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Grace couldn’t look at her sandwich let alone take a bite. “Aidan, I’m not sure I can accept Emma as my child. I…I… She belongs to you and Deidre.”
Aidan stared across the glossy surface of the counter at her. “She belongs with you and me. Deidre is gone. She is not coming back. She left her child in our care. Deidre wasn’t part of our lives, but we’ve been given the gift. Something good has come out of Deidre’s death. At least, that’s how I see it.”
Grace took a deep breath, preparing herself to offer up what she felt. Crossing her fingers that Aidan would listen, she said, “That’s not how I see it. I need time to accept her into our lives. She is a part of you, and I respect that. But she’s not a part of me. I can’t have a child, and I’m afraid that having Emma with us would be a constant reminder of my inability to have a baby and of your infidelity.”
Aidan blew out an impatient sigh. “Grace, how can I convince you that Deidre was never really part of my life? The only really good thing that came out of that relationship was Emma.”
Her throat choking with tears, Grace tried to find the right words. “Aidan, I need time to sort this out. We need time together, to adjust to having a child in our lives so suddenly. Would it be possible to leave Emma here with Lisa while you and I go home and work this out?”
“Are you saying you don’t want Emma?” he asked, frustration tingeing his words.
“That’s not what I said at all. What I said was I need to be sure that taking Emma into our lives at the moment is the right thing for us. We have so many problems we need to work on. This is all so sudden, and I need to feel that we are doing the right thing. I need us to talk it all out, rather than jump in so fast.”
“The right thing? This isn’t about right or wrong. This is about my daughter, our daughter. Grace, you’re overreacting to all this. Don’t let what happened years ago influence how you feel about Emma. This is our life. We have a child. What we both have wanted all along.”
“But what you did back then is now influencing everything in our life, in my life. You had an affair, which you didn’t tell me about. You find out you have a daughter from that affair and I’m supposed to jump onboard without a moment’s thought or hesitation. I’m your wife. I was your wife before Deidre and before this child. I need you to support me in this, to give me time to adjust.”
“I don’t know what to say. You want me to leave Emma here while we go home and work on you adjusting to having a child in our lives when we’ve waited years for this opportunity. I don’t get it,” he said.
“This child is not ours. She’s yours and Deidre’s. Not mine. I can’t simply ignore what you and Deidre did to my life, to my faith in you. It’s this simple. Either I’m part of this decision or I’m not,” she said, anger rising through her.
“Grace, I can’t abandon Emma. And that’s what it would feel like if I went home with you now. But if you stay here with me, I’m willing to spend time working through this with you, reassuring you in any way I can.”
“I don’t want reassurance. I want to be involved in deciding what is best for her and for us. Don’t you see?” she asked, feeling miserable and alone. “If you’d been willing to adopt a baby, we’d be a family now. Taking Emma into our lives would be different, if we already had a child.”
“Grace, where is this coming from? Are you afraid that I am taking Emma out of some sort of loyalty to Deidre?” he asked, his dark eyes intent on hers.
She shrugged in defeat. “What do you want me to say? We can’t seem to talk about this without you presenting what you want and expecting me to go along with it.”
