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“I’m not the sole force behind the LLS. There’s my friend, Stella, and an entire staff.”
“If you have a staff and a charitable organization, you’re as much a manager as I. Only instead of producing textiles or rail ties, you’re caring for people who need it.”
“There’s something else. You know of my research? On the topic of—amorous congress?”
James chuckled warmly against her hand and touched the tip of his tongue to her palm. “Clara, you just said the word ‘prostitute’ a moment ago. Is ‘amorous congress’ the most apt description of what you and I do?”
She snatched her hand back. “Think me excessively prim, do you? I’ll have you know that the friend from whom I borrowed the research materials is the same woman with whom I founded and operate the London Ladies’ Society. Stella works as a prostitute.He looked at her as if trying to credit what she was saying. “Your friend is a ladybird?”
“She is. And she’s my best friend.”
“How did you meet her?”
James listened quietly to the story, then asked, “Who knows of this?”
“Outside of the LLS and my household, only you.”
“Your brother isn’t aware?”
She shook her head. “Too many people depend on the LLS for me to risk it—residents and staff alike.”
“That’s quite a weight to shoulder.”
Air rushed out of her lungs at his statement. “It is!” When her eyes filled with tears, she lowered her head to his shoulder. Swallowing, she squeezed her eyes shut. “I said earlier that my brother’s important to me. Yet I’m hiding half my life from him.”
“The LLS. Me.”
“Yes,” she whispered painfully.
His hand covered the back of her head. “I’ve seen you together but once, and I know your brother’s a different man with you there. He didn’t marry you off. He loves you. Perhaps you can tell him about the LLS. Doesn’t your sort value philanthropy?”
“Of course. And hemightapprove of the LLS. But he might well be bothered about certain aspects I’m unwilling to change about Violet House.”
“Violet House?”
“That’s the name of the boardinghouse.”
“Och, Clara.” He stroked her hair. “How can he not support it? She was his aunt, too.”
Clara groaned. “I named it after her to honor her, and as a reminder that all the women at Violet House deserve the care Violet received when she was ill. But in truth, Violet wouldn’t have supported what the LLS does.”
“I see,” he said quietly.
“I can’t fathom my brother taking issue with the care we give to those in need, but he might not support all of our principles. We don’t ask the residents to repent or reform. There’s no shame in Violet House. If nothing else, he’s likely to worry about our family’s reputation if the connection was discovered.”
James held her quietly. Eventually, he asked, “Can you live with him not knowing?”
Clara wondered if he was still speaking of Violet House. “I don’t know.” Her answer applied either way.
“I know what it is to hide something from family. I don’t envy you this position, lass.”
“Oh, James! I’m so sorry about what happened with your parents. I was about to say that this is different. That I’m not at risk of losing my brother. But that’s exactly what I fear.”
The gentleness with which his large thumb wiped her tears only made her cry harder. She turned her face back into the crook of his neck, hiding her face. She clutched his shoulders as she sobbed quietly.
His body was rigid under hers, but he didn’t let go of her. After she quieted, her fingers still pressed into his firm shoulders, needing him.
“Clara, I—” He cleared his throat, but his voice remained tight. “I don’t want to let you go. Not yet. But I know your dedication. Look at how you cared for your aunt, and now your LLS. I know you love your brother like that. I won’t see that destroyed because of me.”
