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“I will. I promise.” Lucas had always been there for her, and he was Aidan’s best friend. If anyone would know what was going on in Aidan’s head, her brother would. Just knowing Lucas was waiting for her made the drive so much easier. She felt calm enough to concentrate on her driving as the road unwound in a long ribbonlike arc of asphalt.
Hours later, having listened to an audio book for the remainder of the trip, she pulled into her driveway, to the home she’d shared with Aidan. As she pressed the remote to open the garage door, she fought back loneliness so profound her breath felt trapped in her throat. For one fleeting moment, she doubted her decision to walk out on Aidan.
Maybe if she had stayed, encouraged him to talk about how they would care for Emma together, put aside her hurt feelings, they could have made some decisions. Then she recalled his mulish expression. No, there wouldn’t have been any discussion or compromise. Aidan would make up his mind, the way he always did.
And that, more than some of the other problems before them, seemed to point to the end of her marriage.
* * *
AIDAN WATCHED THE car pull away and his heart turned over in his chest. He didn’t want Grace to leave. He should have gone out to beg her to stay, but he hadn’t because…because he didn’t know what to say to her. He’d felt this way so many times before when they’d been trying to have a baby. Grace had been so intent on getting pregnant that everything else in their lives was forgotten. They’d stopped talking about anything other than having a baby. Their time together had become charged with waiting to see if Grace had a positive pregnancy test.
When Grace had wanted to take Emma’s custody slowly, to consider all the aspects of what it meant to take her, he’d been surprised. Having witnessed her obsession with having a baby, he’d assumed that Grace would be as willing as he was to take the little girl into their lives as soon as they possibly could.
His wife wanted a child, and Emma needed parents. To him it was a gift from God, the answer to their prayers.
Yet when Grace had protested, his first instinct had been to defend his position, his plan. He’d been hurt that Grace didn’t seem to feel as he did about Emma. Yet he knew he needed Grace more now than he ever had in his entire life.
He’d screwed everything up. But one thing he was thankful for: he’d held his tongue. When she accused him of being selfish, he’d almost said something about her selfish obsession these past years. If he’d said that, there would be no chance that she would ever listen to him again.
But Grace had been right about one thing. They needed to talk this out together, and he had to take it easy, let her express her fear and reservations about assuming custody of Emma. He had a few reservations of his own, including how they would cope with a child who was old enough to realize that her mother was gone, but too young to understand why her life would have to change.
As he watched Grace drive away he wanted to run after her, tell her how much he loved her and that she was right. They needed to sort out their feelings and expectations before they made a decision about Emma. And that meant they needed time alone together to prepare for what lay ahead.
Yet he couldn’t find the motivation to walk out on his daughter. She faced the long days and nights without her mother. It was so important that Emma have people around her who loved her while she learned to cope with her new circumstances.
His heart heavy, he turned toward the window to see the brake lights glow red as Grace pulled out of the driveway. He knew his wife would call Lucas to seek his advice. When she told him what Aidan had done, Lucas would be angry, and rightfully so. Aidan doubted that Lucas would understand his point of view, and he couldn’t blame him.
