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“That’s amazing, sweetheart. How are the dorms treating you? Not too expensive, I hope?”
“I actually don’t live at the dorms anymore. I didn’t get along with my roommate, so I’m crashing with Aveena and Xavier until the end of summer,” I explain.
To no one’s surprise, Dave goes on to ask me about my insufferable roommate, and I walk him through the worst weeks of my life, telling him everything he needs to know about the human red flag that is Grace Paisley.
I run out of patience five minutes later. I’m all for small talk, but we have more pressing matters to discuss than the weather and my roommate being Satan’s spawn.
“What was my mother like?” I cut to the chase, leaning against the table and joining my hands together.
I can tell they didn’t expect me to be so blunt, but I won’t be kept in the dark a second longer. I might’ve been apprehensive about this dinner, but now that I’m here, the curiosity is killing me.
“Straight to the point, huh, sis?” Jesse grins, and his chosen nickname makes my skin crawl. I’m not his sister. I’m his kid. Even he can’t wrap his head around it.
“I’ve waited a year. I think that’s long enough, don’t you?”
“And whose fault is that?” Jesse matches my tone, but I’m not offended in the slightest. He has a point. They would’ve told me the truth months ago if it weren’t for my refusal to pick up the phone.
“I know I should’ve reached out sooner. I’m sorry.” I look at Dave when I speak. Jesse’s not the one I’m apologizing to. He’s not the one who left me long voicemails on my birthday, sent cards to my dorms for each holiday, and called me weekly to check in. He called me every week for six months before giving up.
“So, what was she like?” I insist.
Dave glances toward Jesse, probably because he’s the only person who would know the answer to that question. Jesse mirrors my position, joining his palms on the table. He thinks on his response for a while before saying, “Your mom was the funniest person I’d ever met.”
Our waiter turns the corner with our water the next second, and I curse his timing, counting down the seconds until he walks away again.
“She was sarcastic,” Jesse resumes talking. “Witty like you wouldn’t believe. She also saw the good in everything—people, situations. It was annoying at times. She saw solutions where everyone saw dead ends.” My heart aches when he adds, “Like mother, like daughter, I guess.”
My mom was an optimist.
Just like I am.
Or should I say… like I used to be.
“She was my best friend,” Jesse whispers, staring at his linked hands and reminiscing about the girl I’ll never get to know.
“How did you two meet?”
He looks up at me. “We landed in the same foster home when I was nine. I was mad at the world back then, hated everyone and told them so. Well, everyone except your mom. She was the only person I could tolerate. We got close when our foster parents ran out of bedrooms and dumped us in their attic together. We’d stay up all night talking, tell each other stories, and daydream about having a family.”
They were just two broken kids bonding over their misery, wishing they’d have the life so many take for granted.
“Were you always in the same foster homes?”
He scoffs. “I wish. We both switched home a few times after that. We just happened to end up in the same place two years later. By that time, I was eleven, and Bex was thirteen.”
“Is that what you called her? Bex?”
“Yeah. I called her Bex, short for Beatrix, and she called me Pan, short for Peter Pan. I was the first to ever tell her that story, and whenever I’d ask her why she chose that name, she’d smile and say it suited me.” He laughs to himself. “God, I hated that fucking nickname. Reminded me of kitchen appliances.”
I chuckle. “She seemed hilarious.”
Jesse’s smile fades. “She was. Strong, too. I could never understand how she could be so positive despite life throwing shit at her, but looking back, I realize she was just really good at hiding her pain.”
Dave’s phone ringing startles me. I was so wrapped up in Jesse’s story, I nearly forgot that we were in a crowded restaurant.
“It’s Gaten,” Dave states once he checks the screen. “He has Charlie this week. Something must be wrong.”
My stomach sinks when he mentions their new arrangement. I thought I’d come to terms with my parents’ divorce. After all, they’ve been separated for quite some time, but I was away at college when it happened. Call me foolish, but a part of me was secretly hoping that they were still together and living happily somewhere.
