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“Nothing. I see nothing about you here. Not a photo or anything personal. What’s that about?”
“Habit I suppose. But also, it isn’t as though I’m here permanently. At some point I will have to go home. Now do you want to see the other cabins or head to Bobbi’s early?”
“As sad as it sounds, I don’t know when I’ll have a day as free as this again. I’d prefer to drag it out as long as possible.”
She moves toward the door but stops when I call her name. “What do you mean you may not have a day as free as this again?”
“Do you know the last time I laughed freely and went about my day without a worry? Without leaving detailed notes of where I’d be. Without looking over my shoulder and checking behind doors? It was long before you found me lying on the ground that night in college. Something tells me today was an anomaly and not a new normal. Now, come give me a tour of the outside before we go take that call that’s likely all bad news.”
Hearing her speak those words with nothing but sadness in her voice pricks at something deep inside me. Compassion was something I had to push aside while on assignment. There’s no room for empathy or understanding when you are working to bring down a criminal enterprise. When I found Sophia that night, my thoughts instantly went to my sister and as I watch her walk through the doorway they go there once again.
Dr. Le said I have a bit of a hero complex, which makes me want to save others. The absurdity of that thought is never lost on me. I have failed to save people in my life too many times to count. There isn’t an ounce of hero in me, but I’d like to help save Sophia from more years of living in a constant state of terror.
Pushing myself off the armrest of the couch, I follow her outside and close the door behind me. When I approach the open door of the farthest cabin, I catch her sitting in the middle of the dusty floor. Knees pulled to her chest and her eyes closed, she looks sad.
Along with keeping my compassion in check, I’ve spent years not allowing myself to care about anyone new. To put their feelings before my own. My family was deep in the recesses of my mind knowing they were, or were supposed to be, safe. The team was within arm’s reach at any time and while we were close and had each other’s backs, there were always barriers up between us all to keep our emotions in check.
For the first time in years, I want to sit down next to this woman and pull her against me. To give her reassurance and remind her that people are here for her. Instead, I clear my throat and she looks up. Her eyes are full of tears and she swipes them away, offering me a timid smile.
“Sorry. I get emotional sometimes when I accept how shitty my life is.”
“Come on. Your life isn’t bad. You have friends and family, right? A good job and a place to live.”
The sadness in her eyes is replaced with something much different. Jumping to her feet, she crosses the room quickly, a scowl on her face. She wipes the remnants of her tears as she looks up at me.
“Are you kidding me? Do you know what I don’t have,Officer Castillo? A life. I don’t have a fucking life. I don’t go to the movies. I don’t hike the mountains or take walks on the beach anymore. I can’t visit my parents whenever I want. Not to mention how lonely I am. Do you know what it is like to be twenty-five years old and have not been on a date in over four years? Four years! I’m tired. So tired of being alone. Today reminded me just how lonely my life is, and I hate it. I hate this person for doing this to me.”
Her chest rises and falls as her voice breaks. “I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want him to control my life.He threatened me. He is never going to stop. Never.”
I pull her into my arms as her body shakes and sobs pour from her in waves. She doesn’t hug me back at first, keeping her arms stiff at her side. When I rest my chin atop her head, she finally gives in and wraps her arms around my waist, her hands gripping my T-shirt.
I don’t know how long we stand like this but it’s long enough for her sobs to quiet to the occasional sniffle. Her voice is muffled against my shirt when she begins to apologize. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Hey. Hey, look at me.” To my disappointment, she steps back and releases her hold before giving me her attention. Big brown eyes rimmed in red look back at me and I’m at a loss for words.
Seconds tick by and I clear my throat. “There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Do you feel better?”
“For yelling at you and taking out some built-up rage out on the wrong person?”
I nod. She smiles and scrunches her nose. “Kind of? That’s awful, isn’t it?”
Instead of answering, I look at my shirt. A large wet spot covers the spot where she was resting her head. I say, “Nah. I would love to say you’re the first woman I’ve gotten that pissed but that would be a lie. I didn’t mean to imply anything negatively. I promise.”
“I know. You should probably change your shirt before we hear the bad news.”
“Quit being such a Negative Nelly. I’m sure Bruce will only have positive things to say. But you’re right. I should change. Meet you at the truck?”
Sophia nods and we exit the cabin. While she turns toward where my truck is parked, I jog across the lot to my cabin. Once inside, I discard the shirt and toss it to my laundry bag when I hear a gasp.
Turning, I catch Sophia staring. Her mouth is open and eyes wide. “Sorry. Shit. I should have knocked. I wanted to use the restroom before we go. That road is pretty bumpy. I didn’t mean to catch you... uh. Well, yeah. So, uh. I’ll just wait outside.”
Laughing, I grab a shirt from the dresser and pull it over my head. “Go on. I’ll wait outside.”
I’m almost to the door when she says, “Gage? That piece on your back. It’s beautiful.”
“Thanks.”
Chapter 27
