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“Mia!” I wail.
The slight hue of blue on her lips is enough to let death take me too.
She deserved so much better than me.
So much better than this.
This is my fault, no matter the connections with her brother. I dragged her into the darkness and this is the result.
“My angel...”
* * *
I’m a shadow of a man,grief stricken with pain and cursed with memories.
It’s too much.
Everything that’s happened is just too much and I can’t bear it.
I stand with everyone who came to the cemetery today and gaze on at the coffin.
It’s the standard mahogany, glossy and eerie.
I hate funerals to no end.
Hate them because while others may say they show a certain respect to the person you love. For me it’s goodbye. Goodbye as in goodbye forever, and ever.
No coming back.
All you’re left with is memories of how that person came into your life and how they changed you.
I watch the coffin lower into the ground and tears fall, including my own.
It should never have happened. None of it and I wished I had the power to turn time back to fix things. I knew if I had power like that so much would have been done differently.
The loss hangs in the air and I’m helpless again. Nothing I can do to fix it, or change it.
There’s not a single memory in my mind that doesn’t have Tommy there. I never thought I’d be at his funeral, watching his wife grieve for him while his parents hold his baby.
I’m torn and broken. I can’t find my way back to me.
That one day two weeks ago changed everything.
Tommy died and Mia very nearly did too.
Nearly?
I sound like I have hope. How dare I have hope here? She’s in a coma at the hospital.
She walks the line between life and death and like Tommy I don’t know what fate will decide.
A coma again, and I’m in the same place I was in weeks ago.
Helpless.
The next hour goes by in a blur.
I’m at the cemetery. I talk, I say things, I say goodbye, I tell Sherine I’ll be there for her when she needs me, I promise to check in on her. I leave.
