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Ryan thought about it and finally nodded, agreeing.
“Yeah, I just wouldn’t have seenyouas the enemy.”
“That’s what Mom does sometimes,” I pointed out. “She wanted to turn you against me so that you wouldn’t be against her. She saw this as an opportunity to get you onherside, especially since you’ve pretty much had no contact with her for the past year.”
Ryan groaned. “I know. I’m going to see her after this.
I raised my eyebrows.
“Not to pick a fight,” Ryan said, holding his hands up defensively. “Just to figure shit out. Because we can’t keep doing this. There’s way too much bitterness, you know? I’m sick and tired of all the fighting.”
“Me too,” I sighed. I felt queasy. My stomach turned and I needed to sit down.
“Are you okay?” Ryan asked, knowing something was wrong right away.
“I just… I think I’m coming down with something.”
Ryan studied my face, unsure if he believed me. I wanted to tell him about the pregnancy. I wanted to tell him about Parker’s baby. But he’d only just come back to me. I couldn’t tell him, not right now. I would as soon as I knew howIfelt about it. And what I was going to do.
“You work too hard,” Ryan finally said. “And you’re always the strong one. When are you going to let someone else be strong for you?”
That was what Parker had been, before I’d lost him. Just thinking about it made me want to cry. But I took a deep breath.
“I’ll figure it out. You know I always do.”
“Sure,” Ryan said.
“Parker and I aren’t together anymore.”
“What?”
I shrugged and moved toward the couch so that I could sit down. I perched on the armrest and Ryan moved closer.
“Why?” he asked.
I shook my head. “We had differences we couldn’t figure out.”
Ryan raised his eyebrows the same way I’d done.
“It’s because of me…”
“No. It’s a long story. I think we’re just not meant to be together. And that’s okay. It happens, right? I can figure this out on my own. I don’t need to date anyone to know where I’m headed in life. As long as you and I are okay.”
I offered Ryan a smile and hoped to God he didn’t see how close I was to tears.
Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Do you really believe you’re better off alone?”
I nodded. “Positive.”
He stood. “As long as you’re okay, okay? And we’re okay. That’s all I care about. I hate fighting with you, we need each other to get through this thing called life. We shared a womb. To not talk now is just stupid.”
I laughed and Ryan pulled me up and hugged me.
“I love you, sis.”
“I love you, too.” He pulled away. “Good luck with Mom.”
“Thanks,” Ryan said. “It’s about time we talked about everything that happened. I don’t want to push her away anymore, either. I’m sorry I’ve been so closed off about it all. I was still having a hard time forgiving her for what she did to Dad and to our happy family. I was wrong. And I was wrong letting you support her on your own, too. We’ll figure this out together from now on.”
