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“I have to talk to you about something,” she said hoarsely.
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“But—”
“Leave, Emily,” I said.
I didn’t hear her padding to the front door, but I heard it open and shut again, and when I turned, she was gone.
I stood in the middle of my living room, trying to keep it together. My heart cracked in my chest and the noise was deafening. But fuck, I had to look after myself. I had to look out for myself because no one else would do it. I wasn’t going to let anyone else use me. Never again.
I was still struggling with Brooke, and we’d been divorced for seven years. I couldn’t let myself be blinded by love the same way. No matter what.
I turned back to the view I had of the city. My house was a bland box, but at least it was mine. Nothing in it reminded me of anyone else. The view was spectacular, and I’d bought into it with the money I’d earned by working my fingers to the bone for years and years.
No one had handed me this life on a silver platter.
And I wasn’t going to do the same for anyone else either.
Yeah, losing Emily hurt like a bitch. A lot more than losing Brooke had hurt.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t bounce back. I was resilient as fuck. I’d figured it out before, and I would figure it out again.
I could do this.
I was Parker fucking Conrad.
20
EMILY
Iwasjustsettlingin for the night when someone knocked on my door. I grumbled and reluctantly went to check. I was surprised to see Ryan through the peephole and opened the door.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
He scratched the back of his neck. “Hey Em, I uh…” He looked around like he didn’t know what to do with himself. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” I said and stepped back.
He walked into the apartment and stood on the other side of the door looking just as out of place.
“You know, being inside doesn’t make a difference if you’re just going to stand there,” I said. “Do you want something to drink?”
Ryan shook his head. And didn’t say anything.
“Okay…”
“I’m sorry,” he blurted out.
“What?”
“I’m sorry for leaving you with Mom when I found out about Parker. I was just… God, I was so pissed off. How could you lie to me?”
“I’m the one that should be sorry,” I said and hung my head. “It was wrong of me not to tell you. I wanted to, though. Wewereplanning on telling you. I was just so scared of… how you would react. And youdidblow up which is exactly what I was afraid would happen.”
“But if I heard it from you, I probably wouldn’t have reacted that way,” Ryan said.
“I know,” I said, nodding. “I get it. But you would still have been mad.”
