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He twisted his neck to look up at her, only realizing then that he’d doubled over in pain, “Yeah?”
“I love you too.”
Zander squeezed his eyes shut as pain rippled through his body, just beneath his skin. He clenched his jaw so tight he swore he broke a tooth. But then he realized the sound he heard wasn’t coming from him. When he forced his eyes back open Maya’s wolf stood in front of him and he whimpered when she tilted her head at him, waiting for him to let her meet her mate.
He had been able to feel the animal shifting impatiently inside of him all day. He had felt the presence in his head and beneath his skin. He’d been overcome with the heat, spending hours making love to Maya and then napping and waking up only to reach for her again. Nothing he did had calmed the itching in the back of his mind and he knew that since the full moon was high in the sky now, it was finally time to let the wolf break free.
He tried to breathe through the pain the way Maya had taught him. He tried to focus on her wolf and letting the animals seal their bond so they could be together forever in both forms. But he knew it was the fear in the back of his mind that refused to abate that kept him from shifting.
He wasn’t human anymore. Logically he knew that. He was a wolf shifter. He had a wolf inside of him. This was what he had wanted. Ever since Zoey had shown him what she was, told him about Noir and the people who lived here, explained that his pull towards Maya was more than simple attraction, he had wanted exactly this.
But now that he was hovering on the precipice of having everything he could ever have dared to dream of, he was having a hard time letting go of his human skin. What if he couldn’t control the wolf? What if it took over and wouldn’t let him surface again? What if he lost himself inside the animal because he had no idea what he was getting himself into? He’d been shoving the doubts to the back of his mind but now, with the wolf fighting to be set free, his mind was clear of everything except the pain and the fear.
The warm brush of fur against his face had him glancing up and he realized he had gone to his knees on the ground. Maya’s wolf stood over him. She nudged his face up with her muzzle and then her thick, coarse, tongue licked his cheek. He winced, wiping the wolf’s slimy saliva off and realized two things as he did.
The first was that tears had been streaming down his face. He’d been crying but he didn’t know why. Fear? Happiness? Pain? Whatever the reason, Maya’s wolf had come to him and pressed herself to him, trying to make him feel better. The second was that Maya’s wolf had distracted him, gotten him out of his head, and when he pulled his hand back from wiping his cheek, the shift had begun.
He had claws.
Zander opened his eyes wide in surprise and looked up at Maya’s wolf. Her gold eyes glowed with warmth and expectation and he nodded. She wanted her mate, deserved him, and it was time. He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, clearing his mind of everything but his desire for his mate, his overwhelming need to be everything she needed and give her everything she wanted. He could do this. For Maya.
The wolf ripped free the moment he let his guard down.
Zander’s body convulsed and his bones snapped and muscles tore and reformed. He felt the ground rush up to meet him and grunted as all the air was sucked out of his lungs. The heat of the bond he and Maya had forged became an all-out wildfire, burning him alive, melting him down. His skin rippled and then felt as if it exploded with a million shattered pieces flying apart so that he wasn’t sure he could ever put himself back together.
He was certain he was dying when the world went blurry and everything around him dimmed. He felt Maya’s presence at his side, heard her wolf whine and wondered if she knew something was wrong. He’d screwed it up somehow. He had done something wrong, doubted the process, and this was his punishment. So close to having everything that he had ever wanted and now he was dying as the woman he loved was forced to watch from behind her wolf’s golden eyes.
The world went black and he told himself that it was okay. Violet had Zoey. Maya had her family. They would be okay without him. If that was all he’d accomplished in life then it was enough. It would have to be enough.
Maya’s wolf nudged him in the side with her muzzle. He growled, wanting to be left alone to die in peace. She growled right back at him in response and nudged him again hard enough to send him rolling over and he jumped to his feet, ready to tell her that it was over, his wolf hadn’t made it out, but when he landed it wasn’t on feet but four paws.
