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For him in particular.
My brothers will kill him for touching me. He’s supposed to be protecting me.
“Do you really think it was a mistake?” he asks.
I don’t. Not even a little. “I meant to kiss you,” I admit. “I wanted to.” I want to again. I want him to press against me and make me moan. I want him to be my first, my choice. “I didn’t do it to stick it to my parents. I know that’s what you think. That this is just a way of me getting back at them, but it’s not.”
He trails his fingers over my cheek, his eyes crawling over my face. “Why did you do it then?”
I try to collect my thoughts before I speak.
“I’ve never been allowed to make my own decisions,” I say. “You’re the first thing I’ve chosen for myself. That means a lot to me. Just having the choice to do what I want.”
Ryan leans into me, and I hold my breath. Is he going to kiss me? I want him to. His mouth comes within inches of mine. The depth of emotion swirling in his eyes makes me feel something I’ve never felt.
Wanted.
I know my brothers love me, but it’s a different kind of love. I want soul deep love. The kind that spans years. The kind that makes me unable to breathe without my other half. The kind of love that is immortalised in songs.
I know it’s stupid. Real life isn’t a fairy tale. There is no riding into the sunset with a soul mate. Not in my world anyway. Up until my brothers stepped in, I fully expected to marry a stranger. I never thought I’d be able to choose my husband. I never thought I’d wed someone I love.
Now that I have that chance, I want to feel those things.
I want the epic love story, as childish as that is.
“You’ll be able to make all your own decisions now,” he tells me. “Your brothers want you to live your life the way you want to. You shouldn’t rush into something because you feel free.”
“I’m not rushing into anything, Ryan.”
I close the gap between us. Brushing my lips over his, he takes a moment to reciprocate, but then he presses me back against the counter, his hands cupping my neck as he claims my mouth.
I slant my head, my fingers clinging to his back as I try to deepen it. My heart is pounding as his tongue slips into my mouth.
His kiss is warm and wet, sensual and delicious. I’ve never been kissed with such wanton need. I’ve never felt so wanted before. He slides his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck, tugging my head back slightly so he can control the kiss.
I melt into him, my body feeling like jelly. His hold on me is the only thing keeping me on my feet. I’ve never been kissed like this.
In truth, I’ve never been kissed.
My family made it impossible to have relationships, and I was expected to be ‘pure’ for my husband.
My toes curl into the floor as I grip him tighter. This feels like a surreal dream. Every inch of my body feels like it’s on fire, my skin prickling everywhere he touches me.
I want more from him. I need it.
But he pulls back, a little breathless. “This is wrong,” he says.
“Why?”
“Because I’m supposed to be protecting you, Lia, not kissing you.”
“Why can’t you do both?”
“Do you have the first clue what your brothers will do to me if they find out what I’ve done?” There’s no fear in his words, but he should be scared.
Unease ripples through me, even if it doesn’t through him.
“Nothing’s happened other than a kiss.”
