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But that order would look even worse!
She wrapped her arms around herself. “Frederick, we’re both quite particular in our ways, aren’t we?”
“Quite. Isn’t that one reason we have such an understanding?”
“Oh, it is! It is. But do you—do you ever wonder if it will be difficult for you to live with me in your house?”
He set down the tea canister and looked at her. “Certain…adjustments will be necessary. I’ll do my best to be accommodating.”
“I want to do my best, too, but…”
Frederick angled his head, regarding her with a furrowed brow. “Have you changed your mind about marrying?”
She smiled and stepped closer to him, taking his hand. “I haven’t. I wish to be your wife!” His look of relief was unmistakable. “AndI…wish to remain in service.”
He looked as if he doubted his hearing. “What?”
“What if we married, but I continued in service to Lady Clara?”
“That would mean we’d live apart most of the time,” he said slowly.
She nodded but stayed silent, giving him time to consider. Though he still held her hands, he looked off in the distance for some time.
“Couldwe do that, Molly? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“Sailors go off to sea for long periods. Shepherds must be out with their flocks at times.”
She observed his reaction. Would he point out that those were men’s occupations?
He considered her words with his usual seriousness, but as time went on, a small smile turned into a larger one, and he brought her hands to the spot over his heart. “You accepted my proposal last night. Today I accept yours. My sensible Molly.”
The words were spoken with such adoration, a wave of powerful emotion carried her away, and she didn’t feel sensible at all. She flattened her palms against his chest, wanting to be closer to him. Even through the layers of his cravat and shirt, he was solid and warm.
His hands covered hers, but within seconds, his smile fell away and the mood shifted as they stared into each other’s eyes. She dented her fingertips into the muscle under her hands and shivered.
Frederick swallowed hard. “I don’t trust myself, Molly. I once said that when I taste you, I won’t want to stop. We indulged in that cab, but here…there’s nothing to stop us.”
She studied his face. “If not stopping would cause you distress or regret, I’ll wait until after our marriage.” Her voice dropped as she flexed her hands again. “But I don’t want to wait…”
He lifted one of her palms to his lips and slowly pressed a kiss to its sensitive center. “What I’m about to say is self-serving. Absurd, even. But I don’t care. May I suggest that there’s wisdom in taking you upstairs and removing this gown to worship you tonight for Christmas?”
Her body melted into his, her softness fitting against all of his hardness. “Wisdom?” she asked breathily.
“We don’t like surprises, Molly, do we? It’s downright sensible to try the marriage bed before the wedding. It would alleviate certain anxieties, I believe.”
She gave the most sultry laugh she ever had in her life.“You rake!”
“I all but admitted that already.” The amusement in his eyes gave way, however, to near grimness. “What if, after all, thosecertain activitiesaren’t…palatable to you? Or I’m not? Best we discover that now.”
Molly could tell that he’d tried to speak in a matter-of-fact tone, making it all the more heartbreaking to glimpse his doubts.
“Oh, Frederick. I worry about many a thing, large and small. Will my two pregnant sisters and Lady Clara survive the next months? Will I be able to eat my supper if Cook mixes the carrots and peas instead of making them separately? But our marriage bed? Oh, no. I haven’t a single doubt aboutthis,” she said, reaching up to cup his face.
He turned until his lips brushed her fingers. “Those materials you lent to me—did you truly peruse them?”
“Every page,” she admitted in a whisper. “You?”
He nodded slowly. “From binding to binding. Andstillyou believe you can bear to pursue these activities?”
