Page 19 of Fallen


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I open my eyes only to realize it was just a flashback. Jhanvi isn’t here with us. The TV is still on whereas the movie has got over long back and Aarvi fell asleep on my lap. This was the same movie I couldn’t take her out the other time and though my baby had forgiven me immediately the next morning on my apology, I’d made sure to take a day off and spent it with my wife and daughter. What happy days those were. For a lone man like me who always yearned for a family, God gave one when I married Jhanvi and sorted my differences with my grandmother too, but they say life is too short and unpredictable. That happiness of having a family was short-lived too.

I turn off the TV and carry Aarvi back to my room and sleep next to her. Though she is habituated to sleeping in her room, at times like his when she misses her mother and I miss my wife, we prefer to stay close. That’s the only way we both could survive.Without my Jaan.

CHAPTER 9

Khushi

Sleep is all I needed last night but I couldn’t. The way Aarav Raichand threatened me that once he finds the proof that I am his wife, Jhanvi, I would have to be by his side, has given me a worse headache. Why does he even think I can be Jhanvi? Only because we share the same face? Or is he doing this just to mess with my mind and divert me from our business rivalry? Aarav doesn't seem to be a man who would use a woman in his mind games, or am I not seeing this correctly?

It is so strange that I should be thinking about Rudra and the wayhebehaved with me yesterday instead of focusing on Aarav Raichand but I simply cannot take my head off the latter’s thoughts. It is just not his words that have created that effect in me, his touch is equally responsible for this. The way Aarav sees me, touches me as if he has every right on me has already blown my mind.His touch has been engraved into every part of me and refuses to be forgotten. Aarav Raichand is an enigmatic, powerful sensation that always lingers around me, flipping my pulse into an erratic beat.

The door knocks and Rudra enters inside my bedroom. He looks better and in check of his anger, unlike yesterday. I ignore him and continue packing my stuff in the bag. I’m leaving early for work as I have some intel on AR Group’s next tender quotes for a software project which might help RS Group to quote less and win the deal. He brings me the prasad like every other morning and I don’t decline it. I quickly take it from him, eat and continue the packing.

“I’m sorry, Khushi.”

Though I hear Rudra’s apology it doesn't touch my heart so I continue ignoring him.

“I said something Khushi.”

“And I heard it. Anything else? I’m getting late for work.”

I grab my purse and laptop and stare at him to move away so I can walk out as he has blocked my way.

“Why are you so annoyed? I had every right to warn you to stay away from a stranger who claims you to be his dead wife. Any other man in my place would do the same.”

I know what he means and maybe he is right too but why am I not moved by his apology?

“I don’t want to lose you, Khushi.” He cups my face. “I love you.”

Rudra rarely says these three magical words to me, not that I crave to hear them more often. I think I have lost a part of my heart and the emotions that come with it ever since that fateful night.

“Are you listening to me? What is going on in your head? These days you seem to be lost and becoming cold towards me.”

I shake my head in disagreement.

“Work stress. That’s it.” I move his arm away from my face. “I’ve to go. See you at the office.”

I am about to leave when Rudra holds my wrist to stop me again.

“It’s enough, Khushi. Enough of running away from me. For two years you have been focusing only on the company. Our relationship is paused. I don’t remember we even going out together as a couple to spend time with each other anymore.”

He is right. We don’t. I’ve been too much involved in work avoiding reality and most importantly avoiding the man whom I am dating for the past six years.

“I know you told me you are willing to take this ahead after we finish our present work in India but I don’t think I can wait that long. At least, let’s go out and spend some time.”

“I don’t think that’s…” I retort, but he cups my face again and this time a little rougher than before.

“No excuses. I am taking you for dinner tonight. Just a dinner. Please don’t deny.”

Dinner sounds good.Justa dinner sounds even excellent.

“Okay,” I nod. “Dinner then.”

“Cool.”

He places a kiss on my forehead and I feel nothing. It’s wrong. So damn wrong that the feelings I get from an unknown man burns my body for days whereas when my boyfriend Rudra kisses me, I don’t feel a thing. What the heck is happening to me? This mere guilt makes me pull away from him and scoot back to the door on the pretense of getting late. Thankfully, Rudra doesn't stop me this time. Wish I had someone with whom I could share my feelings and turmoil. I know Sakshi is there but I don’t feel that connection with her anymore ever since that fateful night again. Why did something so worse happen to me that night? Despite having everything and everyone around me, I feel so lonely and no less than a stranger between the people whom I have known for so long years. Why?

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