Page 32 of If I Were Wind

“Yes, he’s nice.” I fiddled with my gloves as the warmth of the room seeped into me. “When we shook hands, I felt a shot of energy. My beast woke up and stirred. I’ve never experienced that sensation with Roy.”

She chuckled. “That’s because Roy never lets his guard down. He never shares his feelings with others. Nathan is obviously more friendly.”

“Does it mean we’re going to be great partners?”

“Not necessarily. It’s just…” Her gaze travelled up as she searched for words. “It’s just a sign that the other person is a friendly one and ready to share his beast with you. I think. Sam has been my partner for two years, and no magical spark has ever started between us. Still, we’re good friends and great partners.”

Which made me think about something. “Have you ever been healed by Sam?” Perhaps Roy had a point when he said I asked too many questions.

“A few times. Nothing extremely serious though, aside from a broken arm. That was ruddy painful. Then the usual things, like bruises, cuts, a split lip.” She lifted a shoulder. “That sort of thing.”

“And when Sam heals you…” I toyed with a tendril of hair. “Do you feel peculiar?”

“Peculiar?” She frowned.

“Well, like excited, exhilarated, and sexually aroused,” I whispered the last words.

She scrunched up her nose. “Eww. Heck, no. Not in the slightest. It’s just something that has to be done. It’s like hugging my brother. I mean, it’s good to not feel pain. It goes away in an instant, but pleasure? Never. I actually find the healing rather gross.” She shivered, as if the idea of being healed revolted her. How different from me.

“But what about when Sam has to heal a cut on your lips?” I pressed on. “Don’t you feel anything when he kisses or licks certain…areas of your body.”

Green coloured her face. “He doesn’tlickme anywhere. Or kiss me. He uses his finger and a bit of saliva. As I said, gross. We don’t kiss or do anything else like that. There are other partners who use their mouths if they’re comfortable with that, but not everyone. Why? Do you feel aroused when Roy heals you? Actual sexual pleasure?” Incredulity showed in the slant of her mouth.

Heck, I’d started this conversation. “A bit.” A lot.

“Be honest.” She leaned closer. “And give me details.”

Funny, but that was the same thing that Ashcombe had asked me about a moment ago. “Details? I don’t think so.”

“Please.” She gripped my arm. “My interest is purely scientific. There are a few people who find the healing arousing.” She paused. “Like Clare. She enjoys being healed by Kenneth. But I’ve never experienced any pleasure in the healing, and I changed partners a few times.”

I sighed. “Well, it isn’t like anything I’ve ever experienced. When we were in Berlin, and he used his lips to heal my cuts, it was sheer heaven. It wasn’t only the relief from not feeling pain. It was extremely pleasurable. Even for him, I believe.”

“Did you come?”

“Peggy.” I swatted her shoulder.

“It’s science. I swear. I’m not judging you. I genuinely want to know.”

A sharp breath left my lips. Not because of her curiosity, but because it was painful to remember. “Yes, I did. How could I not? It was too overwhelming.” Like the moment in the forest, but he hadn’t been healing me then.

“Hmm.” Her brandy-coloured eyes brightened. “That’s interesting. I’ve read about this occurrence. It’s not extremely common, though. Only one beast out of fifty gets excited by the healing process.” She toyed with her pencil, studying the notebook next to her. “It’s all wrong, innit? It shouldn’t be like that.”

“What’s wrong?”

She chewed a corner of her mouth. “I wonder what the purpose of that pleasure is, since we don’t have working reproductive organs. I mean, we aren’t humans. We’ve been made by a machine, planned and designed by an engineer. Why feel the attraction?”

“Excuse me? I’m not following you.”

Peggy waved a hand. “Nothing, only some ideas I’m researching. Boring stuff.” As she shuffled her papers around, I plonked down onto my bed. Whatever she was researching, it didn’t seem boring to her, judging by how focused she was on her notes.

I stretched on the bed and kicked my shoes off. Connor had made me promise that I wouldn’t share what had happened with Roy with anyone, but a general question about the merging process wouldn’t raise any suspicions. “May I ask you something else?”

“Of course.” She lifted her gaze from her notebook.

I propped myself on my elbow. “When you merge with Sam, have you ever felt other presences?”

“Yes.” She crossed her legs at the ankles, creasing the yellow trousers of her uniform. “Sam had a few partners before me. The first times we merged, I could feel a trace of them through our connection.”

“Really?”

Her red eyebrows drew together. “It wasn’t exactly pleasant. It was like being spied on. But after a while, the sensation wore off, and his presence grew stronger. It happens only when a person had previous strong partners with whom he or she shared a powerful bond. The more powerful the bond, the longer it takes to go away.”

Odd. That couldn’t be Roy’s case. He’d never had a partner. He’d never merged with anyone. But he must have, and the connection with his partner was still strong. A partner he didn’t want me to know about.

More secrets, and more questions. Just another Tuesday with Roy.

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