stage, this scene was hers and Joe’s alone and the others formed the audience, captivated by the tale. Either that or they were too angry with Edie to speak. She hoped not, because she hadn’t wanted it to be like this.
In the scene she’d written in her mind, she was going to sit them down in a nice, controlled situation and sticking to the script, say calmly over coffee and brioche, This may come as a shock, but I have something to tell you. They would all have gasped and then run to wrap their arms around her, welcoming a new member to the family, forgiving her the subterfuge.
Then it hit her. She’d been as naïve as her grandmother, the one she was cross with earlier, the young woman who, just like her, had got it all badly wrong. There had been no hugs, no joyous reunion and as she looked around the table no sign of forgiveness either because Jenny, Lance and Ace had cast their eyes downwards, spinning silver rings or staring at the table, anywhere but at her. Are they annoyed, disgusted with me, or are they embarrassed by it all, or perhaps they are thinking of the good life they’ve lived while Gran struggled?
Not being blessed with the skills of mind-reading, she focused on Joe who had removed his hands, and even from behind she could see he was wiping his eyes before turning back towards the table.
‘Okay, I’m starting to piece it together but what I don’t get is why now? Why all this?’ His hand swept across the open books on the table, the centre pages showing his and Jenny’s Vegas wedding day and opposite his LA star-studded nuptials with Darlene.
‘How did you find out about me? And why didn’t Bobbie get in touch, once Martin was out of her life? I would have helped. Surely you know me well enough by now to see that, Edie. It doesn’t make sense why you’d go to these lengths, lie to Ace and us about who you really are.’
He didn’t sound annoyed, just confused and she got that because all of his questions were valid and it was hard to know where to start, so when a word popped into her head, she began with that.
‘Pride.’
Joe didn’t react, so she continued.
‘I’ll explain about my mum in a minute, but as for me and gran it was pride, simple as that. You’d let her down, so had Martin and she was on her own, but no way was she going to beg for help. She’d always been alone, more or less, and decided that she would keep her secret and bring Mum up by herself. Then, when my mum died she did the same again.
‘Gran told me honestly and in the kindest way possible what happened to my mum when I was nine, when she couldn’t bat off the questions anymore. And I think she’d realised that hiding the truth had been a mistake where Mum was concerned, and she didn’t want history to repeat. The thing was, she still couldn’t bring herself to tell me about you, she always blocked it out. She kept to the facts about Martin, your name remained a secret until I discovered something for myself.’
