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My heart nearly ripped right out of my chest when I saw her lying in the back of the Snakes’ van. So fragile, beaten, and bruised. A stark contrast from the strong woman I’ve grown to crave. She went through more than she ever should have in such a short amount of time, but she kept fighting. She protected herself just like I knew she could.
She’s hurting and no doubt, traumatized, but she’s back with us.
I fucked up the first time, but I won’t again. Not when it comes to her. I’ll protect her until my dying breath, against anyone and anything.
It’s only a matter of time before he comes looking for her—but I’ll be ready this time. We’ll all be prepared to keep her safe now that everyone understands what we are up against.
The war between my head and heart escalates the longer I wait outside Nix’s door. I’m itching to see her, but she needs her rest.
There aren’t many places she could go for safety, and he’s smart enough to realize that. Between here, Lya’s, her parents, and the restaurant, she doesn’t have much else and that thought is absolutely terrifying.
I pride myself on remaining levelheaded and in control of my emotions so I can always be alert, but when it comes to her, I lose all sense of rationality. I want to lock her away and protect her from the world, even though I know that’s the exact opposite of what she’d want. She’s not meant to be caged. She thrives on being free, spontaneous, and on her own.
Rolling my neck, I stand up from the uncomfortable hardwood floor and stretch out my aching limbs. I’m not sure how much longer I can sit here staring at the camera feed on my phone, waiting for any minute movement to catch my eye. I’m paranoid that the moment I stop watching is the moment he’s going to strike.
I can’t let that happen.
I think I dozed off for a few minutes but other than that, I kept my protective position outside her door. Outside…but not in there with her.
I had to tamp down the hurt in my chest when she didn’t ask for me to hold her while she slept. She asked for Cohutta and I’m happy she’s at least letting one of us in, but it still hurts.
She didn’t ask for me at all.
I want to touch her, hold her, protect her. I want to keep her within arm’s reach at all times to make sure she’s okay, to give her anything and everything she needs. I feel like a man possessed, ready to fight the world for her.
My stomach drops as my mind runs to thoughts that scare the shit out of me. Maybe she blames me for this, too. Like I blame myself. Maybe that’s why she didn’t want me there. Maybe I imagined the connection between us.
I’m upset it wasn’t me she called for, but I know Reilly will keep her safe. He’s that soft comfort she needs right now. He can give her that little bit of positivity and light she needs to erase the memories of being with Zayan. He honestly needs her too. He completely spiraled when she was gone. She’s the only one who can save him.
It’s nearly six in the morning now. I haven’t heard any movement from inside, and it’s eating me alive. I know I should respect their privacy, but I can’t take it any longer, I need to see her. I need to make sure she’s safe. Fuck if she wants to see me or not.
Taking a deep breath, I slowly turn the handle, pushing the door open as quietly as possible. The curtains are drawn, but a faint light comes from the ensuite bathroom, highlighting the two sleeping bodies tangled around each other. I step inside, gently closing the door behind me as I listen to their soft, slow breaths.
The light amplifies the outline of Tara’s body clinging tightly to Reilly’s as he lies on his back with his arms around her. Her jet-black hair flows down her back, but it lacks its usual shine.
Purple and black bruises mar her beautiful olive skin. She looks smaller, lacking the light she usually exudes. My chest tightens, making it harder to breathe the longer I stare at her. I should’ve never left that house. I should’ve pushed Nix harder to go back in there and get her. She wouldn’t be like this if I had.
Her peaceful sleeping frame is so close I'm aching to reach out and touch her, but I don’t want to scare her or make her feel uncomfortable. I just had to make sure she was okay. The grainy cameras aren’t good enough for me. Not anymore. Reilly would never hurt her, but I had to see with my own eyes that this wasn’t a dream.
She’ll get better. She’s going to grow stronger after this. I just hope he didn’t break her so much that she doesn’t want to come back from it. She went through his version of hell before and came out stronger, but can she do it again?
Deciding I’ve stared at her long enough, I slowly spin around and walk back toward the door. Just as I grab the handle, the soft voice I’ve been dying to hear stops me in my tracks. “Rush.” It’s airy, so faint I think I imagined it, until I hear it again. “Rush.” It’s a faint croak, but I know it’s her. A voice I haven’t heard in what feels like forever.
I instantly head toward the bed, making sure to take my time and not sprint to her like I’m dying to do. Her frail hand reaches out, and her fingers intertwine with mine.
Warmth spreads through me, sparking every single nerve ending like fireworks. She’s barely touching me, but I can feel her everywhere. My body is on fire, igniting from being this close to her. I missed her so much. Just the slightest touch is enough to put me over the edge.
My Tara is actually here. Safe.
With my free hand, I slowly rub her forehead, pushing her hair back so I can see those beautiful green eyes that invade my dreams. They aren’t shining as bright as usual, but I can still see that spark in them. The spark that’s begging her to come back to us. One that wants to be set on fire but isn’t quite ready.
She leans into my touch, but I can feel her trembling beneath me. Easing my knees to the floor, I kneel beside the bed, face-to-face with Tara. “I’m here. I’m here.” Her body shudders at my voice, as tears begin to leak from her eyes. “Shh, baby. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. He can’t hurt you anymore, not on my watch.” She pulls out of Reilly’s hold and rolls toward me, wincing in pain as she maneuvers her bruised limbs and the IV stuck in her arm. I try to help her, but she holds her hand up to stop me, wanting to do it on her own.My Tara is still in there somewhere.She keeps her back pressed against Reilly, who now rolls over, wrapping an inked arm around her waist. My eyes catch on the veins snaking up his tan forearm, but I quickly move my attention back to Tara. I should be focusing on her, not this newfound attraction to my boss’s best friend. His very hot best friend.
“I thought I lost you.” My voice is barely audible, trying not to think about the fear I’ve felt since the last time I saw her. “I never would have forgiven myself if we didn’t get you back.” I pull back from her, trying to give her space, but she squeezes my hand as much as she can. My chest tightens as I think of all the ‘what ifs’.
“I survived. I’m alive and still kicking. Even he couldn’t tear me down for good,” she tries to say with the confidence I know she doesn’t feel.
“And you’re never going to get taken away from us again. I’ll die before I let that happen, Tara.”
