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I refused to call him my father any longer. He’d lost that right when he’d nearly killed me and had ruined my life.
“What can he give them?”
“Well, he wants me and Papa. His pack back or maybe yours instead, since it’s doing so well now. Omegas?”
“Your papa? I thought that he –?”
Fuck. It was time to admit the truth. “His death was faked and Rincoln knows he’s alive. It’s part of the reason he keeps looking for me. He thinks I’ll bring Papa to him.”
He thought about this for a while as we pushed our food around our plates. Neither having much of an appetite left.
Blake paled as something seemed to occur to him. “He’s offering them mates, isn’t he? A return to my father’s ways. When the bondings happened, it was only because the women felt they had no choice and consented.”
Goosebumps prickled along the exposed skin of my arms. The hairs on the back of my neck rose. “Yeah, I think he wouldn’t hesitate to take over if he thought it would be beneficial to him. If anything, I think he’d see your pack as weak.” I worked to be tactful. “The change in styles of leadership leaves you open to attack from the old guard. Plus, no offense, but you’re young and haven’t been alpha long”
“No, you have a point.” Blake agreed readily, pointing his fork my way. “About the old guard, though, half of those were banished.” He pointed out. I loved that he didn’t discount my opinion or experience of Rincoln. We were discussing the issue like equals.
“Yeah, but the right half? What about those that were younger and came into roles after? Were they influenced by their parents? This could be about revenge.”
“You are full of good points. The Luna gave me a smart mate,” he paused, “sorry, I’m bringing the mood down. Can we just enjoy our date and worry about that stuff tomorrow?”
“Of course.” I replied easily.
“The talisman is working. Shame, though, I love your scent.” Blake gave me a shy smile, his eyes more silver in the low light of the restaurant. His dark hair flopped over his forehead and I longed to move it out of his eyes. It was as dark and soft as raven feathers, just made for touching. The Luna had picked well.
Blake was only a couple of inches taller than my five-ten height, so he didn’t loom over me. He was lean rather than bulky, like most alphas, like Roan, my mind supplied.
His face was so interesting with his sharp nose and pouty red lips. I could look at him forever and still see something new.
He reached for my hand and I let him grasp it lightly, feeling a jolt as we touched. My wolf roused again at our mate’s proximity and I gave a wide smile.
“What?” Blake asked, tilting his head in a very wolf-like gesture.
“My wolf likes you, too.” I replied, rubbing a thumb over the back of his hand.
“You can feel them?”
“It moves when you’re close. It’s still sleeping, but it notices you’re near.”
“Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer.”
“What is it?” I asked cautiously.
“Why do you call your wolf it? All the omegas I know are female so their wolves are she, but the male omegas I’ve read about call their wolves they. Because they are both male and female.”
That brought me up short. I couldn’t remember when I’d started referring to my wolf as it. Papa had called his alter it too, so I guess that I’d never really thought about it. Our former pack had conditioned us to see our shifter aspect as separate from us. As other. An it rather than a thinking, feeling, being that was a part of our souls.
The Hayes pack comprised various types of shifters. Rincoln happened to be a wolf, so had Roan, but Jasper, my papa, was a fox shifter. Children usually took the alter of their alpha parent with about one in four taking after the omega. Angelica was a fox like Papa, another strike against her. Though I think that Rincoln would have accepted her being a fox if she had been an omega like he’d wished for.
I realized Blake was waiting for me to say something, anything, to cover this silence that had stretched between us. “Uh, well, it’s habit. From my former pack. But you’re right, I shouldn’t.”
“You don’t have to do anything, I just wondered.” Blake interjected.
“Maybe if I treated my wolf better, then I wouldn’t be in this situation.” I began to feel nauseous. This was all my fault. I’d harmed my wolf with my lack of care. I hardly ever shifted. Didn’t take part in full moon gatherings. Kept away from people so we were touch starved. “I, uh, I don’t feel very well. Could you take me home, please?”
Blake studied me for a second. “Of course. I’ll just pay for this.”
“I can pay.” It was a struggle to get the words out. I just wanted to be alone.
