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Aarav cups my face.
“I've also consulted one of the best neurologists in the world and he has suggested that if you stay with the family, with Aarvi & me in our house then the chances of you getting back your memories at the earliest are maximum. So, if not for Aarvi & me, at least stay here to get your memories back so that you don't have to juggle between Khushi & Jhanvi's emotions anymore.”
Did he consult a neurologist? When? Why didn’t he tell me? It’s a good effort but he could have told me. I grip his wrists and force him to take off his palms from my face. I am done. I can’t explain him more than this because he has answers to everything I debate.
As if he reads my decision, Aarav exhales audibly, giving up his attempts to stop me.
“Is that your final decision then?”
“Yes,” I instantly reply.
He takes another minute to process it, and meanwhile, I feel that unfamiliar swelling in my chest threatening to consume me. I sense he is going to come up with a dangerous solution to this problem and I am not prepared. My heart is in my throat when he finally speaks.
“You want to leave, then you are free to leave whenever you want to, Jhanvi Raichand. Just one thing though,” he says, stepping closer. “Cut off every ties this time you leave, so that I don’t keep sulking in your absence. I’ve no patience and energy left to keep hoping you would return to me someday.”
I don’t understand what he means by that, so I just keep staring at his face.
“Sign the divorce petition before you leave. And yes, once that’s done, I don’t want you to have any contact with me or Aarvi anymore. Not even if your memories return in future. Just don’t come back this time. Go wherever you have to..Forever.”
“What?” Words fail to come out of my mouth. Did he really say that?
“You heard it right. If you walk out this time, you end every link connecting us and that means you’ll not have any rights on Aarvi either.”
My bubble of anger bursts by the time he finishes. Without a thought, I clutch his shirt collar in anger.
“Have you lost your mind, Aarav? Do you know what you are asking from me? You can’t deprive me of my rights on Aarvi. She is my daughter too.”
He doesn't say a word, just withdraws his hands from my grip.
“You heard it, Jhanvi. I don’t think you are losing much as your solo life is so important to you. Take your time to think and let me know whenever you are ready. I’ll ask my lawyer to proceed.”
I am so annoyed by him that I almost burst into tears. He looks blankly at the stars again in the open sky.
“You always told me these stars and the moon are the witness of our unwavering love for each other and hence they shine brighter. But today they are the witnesses to our separation which has definitely dampened their lights too.”
I don’t recall telling him this but I feel his pain. He’s in tears too and I know he wouldn’t let me see them. The next moment, Aarav turns to the terrace door to walk away.
“Aarav don’t do this-” I literally beg, but that doesn't stop him from leaving. The moment he is gone, I draw my palm over my mouth. How can Aarav be that cruel? I wasn’t asking for a permanent distance from him yet. And by proposing a divorce that too where I’ll never have rights on both Aarav and Aarvi, he’s given me the most intense flesh-tearing pain.
I sit there on the terrace for no idea how long before returning to the bedroom but he is not here nor do I wait for him. Aarav has given me enough pointers to think over tonight. It’s hard to believe that he would propose a divorce when I know how much he loves Jhanvi.Me.He is just testing me this time. This is his masterstroke to keep me glued to him. And the clause of not having any rights on Aarvi proves it. If he thinks I am going to believe he can keep me away from him and Aarvi forever, he is wrong. I might not have memories but I am capable enough to sense how much I matter to him. He won’t let me walk out of his life ever.
I sleep next to Aarvi who instantly cuddles me and I pat her to sleep again. For no idea how long, I keep staring at her angelic face. If I fly to New York, what will happen to Aarvi? I can’t let her fall sick again because of missing me. And just in case even if I manage to have her by my side forever, despite taking the decision of putting some distance between me and Aarav temporarily, will I ever be able to stay without having him around me? It’s been only a few hours and I am already missing Aarav’s touch, his presence and his arms around my body like he did when we slept together a few days back. Am I really prepared to lose all this?
****************
I didn’t realize when I slept last night but one thing is confirmed. Aarav didn’t return to the bedroom. He slept in some other room and that pricks me. He might have done so to prove he is serious about his decision, but I am not going to let it affect me. It’s morning already and the doorknob twists. I know it’s him. Aarav must have come to check on us. So, I pretend to be asleep and keep cuddling Aarvi. It’s only after he opens the door that I query myself why am I so desperate for his attention? Will he even give me any after last night’s confrontation? Of course, he will. He loves Jhanvi.Me. My heart flips a beat as I feel the edge of the bed dipping. He’s close, I can sense him. I try not to move but I can’t control my erratic breathing when I feel his fingers brushing over my arm. He isn’t touching me yet, just closer to my body and the mere thought of it urges me to clench my thighs together. I hope he can’t see that gesture of my legs as the duvet covers my lower body decently. Another slight stroke of his arm across my skin and I open my eyes to face him. He is sitting next to me on the bed, but his eyes are fixed on Aarvi whose cheeks he is stroking lovingly and in that process his arm brushes with mine. Means he isn’t here for me but our daughter? Huh!!
He is well aware I am awake now and staring at his face yet he pretends to be oblivious of my gaze and continues admiring only Aarvi. No woman can be jealous of her daughter then why am I feeling this utmost heat in my nostrils. The silly me wants to grab his arm and force him to stroke my cheeks the same way. I can’t be that demanding and pushy. Not when I know what can happen if I do that? If I bend this time, he’ll snatch my independence, and my rights to make decisions for my own good. He’ll demand me to trust his instincts. He’ll cage me in his protective web and I’m not prepared for any of that. At least not yet.
Without even glancing at me, Aarav gets up from the bed and heads for the shower while I stare at his retreating back in disbelief. He is deadly ignoring me now. Well!! Let’s see how far he goes with that?
CHAPTER 27
Jhanvi
I underestimated Aarav Raichand. It’s been two days and he is still full-on in the ignorance mode. From past two nights, he is not even sleeping in the bedroom with me and Aarvi. The whole day he is purposely keeping himself busy with work even if he is working from home. Aarav is completely focused on Aarvi but when I am around, he tries to ignore me as if I don’t exist. That hurts. All this while he was stalking me, chasing for my one look and now he is pretending as if he never wanted me back in his life. I tried to accept his ignorance and not pay much heed to it but I can’t do that anymore. I didn’t ask him for a divorce, he did. I only wanted his little support and understanding of my present state. Trusting and giving up my so far built independence and work-life is not easy for me, which is why I wanted Aarav to let me take my own decisions. Eventually, I knew losing them who are my only family cannot be a lifelong decision. I just needed time and he wasn’t ready to give me that or at least he expected me to utilize it having him around. But how was I supposed to focus on my growth as his wife and Aarvi’s mother whilst parallelly handling my career and also curbing the queries I had in mind about Rudra and the absence of my memories?
So now I decide to fail his ignoring plans and act civil with me. We are not kids to play such silly games. We are adults and even parents to a 5.5-year-old child. We had to act cordial at least for Aarvi if not for us. I want to be in touch with him and Aarvi even when I leave for New York. Under no circumstance, I am giving him a divorce because I am not ready to lose Aarvi. She is my daughter and he can’t snatch that right from me.
