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With a long, drawn-out sigh, I turned my car off and slid out right as Trent stepped out onto the porch, a cold beer in his hand. He nodded once at me before saying something quietly to Jacob. Jacob threw a dirty look in my direction before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Bailey’s forehead and got up, following Trent inside the house.
I walked up to Bailey, my hands stuffed in the pockets of my jeans. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have on a hoodie. I’d kept my word to her.
I hadn’t cut anymore. All my cuts were healed and now just white marks littering the inside of my forearms.
She and I had a deal, and I was determined to uphold my end of the bargain, especially after all the shit I had put her through.
“Hey,” I said softly. She looked up at me, her eyes dull, lacking that life I needed from her. This girl had saved me in more ways than one, and I was determined to save her, too. Fuck, she wouldn’t even need saving if it weren’t for me.
She stood up from the porch. She was wearing a hoodie, something that wasn’t normal for her—not when she was out of school. I frowned, a bad feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. I shoved it aside. I would cross that bridge with her when I got to it. For the time being, I just needed to work on fixing my fuck-up.
We walked silently down to the dock, and after we kicked our shoes off, we sat down, letting our feet dangle over the edge. She was silent, staring out over the dark, murky water.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. She slowly turned her head to face me. I blew out a soft breath, not letting my eyes leave hers. “I’m really fucking sorry. I was terrified—fucking shocked. All I could picture was turning out to be the same dick that my own dad turned out to be and—fuck, Bailey, I panicked, and I ran away.”
She frowned, her eyes running over my face. I reached up and brushed some of her hair behind her ear. I noticed she swayed towards me slightly, seeking out more of my touch, and my heart squeezed in my chest. Not wanting to deny her, I cupped her jaw, brushing my thumb over her cheek.
She relaxed. My heart clenched in my chest.
“I’m not walking away from you, Bailey, even if you are with my brother. I’m going to be here for you.” Tears made her pretty eyes glisten, breaking my heart. “I’m sorry for walking away—so fucking sorry. You have no idea how much of a dick I feel like.” I brought my other hand up so I was cupping her face, keeping her eyes locked with mine. “Please let me back in, Bailey. I swear to you, I won’t make the same mistakes. I’m going to do this right this time around.”
“It hurts,” she whispered.
My soul screamed in agony for her. I was so fucking in love with her, and she had no fucking idea. We had originally started out as a deal—nothing more. But somewhere along the way, I fell head over fucking heels for her.
And I wouldn’t have it any other fucking way.
I loved this girl with every fiber of my being, and I would wait on her—no matter how long it took.
“I know it hurts, baby,” I said softly, the term of endearment slipping past my lips before I could stop it.
Tears slid down her cheeks, wetting my hands. I didn’t let go. I’d never fucking let her go again. She sobbed. “I want the pain to stop. I’m tired of feeling like this, Seth. I want—I want—”
She fell into my chest, sobs wracking her body before she could complete her sentence. I pulled her legs across my lap and held her tightly, rocking her back and forth as I did so. She wailed, the sounds tearing my fucking soul apart, but I continued to hold her.
And when her sleeve on her hoodie fell back, that was when I saw it.
She was cutting herself.
“No, baby,” I rasped, grabbing her wrist in my hand. My eyes searched hers, wishing this was a fucking joke. “Baby, you didn’t.”
“I wanted it to stop hurting so much,” she whimpered.
I pressed my lips to her healing wound, wishing I could suck all of her pain inside myself. Then, I wrapped my arm back around her, holding her again. “I’m here, baby. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere—never again,” I swore.
She clutched my shirt in her hands, continuing to cry. And I continued to hold her.
* * *
Trent openedthe front door for me. He’d obviously been watching because as soon as I began ascending the steps with Bailey in my arms, he was there waiting.
“Let me put her to bed,” I whispered, knowing Trent wanted to talk to me.
Trent brushed his sister’s hair out of her face. She was asleep, soft snores leaving her lips. I’d held her until she cried to the point she had no more tears to shed. And then, I continued holding her until her breathing had evened out and she had passed out in my arms.
I nodded once in greeting to her mom and dad before I ascended the stairs to her room. Once I laid her on the bed, I covered her up, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before quietly leaving the room, shutting her door behind me.
Trent met me in the hallway. “She hasn’t slept that soundly since . . .” his voice trailed off.
