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It’s a sight to behold. Seeing Aarvi in my wife’s arms. Daadi meets her too and just as I had expected, none of my family members tries to put her in an uncomfortable zone. They have been warned by me not to force her with past information yet. She has to willingly accept this life with me, but if not, I’ll still make sure she does at some point.
The cake is brought and everyone assembles around the table to watch Amaya cut the cake. I make my way towards Khushi who is still carrying Aarvi in her arms.
As soon as I approach her, she has the reply to my unasked question already on her tongue.
“I don’t know why I am here, so don’t even ask.”
I am about to respond when Aarvi pulls her face to meet her eyes.
“Mommy, I missed you. Why didn’t you come to me before?”
Khushi is clueless about what to respond and I don’t want Aarvi to scare her with more questions like this, so I intervene.
“Aarvi, you are heavy, baby. Come to daddy, I will carry you in my arms.”
“No,” she snuggles closer to Khushi. “I want to be with Mommy.”
That’s sweet to hear but I am afraid this is not going to end well for tonight. Coming to this party, and before Aarvi, Khushi has unnecessarily given hopes to our daughter and I won’t like it if she breaks it later.
“It’s fine. Let her be with me for some time.” Khushi reads my worry. “Umm, can you also dial John from my phone?”
She hands me her mobile as she can’t dial it herself considering she’s holding Aarvi still. John is her driver and probably the man who drove her here tonight. I don’t ask more questions and dial John. The moment he answers, I press the phone to Khushi’s ears, admiring her as she talks. Even Khushi is well aware my eyes are on her face, observing all of her expressions.
“John, please bring the gifts inside,” she instructs before asking me to disconnect.
“Mommy, what have you got for me?”
Khushi looks a bit nervous as Aarvi keeps calling herMommyand this is exactly what I meant. I don’t want her to feel pressured around the family. But she puts on a smile and kisses Aarvi’s cheek.
“Something you’ll like.”
John reaches us with a huge pink teddy bear and my heart literally skips a beat. She bought a teddy for Aarvi? Does he remember her fondness for teddies?
“Teddy??” Aarvi quickly takes one from John and hugs it. “Daddy see Mommy got me a teddy.”
“Yea baby. Yours and Mommy’s love for teddies can never fade. It only increases with time.”
Khushi stares at me with her jaw dropped. I deliberately said that to remind her that she has unknowingly gifted something which Jhanvi would give to our daughter and that’s because she is Jhanvi. Only she has to accept it now. Enough of running.
The cake is cut and everyone sings birthday songs. Aarvi and Khushi too. They both sing the song with smiles and giggles and I can’t take my eyes off them. When Jaya feeds Aarvi the birthday cake, she also feeds it to Khushi and then gives her a quick hug. She is already struggling in that scene with her emotions and every single minute her eyes land on me as if searching for some hints that no matter how much she ignores, we are still her family. We’ll always be.
CHAPTER 21
Khushi
I don’t know what I am doing at this birthday party when I should have been with Rudra instead, attending his friend’s engagement party. But today evening when I was dressing up for that party, the thoughts of Aarav, Aarvi, Jaya and Daadi filled my head. The sudden urge to see them again, to spend some time with them and to be a part of their world surged in in every vein of my body and I couldn’t decline it. So, I messaged Rudra that I would come to his friend’s party an hour later so as not to waste time coming home to pick me up. And then I asked John to drive me to the best toy shop around where I picked this teddy for Aarvi and a small soft toy for Amaya which the baby hasn’t left touching and playing with. I’d heard Aarvi speaking to Aarav the other day on call and asking him if she could gift Teddy to Amaya. Something that time convinced me that Aarvi was fond of teddies. I too am, though I don’t remember buying one in the last two years. But now when Aarav openly mentioned that Jhanvi too was fond of such teddies, I can relate to why I am so attracted to them. The moment I had landed in that toy store, I just went straight to the teddies section and had picked almost ten teddies of different sizes but since I only needed to buy one, I zeroed on this pink teddy. Somehow, I just knew Aarvi would love it.
Nonetheless, I never analyzed what the consequences would be of coming here and meeting everyone, especially Aarvi because according to her, I am her mother who she didn’t see for the past two years. I didn’t want to give any hope to the baby, but I couldn’t resist coming here and being a part of them.
Now with Aarvi glued to my arms, my heart accelerates with the possibility that if I am really Jhanvi, Aarvi is my daughter whom I am fondly holding in my arms for the past an hour and she deserves all the love and pampering from me. I already have many reasons to feel that pull intensifying between me and Aarvi since the moment I have held her. When Aarvi came running into my arms, when she saw me, my heart was in my throat. She has Aarav’s eyes but her smile is ditto mine. She’s the stark replica of Aarav in her attitude but she has my innocence and strength, both. What startled me the most is I comforted her cries repeating to her I am back. Her Mommy is back. And in turn, Aarvi wanted me to promise I wouldn’t go missing from her life again. I hadn’t thought about this yet and it wasn’t the ideal situation to commit anything to this little girl without finding the answers to my past.
I had promised to leave this party and attend the one where Rudra is in an hour but, with Aarvi dozing in my arms, I don’t think I would want to go anywhere. Rudra is calling on my phone continuously, and I know it’s wrong to keep him waiting there. So, I quickly sit on the couch, with Aarvi still clinging to me and type a message back to Rudra that I might not come to the party at all. He queries back my sudden denial and I only tell him I am out.
By the end of the birthday party, Aarvi sleeps in my arms and every time Aarav tries to take her from me, she cuddles me tight again, waking up. We don’t want her to cry more as she has already shed enough tears seeing me tonight. I’m confused about how to take care of this situation when Aarav suggests something even more difficult to accept.
“Drive home with us. Once we put her to bed, you can leave.”
Home? His home? Though a part of me fears entering his den, the other me is urging me to take this leap. If I’m his wife, that place could trigger some of our past memories. And even if it didn’t, I don’t want to miss checking out that place where Aarav, Jhanvi and Aarvi led a life as a family together.
