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She cocked her head. Did he believe dogs to be inferior to people because they didn’t live as long? She looked back at the image of a family with beloved dogs close in their midst.No, that’s not it. “It’s very sad when they die, isn’t it? They’re family.”
“You know what it is to mourn.”
His voice was so clipped, Helen had to remind herself of what she’d seen less than a minute earlier—the depth of this man’s humanity, hidden now. “I do know. As do you. Your parents.” She swallowed, remembering her tea venture took the life of his friend. “Mr. Thomas.”
“Then you know that each time we are left behind, the wounds only grow. It becomes no easier to lose; quite the opposite.”
She considered this for a time before nodding. “I found that with Elijah’s passing, I had to mourn all the others who passed before. It was compounded, indeed.”
He raised an eyebrow. “At times, the temptation of a dog and its companionship is great. Until I remember what the loss entails.” He indicated the painting with a quick movement of his chin, but this time he refused to look at it.
Seeing this in someone else—it’s more than obvious `tis no way to live!
David Chadbourne’s defenses against connection were even more entrenched than her own. In her encounters with him, his briskness had annoyed her to a degree, but knowing how adored he was by the Sideris family—and held in high esteem by Nicholas—she’d given him the benefit of the doubt.
Now her heart ached for him, and she wanted to grab him by the arms and take him to the nearest stables to find a litter of pups. She imagined this stiff noble cuddling a warm, wriggling creature, a little beast who would take no notice of his title and undoubtedly engage in improper behavior like licking the Earl's face and stamping his smart clothing with muddy paw prints. She nearly giggled.
Instead, she turned to the matter at hand. “I’m looking for Nicholas. He sold his house, you know.”
“Indeed. I purchased it from him.”
She couldn’t help but look around his lavish foyer. “You did? Oh. An investment?”
“A favor. He required a transaction in haste.”
“He required funds in haste,” she whispered. When she looked up at the Earl, she found him regarding her, as if trying to understand what madness could have compelled his friend and employee to act as he had. “You don’t approve.”
“Of?” he drawled.
“Of any of this! Starting with Nicholas investing the silver in my tea venture.”
He dipped his head in acknowledgment. “That was inadvisable in the extreme.”
“I can hardly argue, given what happened,” she said in a reasonable tone, even as hurt and outrage tinged her cheeks red. “Now you must think him foolish to have given up his home. To have settled the funds onme.”
One broad shoulder lifted under the Earl’s tailored dark coat. “Not foolish, Mrs. Gray. Honorable. Understandable, even, in light of his affliction.”
“Affliction?”
Lord Anterleigh’s nose lifted in the air a fraction. “His affections for you. I can attest to the lunacies that love engenders, I assure you. I have witnessed it not just in those around me, but experienced it personally. I was a son, and I am a brother.” He shuddered. “It creates quite a weakness in judgment, does it not? Leads an otherwise rational person to accept the unacceptable. To risk the unwise. To give without end.”
“All of that is true.”
“Of course it is! Why, youmustagree if you are turning down his suit and leaving England. Forgive my crude directness, madam, but I shan’t prevaricate. Not when you and I share an understanding. You are wise to remove yourself from the clutches of the madness that results from strong feelings for another. Most wise, indeed!”
Oh, poor soul.She sighed.Poor me! I very nearly took the path this man has.“Lord…” She winced, forgetting his title again. “David,” she allowed, ignoring his rapid blinking at the use of his Christian name. “Forgive my crude directness, but I’m accepting the madness. I’m embracing it, in fact.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I was leaving because I was afraid of being hurt...in the future. Only to realize that by running away, I was causing pain now—to myself and to Nicholas. There’s a certain…idiocy to love, I admit. But there’s a lovely courageousness to it, too, isn’t there? Well, David, I’d rather be an idiot than a coward.”
His mouth parted in shock.
She looked over at the painting again for a moment. “I hope one day, you have a new painting in your home. One where there’s someone sitting next to you—and all around you on the carpet, there are dogs and children.”
His face softened…for a few seconds. Then he clenched his jaw, and his hands fisted by his side. “I say! Have you been under the influence of my sister, Clara? Such nonsense!” His voice quieted, mumbling to himself. “I shall need a top hat straight away.”
The English and their strange sayings.She sighed as silently as she could. “Please, I must find Nicholas. Do you know where he is?”