The world tilted and he unsteadily caught himself and looked around. He was low to the ground, too low to be standing if he’d still been human. But he wasn’t human anymore. He was a wolf. Finally.
His wolf stretched and turned in circles, taking in his surroundings and taking stock of himself. It felt strange for Zander. He was still there, behind the animal’s eyes, but he knew without question that he wasn’t the one controlling the animal’s movements like some sort of weird puppet master. No, his wolf was in the world now and for the rest of the full moon he would have free rein and all Zander could do was hold on for the ride.
Maya’s wolf howled and his wolf turned to face her. If wolves could smile, Zander swore both them must look like lovesick idiots right then. He had thought she was beautiful when she shifted for him but his wolf saw more than just the beauty of the big, black wolf. He saw strength and pride and more importantly, his mate. Zander’s wolf howled in response and his tone matched hers so perfectly it was as if they’d been singing the same song all their lives.
Zander’s wolf lowered his head and slunk across the clearing towards her. Maya’s wolf gave a snarl that he somehow recognized as playful. He closed the distance between them but when his wolf was about to pounce, Maya’s wolf darted out of reach again.
She wasn’t going to make this easy, he realized. Maya’s wolf was just as much a Princess in her pack as she was a warrior. She was going to make hm work for it before she let a newly born wolf mate her and seal the bond.
Zander’s wolf yipped with happiness, eager to rise to her challenge, and then he took off after her, chasing her around the clearing, in and out of trees and over fallen logs. They played when he had been certain their first order of business would have been mating. Instead the wolves took the opportunity to get to know one another by racing, leaping over one another, playing games together and, he realized belatedly, Maya’s wolf was also putting him through his paces, teaching his wolf to trust his instincts.
When she finally let his wolf catch her, Zander’s wolf was on her in an instant, growling and baring his teeth. Maya’s wolf didn’t submit. She rolled them and pinned his beneath her, sinking her own teeth into his wolf’s shoulder. His wolf howled with a mix of pleasure and pain and then he was shaking himself free and turning to snap his jaw around Maya’s wolf’s thigh.
Zander felt the magic of the bond click into place as the circle closed. Maya must have felt it too. He swore even through her wolf’s eyes he could see her sweet expression of happiness, hoped it mirrored his own because he had never been happier in his life than he was in this moment.
They were mated now for eternity. Nothing could ever tear them apart. Nothing could come between them. They would build a life together, a family together, and this would be his home. Here, in Noir, with Maya and the rest of the pack.
Their wolves scrambled and clawed at one another as they came together in a rough, animalistic show of love and power and strength. They howled and somewhere in the distance he heard the answering calls of other wolves. He was curious what other shifters were in these woods tonight and how close they might be but his wolf didn’t care who was around or who saw him as he mounted Maya’s wolf. All he wanted was to be with her, just like this, until the moon waned and the sun rose in the morning.
And that was exactly how they spent their first night together as wolves. Running and playing, biting and mating, napping and then waking to do it all over again. And when their animals finally tired themselves out, they curled up together in the little clearing, and slept the peaceful sleep that came with knowing they were exactly where they were supposed to be.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Maya woke with the feel of the sun on her face and a warm body wrapped around her own. She smiled, unable to contain her happiness and not wanting to. She had spent so much of her life fighting to find a balance between her wolf nature that wanted companionship and her human side that remembered all too well what could happen if you let down your guard. But here and now, finally, she felt at peace.
Zander hummed, shifting against her and she closed her eyes to bask in the moment. His arms were wound around her and she could feel a very persistent part of his body pressing into her back. With the heat sated and their bond complete, she didn’t feel the quick flash of overwhelming need that she had anytime he was close over the last few weeks. Instead there was a slow, sweet yearning that uncurled deep in her belly and had her pushing back against him to get more of his touch. Zander made no move except to kiss her shoulder and neck and the easy intimacy of it nearly undid her.
