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Brianne and I talk a bit longer before ending our call. Now, there’s just one person left for me to call and talk to.Stone.I pull up his number on my phone, but just as I’m about to presscall, my finger hovers there, unable to do it.
What’s wrong with me? Iwantto talk to him, but my nerves have me hesitating. I can’t talk to him when I feel like this. I’ll jumble all my words, and nothing will come out the right way. When I talk to Stone, I want to make sure I’m thinking clearly so I’m able to articulate my feelings correctly. I can’t call him yet.
Instead, I go back in the house. I need to find something to do with all this nervous energy to calm down.
I decide to go into the gift shop.
It’s actually been awhile since I’ve been here. I don’t work in the shop very often, only when we’re shorthanded.
“Hi, Olivia,” Cassie, our gift shop employee, says as I walk in.
“Hi!”
“If you’re looking for Lorelei, she’s at her table.”
“Okay, thanks,” I reply, and that gives me an idea.
I haven’t had my cards read in a while, and this might be a good time to do that, offering a bit more clarity to my situation with Stone.
I find Lorelei at her table in the corner, alone. She’s shuffling a deck of Tarot cards, but she doesn’t have any customers with her. She looks up and smiles at me as I approach her.
“Have a seat,” she says, pointing at the chair across from her. “I can do a quick reading for you before my client arrives.”
It’s as if she read my mind.
I sit, and Lorelei hands the deck of cards over for me to shuffle. This is so my own energy transfers to the cards. I don’t know how many times Lorelei has done readings for me in the past, but it’s a lot, dating all the way back to when I was twelve. I remember I came here to visit for a couple of weeks, like I did every year, but that summer before my seventh-grade year, she finally agreed to show me her Tarot cards and do my first reading. I was in awe, and I begged her for my own deck, which of course she gave me, along with a beginner’s book. I was really into Tarot and astrology that summer, but once school started again, the book and cards sat unused on my bookshelf. I was too distracted by school and friends, and Chelsea’s mom had convinced her that Tarot cards were linked to the devil, so I wasn’t allowed to use them around her.
The following summer, my interest in Tarot was ignited again when I visited Lorelei, but once school started, my interest waned… and so the cycle continued until I graduated high school and began college. By then, I was too busy with school, work, and friends to pay attention to Tarot anymore. The time I would spend at the beach with Lorelei was cut shorter, due to summer jobs I held to help pay tuition. So, while my interest in Tarot and astrology remained, my time and commitment to learning more about it became completely nonexistent.
I close my eyes and concentrate on what I want the cards to give me guidance on––Stone. I play what’s like a thirty-second movie in my head, fast forwarding through our relationship thus far: how we met, the time we spent together here in Seaside… all the way up to the shitshow that unraveled last night. My heart pounds, and I have a pit in my stomach as I replay it all in my mind.
After I feel satisfied with how the cards are shuffled, I open my eyes and set the deck on the table. I’ve done this enough times in my life, I know what to do. I fan the cards out in front of me. “Choose three cards,” Lorelei says, and I follow her instructions.
I move my hand over the cards, randomly choosing the three cards I feel compelled to take, and place them down on the table for Lorelei to see.
“Okay,” she says, analyzing the cards. She thinks for a moment before proceeding, and I think about all the times Lorelei has read my cards over the years––accurately, too. She’s incredibly gifted at this.
I look at the cards as well, trying to remember what they all mean, but since I don’t read Tarot cards on a regular basis myself, I can’t remember all of them for sure.
“Well, let’s start with this card, which represents the past. The Eight of Swords means you’re overwhelmed with personal problems right now. You feel trapped, which could be due to your own fears based on things that have happened to you before.”
“What does that mean?” I ask. Although I think I know what she’s getting at, I want to hear her interpretation to be sure.
Lorelei looks into my eyes when she answers. “It means that you can’t let the fears you have based on your past dictate what you do in your future.”
Wow.That’s scarily accurate.
She looks back at the cards, smiles, then continues, “This card is the Ten of Cups,” she says, referring to the one in the middle, which I know signifies the present. “This is good. You’re entering a time of contentment and peace, and you’ll have the support of your family and friends. It also represents a love relationship starting. Forgiveness, reconciliation, joy, and happiness––” She looks up at me again–– “This relationship is meant to be, Olivia.”
If I didn’t know Lorelei, I might wonder if she’s making this up for my benefit, but I know my aunt, and she would never do such a thing. Besides, the little I do know about Tarot cards validates what she’s saying. Although I couldn’t immediately remember the meaning of the Ten of Cups, her explanation reminded me, and what she’s saying makes sense.
Lorelei looks back down at the third card––the one I know represents the future. “This is the Hanged Man. The card of contradictions. There could be some confusing times ahead for you, but it’s important to remember that peace of mind comes from simply making the decision. Rather than trying to control situations or people, let them be. Remember, things will work out the way they’re intended.”
I’m stunned. Everything Lorelei just said makes perfect sense. I’m letting the fears from my past overwhelm and trap me. My trust issues are the core of my current problem with Stone. But according to the middle card, a love relationship will be starting. I just have to forgive and reconcile things with Stone first, and then there’ll be joy and happiness. And as for the future, I may get confused again, but I can’t try to control everything; I need to let things be and just make decisions for peace of mind.
“Did that all make sense?” Lorelei asks.
I nod. “Actually, it did. Thank you.”
