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I’m not sure what to say to Jackson.
“Look,” he says, “I know you’ve been through a lot the past four or five years, and I can relate. You know what happened to my first wife and how I lost her … we’ve had that convo before.” He leans forward in the chair and rests his elbows on his knees. “Whatever’s bothering you, I want you to know I’m here if you need to talk.”
Then it occurs to me that Jackson might understand my situation better than anyone. The circumstances of us losing our wives are different, yet similar. He lost an unborn baby, too. A few years after his wife’s death, he met Catherine. At that time, he lived on the East Coast, and Cole Security was only operating out of Virginia. However, when Catherine moved to California, he followed her and ended up opening the West Coast office.
“Okay, here’s the thing,” I start explaining, hoping he doesn’t tell me I’m crazy. “When we were up in Port Townsend the first time and met Jarred Feldman’s ex-girlfriend, I found that I was attracted to her. She was nice to talk to, you know?”
“So you’re telling me you fell for Shawna Sparks while you were there?”
I nod. “Yeah. It just sort of happened. The more we talked, the more we connected. I really enjoyed spending time with her, and I developed feelings for her.”
“Okay.” Jackson leans back in his chair again. “Did she have feelings for you, too?”
“Yes.”
“Wow, that must’ve been hard for you when she was taken yesterday,” he says with sincerity. “Thank God she and her kid are all right.”
“Yeah, it was,” I say, letting out a breath. “Look, I’ll be honest with you, Jackson. Shawna and I are going to try to make a long-distance relationship work, but I know it’s going to be difficult since we’re so far apart. This morning—” I stop myself, wondering if I should tell him about the job. I rub my forehead, weighing my options. What’s the worst that can happen, though? I decide to just go for it and continue. “This morning, after we met with the police and FBI, the police chief told the four of us that if we’re ever interested in working for the Port Townsend police to give him a call.”
Jackson’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, I see.” He rubs his chin as if he’s considering what to say in response to that. “I suppose you’re considering this move, otherwise you wouldn’t have brought it up.”
I shrug. “Yes and no. I love working for Cole Security. I love my job, and not just what I do, but the people I work with. But it’s definitely tempting to be closer to Shawna.”
“I totally get that. Hell, I went through a similar situation with Catherine myself, and I chose to move to be with her. You have to do what’s best for you. If you need to pursue this opportunity in order to give your relationship a fair chance, then I think you should.”
Am I dreaming? Did Jackson Cole really just tell me I should go for it?
He stands and puts his hands in his pockets. Looking down at me, he adds, “Just know that if things don’t work out for you in Washington, you’re always welcome to come back to San Diego and work with us again.”
“Wow, thanks, man,” I say, standing and putting my hand out for him to shake. “I really appreciate you listening and offering advice.”
“Any time,” he says. “Just let me know what you decide to do, okay?”
* * *
When I return to my apartment that night, it feels good to be home, in my own space.
But I miss Shawna.
We’ve texted each other all day, just sharing what we’re doing, how she and Noah are coping, and how much we wish we could be together. We FaceTime before Noah’s bedtime so he can talk to me, too. He’s such a great kid. I hope yesterday’s events didn’t scar him too badly. Shawna set therapy appointments for each of them, and Noah’s first one is tomorrow.
After our FaceTime call, we hang up so Shawna can put Noah to bed, but she promises to call me again once he’s asleep. I’m not sure if I should mention what the Port Townsend police chief offered me and the other guys today. However, I’d like to know what Shawna would think of the possibility of me moving. What if she doesn’t like the idea?
I decide I should probably ask her how she feels about it.
My phone rings just as I’m crawling into bed. I mute my TV and sit back against my propped-up pillows. “Hi, babe,” I say when I answer.
“Hi,” she says. I never realized how much I love the sound of her voice. “Noah’s asleep, and I just wanted to talk one more time before I go to bed.”
“I’m glad you want to talk again because I love hearing your voice. You can call me any time.”
“I love the sound of your voice, too,” she says.
“Well, that’s good,” I reply. I might as well ask her now and get it over with. “So, I want to get your opinion on something.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“Hypothetically, if I was offered a job in Port Townsend, how would you feel about me accepting it?”
