Page 48 of Venus Was Her Name


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Joe immediately shut Lance down. ‘Leave it, Lance, now’s not the time.’ The tension in the room had raised a notch and Edie prayed that after everything that had passed, that there wouldn’t be a flare triggered by Joe berating Lance. It would have been so easy, for the eldest son to come out kicking, reject the new family member, regurgitate her mistakes, and paint her as sly, conniving, and untrustworthy. He also had to come to terms with the knowledge that he hadn’t been the firstborn and now the ghost of a dead daughter would linger, stepping into his shoes and, in a way, stealing his glory. When he pushed his chair back and excused himself, saying he needed the bathroom, Edie was glad to see him go.

Joe just tutted and released Edie from his grasp. ‘Just ignore him, he’ll get over it one year.’ He gave her a wink and then said words that were music to her ears, also receiving an Amen from Jenny who was wiping her eyes with kitchen roll. ‘I think we all need a drink and then, I’d like to hear all about my daughter. I want to know everything about her. I feel like she’s waiting to tell her story, like she’s here with us right now. Will you do that, Edie, tell us about her?’

Edie nodded, the irony of her misgivings about Lance brought to bear but he was low on her list of priorities and as Joe walked away, she turned to face Ace who was right at the top, underlined in red. Glad that the kitchen was huge and while glasses were brought and bottles pulled from the fridge, they were able to speak without being overheard.

‘I’m sorry, Ace… and before you say a word I want you to know that I wrote you a letter, it’s in there,’ she pointed to the book on the table, ‘in case it all went wrong or I bottled it, in case any of the stupid messed-up situations I’d created blew back in my face and you hated me…’

‘Edie, stop. I don’t hate you, not one bit…’

‘Ace, it’s okay to feel confused and annoyed with me, disappointed even. I honestly don’t know how I would have reacted if the roles were reversed, then again I’m not as good as you in any way, shape or form. Which makes what I’ve done even worse, to someone as lovely as you.

‘And it’s not weird. Us. Please don’t let Lance put that horrible idea in your head. It’s not like I’ve known you all my life, grown up with you in a family unit. You were a complete stranger, a man I met and fell for almost straight away and I hate even mentioning it, but we’re not blood related, so nobody has the right to say bad things about us. Yes, I did go over and over it in my mind, when I started having feelings for you, but I always came back to the fact, that we are two human beings who like each other. Simple.’

Ace looked down, then up again and into her eyes. ‘I’m not bothered about all that… it’s academic, biology and there’s none between us – but Lance is right, we won’t be able to stop people from talking and saying stuff. It’s human nature and it’s cruel.’ He shuffled, looked uncomfortable, spinning his rings, thinking. When he looked up, there was no anger in his words. ‘Part of me is mad with you. I can feel it inside like a ball of elastic bands that keep pinging, you know that awful pain when one twangs against your skin, and it makes me annoyed. Then I look at you and I remember I love you and I can’t be angry for long. You really have messed with my head, Edie.’

Edie felt so bad, and knew she had to explain to Ace in ways he’d understand. ‘You know that ball of elastic bands, well I have one too. It’s been getting bigger and bigger for years, pinging away every time I thought of Martin and my mum, and how sad Gran was, making me madder and madder until I just had to do something to make it stop. I didn’t know how to untangle it, like you do, sort stuff out in your head, so everything got worse. I wanted to run away, but if I did I’d lose you and I couldn’t bear to leave you behind.’

Ace nodded. ‘There was a point in all that, when you were explaining, I just wanted to run too. Not hear it. I imagined escaping over the fields and Pierre and his pack of dogs chasing me. I don’t know how I managed to make my legs do as they were told and stay sitting because it was like looking at a stranger. I had to stay, to listen and get to the truth.’

‘Do you still feel like that? That I’m a stranger.’

He nodded. ‘In a way, yes. It’s like you’re a new Edie, not the one I thought you were. Then when I think of the day we met in London, or when we’re laughing at something stupid, or when it’s just me and you, private things, I know that all that was real. I believe it was, is.’

‘Oh, Ace, I swear it is, all of it.’ That had really hurt, that she had caused him such doubt. He might as well have slapped her, but in a way, he’d been slapped the hardest and that was cruel. Standing there looking at his face etched with confusion, she absolutely hated herself.

Ace had more to say. ‘And I’m mad at you too. For keeping it all inside and not trusting me enough to let me in. Oh, and for making my head feel like it was full of electric cables just now, so bad I thought it would fry from the inside out. You know how hard it was to untangle it all and find a box for everything… I think I ran out of colours.’

And then he smiled. ‘But it’s out of my system, I think. I do feel better for saying all that, like you must have felt when you told us the truth.’ And then he pulled her close and kissed her forehead as she imagined him frantically throwing boxes around in his mind, lining them all up and putting each part of her story inside.

‘Oh God, I’m sorry, Ace. If I said it a trillion times it wouldn’t be enough to show you how much. And I promise to buy you some new imaginary boxes, in all the rainbow colours, and gold and silver too.’ She chanced a smile.

Ace scrunched one eye, looked at the ceiling and made a ‘mmm’ sound and pretended to think a while. ‘Okay, on one condition.’

‘Oh-oh, what’s that?’ She could feel the mood had lifted, his body was no longer tense, his face relaxed.

‘That you don’t ever call me Uncle Ace. Moody boy is right, Dad’s Wiki page is going to be a fun read soon.’ He was laughing, even though Uncle Ace sounded very weird and a bit wrong.

Edie’s eye’s widened at the thought. ‘Oh my God. Please don’t ever say that again, it fries my brain too. And I’ll stick to calling him Joe for that very reason. But seriously, swear that we are okay and if there’s anything you want to ask me, go ahead. Don’t hold it in and overthink it like I did. We can work through it together.’

Ace nodded. ‘Okay, I promise. And you know something, it’s as simple as this.’

‘What?’ Edie held him close.

‘Remember that day I brought you here, and we stopped on the cliff, well I get it now, why you said what you did, about things being simple and not wasting time. So, let’s do that. Start at the beginning.’

A bubble of happy, of love, of pure relief escaped into a giggle because Edie knew exactly what Ace was getting at. ‘Okay. I’ll go first.’

She coughed, the way people do before making a big speech. ‘Ace Jarrett, do you like me? Because I really like you and I want to be your girlfriend.’

Ace smiled and mimicked her cough. ‘I’m so glad you said that because I like you too, Edie Lowe. And I’d love to be your boyfriend.’

It was a special moment, one that Edie could never have rehearsed and as they kissed, not caring who saw, something told her that if they stayed true to the rules and each other, they would be okay. Keeping it simple and not wasting one second.

Another dramatic cough caused them both to turn and there stood Jenny, hands on hips, doing the worst ‘cross’ expression ever. ‘Well, it looks like I’m the only one who missed out on a proper hug, and I have to say that ain’t fair.’

Letting go of Ace, Edie took two steps and found herself being almost smothered by Jenny who whispered into her hair, ‘I get it now, what you wanted to tell me earlier and I would have understood, I promise. And I’m always here, or somewhere if ever you need me. Please remember that.’

Once she’d been released from Jenny’s grasp, Edie, wobbly-lipped and teary, promised she would and then, overwhelmed by it all, took a seat at the table as Lance sloped into the room and sat. Positioning herself in front of her book, she pulled it closer then poured a glass of water while Ace took the chair by her side. Never had what came out of a tap tasted so good and then the look on Joe’s face as he approached the table reminded her there was more to say. The final part of the story.

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