AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I swallow. “Nothing has happened between us. Nothing will happen between us. Okay?”
Ellie studies me, testing my sincerity. “You promise?”
I exhale, suddenly exhausted. By this conversation taking place under the glare of fluorescent lights. By the prospect of walking away from the guy I like more than I’ve liked any guy. By my sad existence here, limping through each day, pretending like I don’t care about anyone, about anything. “Yeah. I promise.”
Ellie doesn’t appear triumphant. But she does look relieved. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I echo, then walk away. Past her and back into the loud gym.
I skirt the perimeter on autopilot until I reach the door I’m looking for. The locker-lined hallway is quiet and creepy, moonlight filtering in through the windows and reflecting against gray metal.
When I reach the doorway for Mrs. Jeeves’s classroom, I take a deep breath. Steel myself.
The handle turns, exposing the dark classroom where I have Calculus each weekday. I step inside, barely registering the sound of the door closing behind me as I scan the dark classroom. This feels a little like the moment where the woman in the horror movie gets killed. That scene that everyone saw coming and is tossing popcorn at the screen during, bemoaning her stupidity.
Then, I spot him, and the mood abruptly changes. Instead of fear, I’m experiencing anticipation. Excitement. His proximity embeds itself under my skin, spreading electricity and making my steps clumsy.
“You’re in my seat,” I tell him, even knowing I should say something else. Knowing that this won’t hurt and then feel good—the exact opposite.
“Come kick me out then.”
I walk toward him, hating each step. Wanting to be closer and farther away.
Teddy slides off my desk as I near, watching me approach him. He leans back against the metal, hands in his pockets, the picture of nonchalance. But I don’t miss the way his Adam’s apple bobs. The tightening of his jaw. How his breathing quickens.
He’s wondering what the fact that I came means. Where this might go.
His eyes trail down deliberately. I feel his gaze on me like a physical touch. The air between us thickens. It becomes tangible—a living, breathing, pulsing awareness with a presence that burns and sparks.
I reach him. Take a deep breath before speaking. “I can’t do this.”
I’m expecting the disappointment on his face. But I didn’t anticipate how seeing it would feel like I’m the one getting stabbed.
“Sutton…”
“Ican’t, Teddy. I’m leaving soon, for good. And you—you met her first. Maybe…maybe this is how things are meant to be. Fate.”
“Fuck fate,” he says so viciously that it startles me. “Was it fate when the person who hit my mom drove off without stopping and she died alone? Fate my dad will spend most of his life behind bars because it was either he take the fall for the dealers who should be there or die? Fate that your mom was too much of a coward to—”
“Stop. I get it, okay? I don’t know what’s fate and what’s not. If it even exists. I just…we’re not…” I sigh. “This thing between us, it’s just the thrill of…”
“The thrill ofwhat, Sutton?”
“It felt exciting because it couldn’t happen. We were both with other people. And now—”
“Now, itstillcan’t happen, according to you.”
I tense in response to the sharpened edge to his tone. “You don’t have to see Ellie every day. Ido.”
Teddy crosses his arms. “I get it. I do. I’m not saying it will be easy or it won’t be awkward. I’m saying it’sworth itto me. You’re worth it to me. Did you feelthis”—he gestures between us—“with Ricky? Withanyother guy?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters!” Teddy steps closer. “Are you saying if I kissed you, you wouldn’t kiss me back?” His hand rises to grip my waist while his voice lowers. “If I slipped my hand up and under thisfuckingdress, you wouldn’t get wet for me?”
I’m equal parts shocked and aroused by the question. This is a new side of Teddy, one I haven’t seen before. One that’s dominant and bossy and fights dirty. If he’s trying to convince me he’s the perfect guy for me, he’s doing an excellent job. I wonder if he was ever this way with Ellie.
And that thought circles me right back to where I started. Setting Ellie’s feelings aside, I’m not sure I’d ever be able to get over it—the comparison.
