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“No, no, of course not.” Vassilis raised his palms, but his eyes remained bright, making Helen wonder if he’d raised more than one celebratory glass. “I don’t want either of you to be in doubt about my approval. I’m a fortunate man to have both you and your sister match this year—and with good, strong stock!”
Helen shifted on her feet, unable to hide her dismay.Misguided or no, he means his comparison to animals as a compliment, she reminded herself.
Nicholas’s jaw clenched. “Reserve your unsolicited opinions for another occasion—preferably when the only two individuals present are you and your reflection in the mirror. You speak of your fortunes without remembering that others have not been so fortunate of late. Helen is in mourning!”
His father’s eyes flared at the unmistakable offense in Nicholas’s tone, his still-raised palms bobbing in the air. “Forgive me.” His eyes moved to Helen. “Both of you,please. I meant no offense—the opposite! I haven’t forgotten about your poor brother. So unfortunate, my dear. Above all, I don’t wish for you to doubt your value to this family, even after our silver ended up at the bottom of the sea.”
Helen’s mouth parted in horror. “Value?” she whispered.
“Father, speak no more! You’ve caused enough harm!”
She resisted Nicholas’s pressure on her arm. “No, I wish to hear this. Vassilis, whatvaluedo I have to your family now that”—she swallowed painfully—“your silver is gone?”
He stepped closer, his expression worried but hopeful. “Helen, it’s as I told you. You are the bridge to my son. If you can forgive me, he will follow. And grandchildren! A man my age understands silver is good, but family is most important. No tea profits from you, and you’re not as young as Pen, but I have every confidence you can bear robust children! That’s good, eh? I’ll have not just my son in my life, thanks to you.” He looked at Nicholas. “I’ll have his sons near, too,Theoú thélontos! God willing!”
Bridge. Grandchildren.
Her value to this family, or at least to its strong-willed patriarch, would be tied to factors beyond her control. She’d formerly been pleased to think of her presence in their home as healing; she saw the love Nicholas had for his parents and they for him.
But she couldn’t be responsible for solving their problems or delivering Vassilis’s son to him.
She had failed as a bridge between Robbie and his parents. Failed at being enough of a wife to make Robbie a husband. Cold spread through her belly at the thought of shouldering those responsibilities in a new family. How long would it take for Vassilis to turn against her when she couldn’t live up to his expectations?
Helen straightened her spine. “I wish your family well, Vassilis, but I’m not a bridge. I’m not to be walked upon or driven over. For that, you’ll need to go to Vauxhall Bridge and pay your toll.”
His eyebrows rose. “I—I meant no offense.” He brought his hands together in front of his chest, as if praying, and looked at Nicholas, who stood stone-faced. “All I want is for this family to be united again. For the Sideris line to continue.”
Nicholas’s hand tightened on her arm. “Have you forgotten your own words to me? That if I left your shipping company, I wasn’t a Sideris anymore? That I wasn’t your son?”
A gray pallor spread across Vassilis’s face, and his hands fell to his side. “My greatest fault is speaking when I shouldn’t. I meant only to keep you close! I didn’t mean those words.”
“Words matter, Father. It was you who pushed me away. I’m Irons now. My children will have my name.”
Gasping as if stabbed, his father took a step back, but color gradually spread through his cheeks again, and his fists clenched. “You’re a proud man. I respect that. We’re more alike than you think. Perhaps youhadto change your name after everything I said. But you did not change it to Smith, eh? Or”—he gestured wildly—“Jones! Helen, do you know what Sideris means in Greek?”
Blinking at the unexpected question, Helen stared for a moment before shaking her head.
Vassilis lifted his fist into the air and pumped. “Iron! It means iron. You remain my son, whatever name you go by—Nikolaos Sideris or Nicholas Irons. Go now in anger if you must. I, if anyone, can understand. But you’ll be back. We’re blood.”
Nicholas and Helen left wordlessly.
Turning inward as her thoughts whirled, she didn’t hear the horses’s hooves clomping along the street during their journey to the townhouse, and she paid no heed to how she swayed with every turn.
Halfway through the ride, Nicholas spoke, his words quiet but garnering her full attention. “I’m sorry about all that.”
She closed her eyes.As am I.
His hand slid over hers. “It was a long evening. I know you’re tired—and that my father’s words cut.”
“They did. But I’m grateful for it.”
He tucked a finger under her chin and waited for her to open her eyes and meet his. “What does that mean?”
Swallowing, she girded herself against the coming pain—both her own and what she was about to inflict. “He was being honest. I know where I stand. That’s much better than finding out later. I’ll never be enough for your family, Nicholas. Not for your father, anyway.”
“I’m the last to defend that man right now, but even I don’t believe that. And it doesn’t matter whathebelieves anyway, does it? It’s what you and I believe!”
“It matters to me! I won’t live that way again, with my husband’s family placing me on a pedestal, only to knock me off when they’re disappointed!”
