Page 33 of If I Were Wind

10. Wrath

TWO DAYS AFTER my return to Raven Park, I hadn’t seen Roy yet. Not a glimpse. My anger had shifted to anxiety, as if I were an addict, needing to get at least a glimpse of him to survive. He wasn’t in his room. He wasn’t in the training hall. Apparently, he never ate because I hadn’t seen him in the dining hall, either. He didn’t walk around the manor. I’d even checked the swimming pool. Everyone else kept claiming to have spotted him—which annoyed me to no end—but for me, he was a ghost. I’d have more luck in spotting the monster of Loch Ness.

Nathan instead seemed to be always around whenever I left my room, always smiling and kind, asking me if I needed anything three times a day. Perhaps I should stop chasing what was bad for my health and focus instead on people like Nathan who cared for me. The bitterness towards Roy was ruining my mood and my meals. Tea tasted like ash in my mouth, and even Ashcombe’s superb pudding—admittedly whiskey was better than brandy—couldn’t lift my mood, my mind always drifting towards Roy. My body remembered his touch too vividly, and even my beast was restless.

In my freshly ironed white uniform, I was leaving the dining hall after breakfast when Nathan caught up with me, blond hair bouncing over his cheeks.

“Kristin, I was looking for you.”

As usual. “Nathan, good morning.” Was I a bad person for wanting to tell him to leave me alone? Sheesh, I didn’t need the guilt on top of everything else.

“Can we work on our merging today?” he asked, eagerness dripping from his voice.

Did I have a choice? I’d avoided him so far, with no great success, but whenever he’d brought up the merging, I’d made excuses. Merging with him felt like cheating on Roy, which was absurd. “Of course. Where do you want to try?”

“Where do you usually merge with Roy?”

No, I wasn’t going to merge in the swimming pool with Nathan. The swimming pool had some precious memories for me and was too jolly intimate. “The training hall.”

“Perfect. Let’s go.”

“Now?” A hysterical note crept into the single word.

“No time like the present.” He lowered his gaze, as if hurt. “The sooner we understand if we are a good match, the better, don’t you think? So we can search for a new partner, if we need one.”

Dash it. He was right, and pouting and whining wouldn’t change the fact that Roy didn’t want to be my partner. It was time to move on. I wasn’t giving up on Roy, but moping around wouldn’t prove to him that I could help him in his job. I nodded. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

I wiped my clammy hands on my trousers as we walked towards the training hall, the corridors now packed with cadets and other uniformed people who…did whatever they did at the manor. Teams of senior cadets trained outside, challenged by the freezing wind and frosted ground. Every time a couple merged, there was a soft popping noise, and a sprout of vivid fur. Roars and howls echoed in the air. Claws gripped the ground, and fangs flashed. My beast stirred, half in excitement and half in fear.

In the distance towards the hills, the blades of the mill—the machine da Vinci had built to create the beasts—rotated slowly. A metal fence surrounded it, and armed guards patrolled the grounds. Not even the beasts were admitted inside the mill, which reminded me of Roy, who didn’t let anyone close. Well, everything reminded me of Roy, curse the man.

Our steps echoed in the high-vaulted ceiling of the hall that had once been a fancy ballroom with wall mirrors, golden stucco decorations, and even frescos on the ceiling, depicting half-naked maidens and equally disrobed knights. So fitting. The rails of dumbbells, and weights, the smell of sweat, and the leather-covered benches ruined the otherwise aristocratic atmosphere. We stopped in one corner of the hall, next to a floor-to-ceiling window that offered a view of the park. Bruce and Michael, two senior cadets, were jogging along the path. They waved at me, beaming, and I waved back. I’d been grumpy to them, despite the fact that they’d always been nice to me from the moment I’d arrived at Raven Park. I silently apologised to them as they jogged away.

Nathan stood in front of me, hands up. “Let’s start with our hands.”

Sparks sizzled when I laced my fingers through his. A pleasant tingle spread over my skin. I couldn’t stop a smile. Energy jolted through me, calling out my beast. I didn’t even have to summon her. Eager, she sprang out, and just like that, Nathan’s hands and mine were merged, forming a pair of sturdy paws.

“Blimey.” My pulse spiked at how easy the merging was. It was like breathing. No tension, or stiffness. No doubts.

He nodded at our paws. “Shall we go for a full merging?”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. The full merging meant removing my uniform. Everyone undressed in front of other cadets. The rules of modesty didn’t apply to Raven Park. Nothing new. But I didn’t have to like it.

“If you want to wait, I understand,” he said, splitting our paws with a completely painless gesture. My hands returned to be human in a heartbeat. “But we have a good start.”

The lump in my throat was all about my self-consciousness and the fact that it felt wrong merging with someone who wasn’t Roy. But heck, he’d assigned me a new partner. This situation was his doing. “No, it’s all right. Let’s do it.”

Avoiding glancing at the naked maidens above me, I folded my shirt and trousers and put them on a weight bench. The hallowed silk swimming suit was rather modest, but the fabric stretched over my body like a glove. It was like standing naked. The fact that Roy had been the last one to see me in this suit didn’t help. My treacherous body tingled in all the wrong places, still feeling his tongue and lips over me.

Nathan rubbed the back of his neck after he removed his brown uniform that marked him as an almost senior officer, muscles and sinews twitching with energy. “I don’t like this part.” A nervous chuckle broke free of him. “I know everyone does it, but I don’t feel comfortable.” He tugged at his hallowed silk underwear.

I laughed, tension leaving my shoulders. “Me neither. I thought I was the only one who didn’t like it.”

“It’s like being naked in a room full of people.” A flush coloured his cheeks. “My mum wouldn’t approve.”

We burst out laughing. The knot of tension in my belly eased.

He grinned, eyes twinkling. “I’m curious to see what our beast looks like.” He stepped closer. “Are you ready?”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com