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CHAPTER8
Aurelia
When I wake the next morning, I immediately feel a sense of dread. It churns in the pit of my stomach, making me feel nauseous. It takes me a moment to realise I’m safe, that I’m away from my parents and that nothing bad is going to happen to me.
It also takes me a second to remember I kissed Ryan last night, and he rejected me.
I cover my face with my hands.
What was I thinking?
Of course he was never going to reciprocate. I told him I kissed him because I had no choices of my own. I made it seem like I was doing it to stick it to my parents.
I wince.
I need to leave the country.
Forever.
How am I supposed to face him after that? I lie, staring at the ceiling for a while, my thoughts going a hundred miles per hour. Eventually, I force myself to get out of bed. I have to face him at some point. Maybe I can just ignore what happened and act as if I didn’t make a fool of myself.
I go into the ensuite bathroom. There are toiletries under the sink, as if my brothers knew I would have to move quickly and stocked the place. I shower, brush my teeth, and go into the bedroom. I check the closet and find some sweatpants and a hoodie hanging up. There are a few other garments, but not an extensive range of things.
I slip into them. I’m going to need to do some shopping at some point or collect my clothes from my parents’ home.
Though the likelihood of my brothers allowing that is slim to none.
I make my way down the small hallway into the living room. Ryan is already awake. He’s sitting on the sofa, a coffee mug clutched in his hand. The scent of it permeates the air.
“I just made a fresh pot,” he says. He doesn’t mention me throwing myself at him last night, but even so, I feel heat rising in my cheeks.
Trying to play it cool, I go into the kitchen area and hunt through the cupboards for a mug. I find one in the cupboard nearest to the hob and pour myself some coffee.
“There’s no milk.” He speaks so close to me, I jolt, splashing coffee on the countertop.
“Shit,” I mutter. I didn’t hear him sneak up behind me. “It’s fine,” I say, not looking at him. “I can drink it without.”
“Did you sleep okay?” he asks, moving to the side of me and leaning against the counter. It’s hard to avoid him when he’s in my space, sucking all the air from my lungs.
“Not really,” I mumble. “Did you?”
“No,” he admits. The silence grows between us for a moment, and I hate that it’s there. “Lia, look at me.”
The words are soft, but the order is firm. Even so, I still hesitate to give him my attention. When I lock on to his eyes, I expect to see… what? Anger? Judgment? I don’t see anything there but concern.
Even so, I can’t stop from chewing my bottom lip, nerves getting the better of me.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” I say.
“Kissing me wasn’t the issue.”
“What was?”
“The reason for doing it.”
I tear my eyes from his, heat rising in my cheeks. “Well, it was a mistake, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
He takes my chin in his fingers, forcing me to look at him again. I want to look away, but I feel mesmerised by him. He draws me in like a maelstrom, threatening to pull me under the water. This is dangerous.
