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Fear wracks my body, making the trembling hard to mask. The memories of what he put me through flood to the forefront of my mind. The way he used to drug me, the way he used to rape me. I…It’s getting harder to breathe, but I keep my lips clamped shut. My chest burns as the muscles constrict with anxiety.
The smells, the way his voice carries, and the way his fingers trace my exposed skin push me back in time. My mind shifts between the past and present. Memories of my battered and bruised body at his mercy refuse to leave me. I can’t blink them away no matter how hard I try.
I can taste the coppery, acidic mixture of my blood and the bitter drugs he used to pump inside me. I can taste the way he’d make me bleed from being too rough with me while he was jamming his cock down my throat.
I can smell, taste, and feel the memories of him inside me. The memories of the wrath he used to rain down on me. It’s becoming too much, too suffocating. I’m losing my grip on reality the more I take in my surroundings. I’m torn between trying to remain strong and cracking down the middle so the pain goes away.
I can’t do that again.
“Open up, you slut. You think I don’t know what you did while I was gone? If you’re going to act like a bitch in heat, you’ll get treated like one. Now open that pretty fucking mouth and take your present.” Zayan’s cold voice sends a shiver down my spine no matter how hard I will my body not to. The grim reaper is here and ready to collect the remnants of my soul. His voice is laced with a promise to break me, leaving me shattered until there’s nothing left.
He latches onto my face with his punishing grip, squeezing my cheeks to open my mouth. I kick wildly beneath him, but he’s too heavy to lift. Two thick fingers jam into my mouth, pushing them so deep I choke and gag, trying to catch my breath. “Now swallow, like the whore you are.” It tastes exactly the same as it used to. The pill is bitter, but there’s no blood accompanying it this time. The only thing I taste is doom.
He pulls his fingers out, leaving me coughing, trying to push the pills back up, but it’s no use. They are so far down my throat that I have no choice but to swallow. “Good girl. Can’t wait to fly high with you, baby. But my high will be a little different. It will come from soaking my cock with your sweet juices.” He unbuttons his pants, pushing them down his hips as much as possible in this position. His cock springs free just as a whimper from the despair that’s about to come escapes me.
“Fuck. I’m rock hard. You do this to me. No one else could ever get me hard like you. That fear in your eyes, the way they shine with tears. The way you fight me. Fuck, it makes me crazy for you.” Rubbing his cock against my body, the pre-cum drips on my skin, marking me as his.
“Stop,” I bite out. My mind is slowly escaping me, trying to distinguish between the past and reality.
“I can’t stop. I’ll never leave you again. It’s you and me until we die.” His wild eyes are entranced by where his dick pushes against my entrance. There’s no doubt in my mind that he would kill both of us so that he didn’t have to be away from me again.
“Zayan…” My voice is hoarse, croaking from my screaming in the dark earlier. I need to stop him, but I don’t think anything can. He won’t stop until he gets what he wants. I have to change my method. “Please, please, Zay, please don’t hurt me. It’s me, it’s your dahlia. Didn’t you say you’d always protect me? Remember. Remember when you said that?”
“Hmm, what’s this? Do you want me to fuck you nice and slow like I used to? You missed the romantic side of me? My girl wants me to make love to her?” He caresses my cheek ever so softly. Leaning into his touch, I hope he’ll think I’m back under his spell. But the only thing I feel is numb.
“Zay, I…we just need time to heal. Please. You being back surprised me. I…wasn’t expecting it.” The words taste like acid on my tongue. There’s no way in hell I’d ever go back to him, but it’s always been a mental game with this man.
He gets off my body abruptly, standing next to the bed. I sag in relief, but it only lasts for a fleeting moment before he pushes his jeans and boxers down in one go, followed by his shirt falling to the floor. “I’ve waited too long for this, dahlia. I’ve given you time. Now you need me. You need this,” he says lovingly as he strokes his cock.
My body fights with my brain, begging to kick and scream. My fight or flight instincts are kicking in, but I have to play it smart.
“Can’t you at least untie me? Please, it hurts. I want to touch you.”Stay strong. Stay strong. Do not let him break you.
“Will you be a good girl if I do?” He tilts his head, observing my facial expression.
I nod a little too enthusiastically, slowly feeling the effects of the drugs he shoved down my throat. I’m starting to feel lightheaded, but I try to focus. My eyes search for his in the hazy mess, but all I see are his furrowed brows like he’s lost deep in thought.
He gets back on the bed with anger etched across his features as he pushes my legs apart, keeping me from squeezing them shut. My instincts tell me to kick and scream, but he’ll only hurt me worse if I do that. He sits between my thighs as his cock touches my core. “Are you sure you’ll be a good girl while I make love to you?”
“Yeth. Yes, I’ll be good. I pro…promise.” The words sound weird as they roll off my tongue with a slur. My limbs are starting to loosen, like they’re floating above me. The softness of my voice transports me back to all the other times I’d beg for him to untie me. When I cried for him to be the same man I fell in love with before he turned into a monster. The man I thought I’d spend forever with.
It’s not real. It’s not real.
I can overcome it again.
I did it once, I can do it again. Please just let me survive him again, and I’ll do anything.
Zayan leans forward, running his hand up my arm until he reaches the rope. Holy shit. I didn’t think this would actually work. I didn’t think I’d get him to untie me. He stops, his other hand forcefully gripping my neck. “Damn, you almost had me there, dahlia. You almost fucking fooled me. However, I know you better. Do you think I’m an idiot? Is that it?”
He squeezes so hard that I start gasping for air, wiggling my body as much as possible to get out of his hold. “Zay…”
“You’re nothing but a conniving bitch. I almost believed you actually cared there for a split second. You don’t think I know how many guys you let inside this cunt trying to erase the memories of me from inside your walls? Your words are just like you. Fake. A stupid fake, little bitch.” As he utters the last word, he thrusts inside my body in one go without a second thought.
Everything is collapsing around me. Seizing, trying to push away the pain.
“No! Stop! Please, stop!” I scream, as my body trembles in pain.
Fuck. It hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.
