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Aarav gazes at the stars, with his hands in pant pockets. His silhouette under the open sky, with the moonlight falling on him, is enough to redefine the term handsome in the English dictionary. I don’t think there is any word out there that can define him precisely. He’s everything a woman like me always craved for and he is mine. Though I want to take pride in that truth, a strong part of my heart knows he can be my weakness. I might have given him my everything in the years of our togetherness but now without those memories, I am afraid to give it again. Trust is a factor that has always dissuaded me.
“Ignoring me is not going to change my mind, Aarav.”
As if my voice irks him, Aarav tries to walk away from the scene, but this time I grab his wrist and force him to stay right there.
“Is this how you behaved before, when I had to speak to you? Making me chase you? Run behind you for your time?”
He shoves my arm like even my touch irritates him.
“Is my answer going to change your mind, Jhanvi?” His words come out in a harsh whisper, turning me speechless. “If not, then you don’t deserve to know what we had, because the woman I love is anything but the one standing before me tonight.”
Guilt and fear ran through my veins.
“My Jhanvi believed in keeping the family together, not breaking them and she definitely wouldn’t break her daughter’s heart like you have plans to after flying back to New York.”
“I need time, Aarav. All this is racing too fast in my life. First, I was told I’m Khushi and it took me months to start living like her. Now all of a sudden, I get to know I am Jhanvi. The man I trusted so far is no idea hiding where after breaking my trust. And the man I am yet to take as my husband is suddenly caging me with his possessiveness. I’m done with your stalking, commanding and not letting me do things as per my choice. I need time to ascertain this is what I want. All I am asking from you is time to let me process this.”
Anger courses through him.
“When you woke up from the accident Jhanvi, I agree you were blank as a clean slate. You neither had Khushi's memory nor Jhanvi's. But later you accepted that identity as Khushi even though you didn't have any memories of her. You believed Rudra, his father & Khushi’s friend Sakshi. But now when you know your real identity and also have evidence, what’s stopping you from taking a leap of faith & accepting it?”
“You don’t understand. It’s not easy to take this leap of faith again. Why don’t you be a little considerate instead?” I bark.
He grips my arms, drawing me to his chest.
“I’m being considerate, Jhanvi. You need time, I understand. Stay here and take as much time as you need. No one is stopping you.”
He still doesn't get my point, does he?
“I can’t stay here. Your family and the situations that demand me to be Jhanvi all the time will overcrowd my brain. I won’t be able to think well amidst all these.”
He clenches his jaw, trying hard to stay in control.
“Fine. Let’s go to the US together then. You, me and Aarvi. Aman will manage the work here and I can remotely handle my business from the location you want to work from. I don’t care anymore even if you want to continue your role in RS Group and try taking over my Company. We can be partners and still fight over Business. I don’t mind.”
“God, Aarav… Stop being so clingy.”
I push him away and he throws a stern look at me.
“Why the hell don’t you understand? I need to stay away fromyouas well. Why do you want to shift your plans? Or is it that you don’t trust me? You don’t trust me I’ll make a decision favorable for us if I choose to put a distance between us temporarily? To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if you keep a watch on me even there. You’ve done that before. You can stalk me and…”
“I’ll stalk you no matter where you stay, Jhanvi, because I don’t want to lose you again. You want to put distance between us might be easy for you but not for me. Do you realize I’ve lived without you for two long years? How can you expect me to stay for even a second more without you around? I’d gone insane the last time you left me, if you do that again, I won’t survive this time.”
“Aarav stop… please…” I shout. Why does he have to take things so extremely?
I press my forehead, looking away, letting tears wash my face. This argument is never going to end. Aarav punches his fist on the wall, scaring me once again with his rage. All his emotions are so extreme that they scare me. After a long silence, he turns in my direction.
“You hate my possessiveness and dislike when I try to overprotect you but that’s never going to change Jhanvi. You want some distance between us, I’ll let you have that too until you are ready to accept yourself as Jhanvi and realize that you belong to me. But I can’t let you walk away from me. You’ll have to stay with us under the same roof. What you are suggesting is an act of shrugging your responsibilities and running away and I can’t bear that. You aren’t even ready to give me some respite by saying that you’ll return someday to me.”
“Because it’s the biggest decision of my life, Aarav.”
“Biggest decision?” He mockingly laughs at me. “You never loved Rudra but were ready to marry him. Where were your capabilities of taking the right decisions at that time? You were so delusional, Jhanvi!!”
I can’t win this argument; I know that already. Aarav is so prepared that I can see myself losing bitterly.
“If not love I know you are at least attracted to me and emotionally invested towards Aarvi. It’s only due to your self-created inhibitions that you aren’t ready to accept any of it and that makes you a coward, Jhanvi. At least you should consider Aarvi's selfless love for you if not mine and stay back.”
I am almost on the verge of giving up for Aarvi though I don’t want to. I want to fight this and make him understand why it is important for me to have my space.
